DOI issue:
August 28, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16622#0096
August 28, 1858-1
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
89
IMMENSE PROGRESS IN CHINA.
he Chinese negotiators
^VjV^ with Lobd Elgin and
| Bakon Gbos, have a-
doptcd (as we are in-
formed by the Times cor-
respondent) the word
" Plenipotentiary " into
the language of the
Flowery Land. Consid-
ering that the Chinese
tongue is without any
equivalent for "lie,"
" honour," or " friend-
ship," it ought to be
the diplomatic language
par excellence; and it
would indeed be de-
plorable were it to re-
main without so long
a word, with so little
meaning, as the re-
spectable polysyllable
iu question, which, no
doubt, by this time,
drags its slow length
along in a series of
gridiron-like monosylla-
bles, as long as a coolie's
cash-string, a Manda-
rin's pig tail, or even the negotiations of Ti-en-si themselves.
THE SCENTRAL BOARD.
Mr. Robinson moved that the shutters be closed, and this propo-
sition being resisted, the Board was about again to divide when the
Chairman pointed out that there were no shutters.
Mb. Wickings moved, that it be an instruction to the Chairman to
order a blind to be made and fixed before their next meeting.
Mb. Doulton moved that it be a Venetian blind.
Mb. Jones opposed this. Venus was a heathen god, and they had
nothing to do with hiin there.
Mr. Doulton explained.
Mr. Jones said that made matters worse. He had read that
Venice was a hollowgarchy, and they wanted nothing of that kind in
London. He moved for plain brown Holland, pure and simple, and
on a roller with a spring. He had one in his back shop, and it
worked uncommon well.
Mb. Bobinson was an enemy to extravagance, but he thought a
mere Holland blind was rather beneath the dignity of that Board.
{Applause.) He proposed that a blind should be painted with the
arms of the Board in transparency.
Mb. Brown was afraid the Board was seen through quite enough
already. {Murmurs.")
The Chaibman proposed a middle course. He had seen very good
blinds in Tottenham Court Boad, made of Holland, but painted with
horizontal stripes in green, to represent Venetian blinds. He did not
speak from positive information, but had reason to think that an
estimate of one-and-ninepence for such a blind could not be appre-
ciably exceeded.
Mb. Wickjngs said that he would be no party to a sham. He had
read Mb. Buskin's book, and, though he would not have the presump-
tion to say he understood it, he had gained some knowledge of truth in
art. The blind ought to be conscientious.
The Chaibman had no objection, but did not see how conscience
was to be got into a blind. Perhaps, as the sun had now gone in-
Mb. Diffangeb. As clouds interpose between the luminary and
this our earth.
The Chairman. Very right. The honourable member, being no
longer inconvenienced, would be willing to proceed with business ?
Mr. Jones would do nothing of the kind. The sun might come out
again, and then they would have to renew their discussion.
Mr. F. Dotjlton offered to lend the honourable member an umbrella,
to be used in the light of a parasol, if necessary. {Applause.)
Mb. Jones was not reduced to that strait that if he wanted an
umbrellas or parasols either, or a pair o' soles, for the matter of that
{laughter), he need be beholden to another party. He had money
enough, thank Providence, to buy what he wanted. He stood upon a
The Scentral Board met again on Saturday last for the purpose of
purifying the Bivcr Thames, and prosecuted their labours with an
ardour which gives every assurance that before long the cleansing of
ibe stream will be completely effected.
Mb. Thwaites, on taking the chair (which he remarked, with a
sniile, had this time been carefully dusted) said that the weather was
changing again. It was beginning to rain, and he thought they would ! question of principle
nave a wet afternoon. The Chaibman said that Mr. Wickings had moved that a blind be
Mr. Wicktngs had no objection to the Chairman's making mytho- put up. Mr. Dotjlton bad proposed to insert the word "Venetian,"
logical remarks promiscuously, but he should oppose their being , and Mb. Jones had moved an amendment for substituting " Holland."
entered on the minutes. Would he withdraw that amendment ?
Mb. Diffangeb supposed that the honourable member meant; Mb. Jones would see the Board blessed first, and then he wouldn't,
meteorological, not mythological. t The Board divided on the amendment, which was negatived by
Mb. Wickings demanded what was the odds, so long as the 19 to 7.
honourable member was happy ? _ Mb. Doulton, to save time, would suggest that the matter be left
The Chaibman said that they would now proceed to business. The j to the discretion of the Chairman, who, ne was sure, would endeavour
Legislature had invested them— to meet the views of all parties.
Me. Jones begged to interpose. The sun had come out, and was ! Mb. Lobscouse would throw out another suggestion. Suppose
shining through the window right bang into his eye. [ they did not have a blind at all, but had the window dabbed all over
The Chaibman suggested that the honourable member should move ! with putty. This would exclude the strong glare, but preserve the
his chair a little. \ light.
Mr. Jones had two objections to that course. First, it was a
temporising policy, for it was notorious that the sun moved, and
would be a little further presently, and then he should have to move
again; and secondly, the Chairman had no right whatever to desire
him to remove from a place in which he had umbly endeavoured to
do his duty.
Mr. Diffanger said that it was hardly fair to expect the Chairman
Mr. Bobinson thought that was a putty good notion. {Roars of
laughter.)
Mb. Jones approved of the plan, but reminded the Board that the
room did not belong to them, but to the Corporation of London,
und therefore the putty would become a landlord's fixture.
The Chaibman thought that might be arranged by valuation, or
otherwise, and respectfully advised the meeting to agree to this plan.
to prevent ihe sun from shining. As to its moving, the honourable i The putty was agreed to with one dissentient voice, which bawled
member had better ask one of his little boys about that
Mr. Jones had no little boys. But as to the sun not moving, the
honourable member must be a most ignorant person, and also an
irreligious one, to deny that. Why, at the examination of their Charity
Schools last week, he had heard a girl say something out of Da.
Watts about the sun standing still upon some occasion, which proved
that, upon other occasions it must move.
The Chaibman begged that the Board would abstain from any theo-
logical controversy, and go on with business.
Me. Jones was not going to discuss business with the sun in his
eyes.
Mb. F. Dotjlton, to save time, would move that the blind be
drawn down.
Mr. Lobscouse and other members opposed this, declaring that they
wanted all the light that was to be had.
After some discussion a division was taken, when the motion for
pulling down the blind was carried by 15 to 11.
The Beadle being instructed, in pursuance of the resolution, to pril
■iown the blind, stated that there was not one.
"transparency," and the Board, the usual hour of breaking up having
arrived, separated. We congratulate the public on the progress which
is being made in the cleansing our noble rivsr.
Historical Parallels.
An intelligent Constable, of the Q division, upon hearing a gentleman
of large historical reading say, that the Duke of Wellington men-
tioned the word " Duty" in all his despatches, but never introduced,
the word "Glory" once, was so moved that he could not help ex-
claiming, "By Jove, that's precisely the case with the despatches we
receive from Scotland Yard! There's a precious deal about 'Duty,
but not a blessed word about t' other thing."
Heaven Bokn Smugglees.—Women. To avoid payicg duty, is,
with most women when they travel, a custom infinitely more honoured
in the breach than in the observance."
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
89
IMMENSE PROGRESS IN CHINA.
he Chinese negotiators
^VjV^ with Lobd Elgin and
| Bakon Gbos, have a-
doptcd (as we are in-
formed by the Times cor-
respondent) the word
" Plenipotentiary " into
the language of the
Flowery Land. Consid-
ering that the Chinese
tongue is without any
equivalent for "lie,"
" honour," or " friend-
ship," it ought to be
the diplomatic language
par excellence; and it
would indeed be de-
plorable were it to re-
main without so long
a word, with so little
meaning, as the re-
spectable polysyllable
iu question, which, no
doubt, by this time,
drags its slow length
along in a series of
gridiron-like monosylla-
bles, as long as a coolie's
cash-string, a Manda-
rin's pig tail, or even the negotiations of Ti-en-si themselves.
THE SCENTRAL BOARD.
Mr. Robinson moved that the shutters be closed, and this propo-
sition being resisted, the Board was about again to divide when the
Chairman pointed out that there were no shutters.
Mb. Wickings moved, that it be an instruction to the Chairman to
order a blind to be made and fixed before their next meeting.
Mb. Doulton moved that it be a Venetian blind.
Mb. Jones opposed this. Venus was a heathen god, and they had
nothing to do with hiin there.
Mr. Doulton explained.
Mr. Jones said that made matters worse. He had read that
Venice was a hollowgarchy, and they wanted nothing of that kind in
London. He moved for plain brown Holland, pure and simple, and
on a roller with a spring. He had one in his back shop, and it
worked uncommon well.
Mb. Bobinson was an enemy to extravagance, but he thought a
mere Holland blind was rather beneath the dignity of that Board.
{Applause.) He proposed that a blind should be painted with the
arms of the Board in transparency.
Mb. Brown was afraid the Board was seen through quite enough
already. {Murmurs.")
The Chaibman proposed a middle course. He had seen very good
blinds in Tottenham Court Boad, made of Holland, but painted with
horizontal stripes in green, to represent Venetian blinds. He did not
speak from positive information, but had reason to think that an
estimate of one-and-ninepence for such a blind could not be appre-
ciably exceeded.
Mb. Wickjngs said that he would be no party to a sham. He had
read Mb. Buskin's book, and, though he would not have the presump-
tion to say he understood it, he had gained some knowledge of truth in
art. The blind ought to be conscientious.
The Chaibman had no objection, but did not see how conscience
was to be got into a blind. Perhaps, as the sun had now gone in-
Mb. Diffangeb. As clouds interpose between the luminary and
this our earth.
The Chairman. Very right. The honourable member, being no
longer inconvenienced, would be willing to proceed with business ?
Mr. Jones would do nothing of the kind. The sun might come out
again, and then they would have to renew their discussion.
Mr. F. Dotjlton offered to lend the honourable member an umbrella,
to be used in the light of a parasol, if necessary. {Applause.)
Mb. Jones was not reduced to that strait that if he wanted an
umbrellas or parasols either, or a pair o' soles, for the matter of that
{laughter), he need be beholden to another party. He had money
enough, thank Providence, to buy what he wanted. He stood upon a
The Scentral Board met again on Saturday last for the purpose of
purifying the Bivcr Thames, and prosecuted their labours with an
ardour which gives every assurance that before long the cleansing of
ibe stream will be completely effected.
Mb. Thwaites, on taking the chair (which he remarked, with a
sniile, had this time been carefully dusted) said that the weather was
changing again. It was beginning to rain, and he thought they would ! question of principle
nave a wet afternoon. The Chaibman said that Mr. Wickings had moved that a blind be
Mr. Wicktngs had no objection to the Chairman's making mytho- put up. Mr. Dotjlton bad proposed to insert the word "Venetian,"
logical remarks promiscuously, but he should oppose their being , and Mb. Jones had moved an amendment for substituting " Holland."
entered on the minutes. Would he withdraw that amendment ?
Mb. Diffangeb supposed that the honourable member meant; Mb. Jones would see the Board blessed first, and then he wouldn't,
meteorological, not mythological. t The Board divided on the amendment, which was negatived by
Mb. Wickings demanded what was the odds, so long as the 19 to 7.
honourable member was happy ? _ Mb. Doulton, to save time, would suggest that the matter be left
The Chaibman said that they would now proceed to business. The j to the discretion of the Chairman, who, ne was sure, would endeavour
Legislature had invested them— to meet the views of all parties.
Me. Jones begged to interpose. The sun had come out, and was ! Mb. Lobscouse would throw out another suggestion. Suppose
shining through the window right bang into his eye. [ they did not have a blind at all, but had the window dabbed all over
The Chaibman suggested that the honourable member should move ! with putty. This would exclude the strong glare, but preserve the
his chair a little. \ light.
Mr. Jones had two objections to that course. First, it was a
temporising policy, for it was notorious that the sun moved, and
would be a little further presently, and then he should have to move
again; and secondly, the Chairman had no right whatever to desire
him to remove from a place in which he had umbly endeavoured to
do his duty.
Mr. Diffanger said that it was hardly fair to expect the Chairman
Mr. Bobinson thought that was a putty good notion. {Roars of
laughter.)
Mb. Jones approved of the plan, but reminded the Board that the
room did not belong to them, but to the Corporation of London,
und therefore the putty would become a landlord's fixture.
The Chaibman thought that might be arranged by valuation, or
otherwise, and respectfully advised the meeting to agree to this plan.
to prevent ihe sun from shining. As to its moving, the honourable i The putty was agreed to with one dissentient voice, which bawled
member had better ask one of his little boys about that
Mr. Jones had no little boys. But as to the sun not moving, the
honourable member must be a most ignorant person, and also an
irreligious one, to deny that. Why, at the examination of their Charity
Schools last week, he had heard a girl say something out of Da.
Watts about the sun standing still upon some occasion, which proved
that, upon other occasions it must move.
The Chaibman begged that the Board would abstain from any theo-
logical controversy, and go on with business.
Me. Jones was not going to discuss business with the sun in his
eyes.
Mb. F. Dotjlton, to save time, would move that the blind be
drawn down.
Mr. Lobscouse and other members opposed this, declaring that they
wanted all the light that was to be had.
After some discussion a division was taken, when the motion for
pulling down the blind was carried by 15 to 11.
The Beadle being instructed, in pursuance of the resolution, to pril
■iown the blind, stated that there was not one.
"transparency," and the Board, the usual hour of breaking up having
arrived, separated. We congratulate the public on the progress which
is being made in the cleansing our noble rivsr.
Historical Parallels.
An intelligent Constable, of the Q division, upon hearing a gentleman
of large historical reading say, that the Duke of Wellington men-
tioned the word " Duty" in all his despatches, but never introduced,
the word "Glory" once, was so moved that he could not help ex-
claiming, "By Jove, that's precisely the case with the despatches we
receive from Scotland Yard! There's a precious deal about 'Duty,
but not a blessed word about t' other thing."
Heaven Bokn Smugglees.—Women. To avoid payicg duty, is,
with most women when they travel, a custom infinitely more honoured
in the breach than in the observance."