Punch (35.1858)

September 4, 1858. PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI 101

THE RECOIL OF THE SEASON

A CABMAN'S CONSCIENCE-MONEY.

ebe we sit, within our Of- We have often had occasion to comment on the injudicious
flee; where it is, I shall
not say—
But from Downing Street,

scrupulousness which occasions certain persons of delicate but un
thinking morality, to send conscience-money to the Chancellor of
the Exchequer. We have endeavoured to point out that, by such
I '11 own, it's not a hun- ■, immoderate acts of unenlightened and undiscerning honesty, Govern-
dred miles away. | ment *s encouraged to leave taxation in its present unequal state,

Here we sit—Fitzfluke an4 to postpone the due adjustment of fiscal burdens. Of an act
and Quaver, Montmo- of iusfc ana intelligent reparation, however, we shall ever speak in

terms of the highest praise that we can employ. Such an act was
recorded the other day in the Times. The magistrate at one of the
Police Offices, received for the Poor's Box some odd shillings from
a Cabman, for overcharge on a fare. Now, this is sensible healthy
honesty, not the delirious excess of a morbid conscience. The Cabman
is evidently one of Nature's noblemen, and we wish he drove a
four-in-hand for pleasure, instead of a one-horse public conveyance
for hire. As a nobleman, he ought to have armorial bearings; in
which, two bob argent might be combined, according to art, with
square and compass proper, we will not say on a field vert, not only
because that might involve bad blazonry, but because it would be
"sportsmen, who, in ioacf- Daa symbolism: it is only the senders of conscience-money to
ing of their guns, i Government that betray verdure. The motto of the noble Cabman

Not familiar with the man- migQt De> "Pare and Above Board," or "Hansom is that Handsome
ner in the which the does." Some such a coat-of-arms as this ought to be awarded to
powder runs him, gratuitously, by the Herald's College; and he should be licensed

From the flask, o'erload to wear it instead of a badge.
'^^M$¥M///l/W/fff0>Hi'" their pieces, till so fright- Let us add, that the gratifying circumstance, on which we have

ful the recoil, ^ called upon to make the above comments, is an illustration of the

That it lays them sadly sprawling in the stubbles on the soil. general rise in character which has lately become apparent among

Yes Fitzfltjke and Blades and Quaver, we confess it, one and all, ! Cabmen. W e were not wanting to touch this class of public servants
We the season overloaded: Pratt's and Greenwich; rout and ball; j UP> we may venture to say, on the raw, at a time when they were

rency Blades, and I-
Very limp and very languid,
sipping bitters on the
sly.

And we look back on the

season, as our leave-time

isn't come, >
And our social views are

bitter, and our language

grave and glum.
And we feel like Cockney

Double-barrelled Operas going; Matine'es six nights a-week—
Marvel not if we look sallow, limp and languid, wan and weak.
Many a morning we have seen the sun rise o'er against Cremorue;
Many a morning down the area have we seen the milk-cans borne;
Many a morning from our door-sills have we scared the wakeful cat;
Found the rush-light in the socket, burnt out on the passage mat!

notorious for brutality and extortion. It is with no little complacency
that we now often see them devoting their leisure time on their
boxes to the perusal of this periodical, a practice which we have not
the least doubt has occasioned their remarkable reformation.

Yes, our season we o'erloaded, and just now we feel the kick; ERIN GO BRAY I

And our eyes are sunk and sodden, and of pleasure we are sick. xvrL x '

Sick of operas, sick of concerts, sick of dinners, sick of drums,

A Pleasant display of warm-hearted Irish feeling lately occurred at

Sick of Office-horns, and labour sick for leave that slowly comes. Dublin, where Piccolommi has been singing at the Theatre Royal.
Oh, what boots it thee, my Quaver, that thou hadst two Opera The Diibim boys performed a graceful act of homage towards that
stalls. .„__„,„„„. „ , ,r ,, 0 interesting little warbler. According to the Freeman's Journal, the

What remains of IlBalen" Beviam" and other Verdi squalls ( , otner evening
Tired you are of Traviata, tired of Trovatore too ;
Triply tired of Rigoletto, heard and reheard through and through.
What to you, Fitzfluke the Punter, what of good from Pratt's

remains I when the horses were unyoked from the pole in a twinkling; about a hundred

Of your Canons off the cushion, of your losses, of your gains ? 1 y°UD,g piemen collected round the carriage and drew it at a rapid pace to the

vcri. l \ t) * l j j- u i j AfniTm-ir^^xinv "Br.*-,™ Gresharn Hotel, followed by an immense crowd cheering heartily all the way.

What have Richmond dinners brought you, Montmorency blades, .

my friend, Now, herein the Dublin boys manifested an instinct of a truly noble

What Trafalgar whitebait parties, and pink bonnets without end? kind, its nobility being precisely that which we recognise in that noble

" On her issuing from the stage-door, and entering her carriage, the cheering of
the assemblage became most vehement and enthusiastic. The fair donna smilingly
acknowledged the compliment paid her. But she was hardly seated in the vehicle

And, for me, that, like my fellows, strove to cram four months in one—
Eating, drinking, dancing, flirting, still from set to rise of Sun—
What remains but indigestion, shaky hand, and sodden eye,
Ticks in plenty, ready money inconveniently shy ?
Constant thirst for Brighton Seltzer, and for bitters sharp and

animal the horse. But, as in the case of that quadruped, might not
the ennobling alacrity to draw a vehicle be utilized? Might not
Mdlle. Piccolomini, at least so long as she remains in Dublin, be
enabled to dispense with the hire of horses by availing herself of the
gratuitous services of young gentlemen ? They, doubtless, would only

strong, ! be too happy to place themselves at her disposal, and give her the

And the sense that life is hollow, and that Office-hours are long !

Parliamentary Question.

Among other interesting particulars of Foreign Intelligence we find
it announced that—

" Tor/3SouN Pacha, the only son of the Pasha of Egypt, is expected in Paris from
Prussia, where he at present is."

Punch presents his compliments to Mr. Besnal Osborne, M.P.,
and begs to know whether the Hon. Member for Dover does not hope
that Toussoun Pacha will not arrive too late ? {Cries of oh! oh !)

benefit of the power and the inclination which Nature has implanted
in their minds and bodies. Thus she might ride about wherever she
pleased, in triumph and for nothing. What would the sprightly young
vocalist think of a trip to Killarney and back again in a carriage drawn
by Irish quadrupeds, or horses on two legs: young gentlemen of
Dublin ? They could cost her nothing but their keep, and would
probably find themselves in food, which of course would consist of the
verdure of green Erin. Even were there turnpikes in her way, she
would get the expense of tolls reduced to the lowest denomination;
for though we have, with our usual delicacy, called her cattle Dish
horses, they would never be mistaken for horses by the toll-takers, and
would assuredly be charged for at the smaller rates which are levied
on humbler animals, They would be peifectly safe, though perhaps
you could not exactly warrant them to go quiet in harness, as they
Sunday Closing. would probably make a great noise, the nature of which is suggested

. _ ,. . , ,, by the title prefixed to these observations.

1he Bishops intend, next Session, agitating most vigorously the
question of closing all shell-fish shops on the Sabbath. Lord Robert j ==========-

Grosvenor Ebury (late Liberal M.P. for Middlesex) joins the epis- H Make a Lady Stick out her Little Finger.

c<>pal phalanx. He is particularly opposed to the opening, of as much s

as an oyster even on the Sunday. The best way of securing this effect is to put on the finger in question

- a handsome diamond ring. The mere desire to display the diamond to

the best advantage, is sure to make the lady stick out her little finger
a conundrum. | ^ ^ mQst CQarmiug. manner possible. When the effect begins to

Why is the reader like a newly-footed pair of boots P ! fail, substitute another ring of greater brilliancy. Success must attend

Fcr answer, see next page. ' these repeated efforts.

Vol. 35.

4