DOI issue:
November 6, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16622#0191
184
[November b, 1&58.
The Quaker, disgusted at the adoption of his Hat ly the World at large,
designs a neiv one he thinks icill defy competition.
SALVE FOR A KEIGHLEY SURGEON.
When a respectable medical man writes a nonsensical puff, and
allows it to be published, with his signature subjoined to it, by a quack
advertiser, those who know him, and know him to be incapable of
writing it in the seriousness of humbug or ignorance, see that he wrote
it in joke. But to others, who have not the honour of his acquaintance,
his studied nonsense is simply nonstnse, and his name, for aught they
can tell, a myth. The respectable medical man, therefore, at Keighley,
in Yorkshire, whose name happens to be the same as that of the author
of a ridiculous testimonial, grossly misprinted, on which we commented
the other day, has really no reason to feel aggrieved by our rtmarks,
as we hear t hat he does. They cannot prejudice him with his friends,
who, if he wrote that testimonial, are in his secret; and those who are
strangers to him will apply them to nobody in particular.
We cannot but sympathise with any one who plays a good-humoured
trick : especially one who palms off a hoax on a puffing quack. It may
as well, however, be remembered, that such a joke at the expense of a
quack becomes also, on the quack's part, a joke at the expense of the
customers whom it procures for him.
MUNICIPAL PLUMAGE OF MELEOURNE.
The Mat cm oe Birmingham: gave a dinner the other day to the
Mayor of Melbourne. The antipodal Mayor, in his speech after
dinner, made the following confession:—
"We have in Melbourne a full-fledged Corporation—Mayor, Aldermen, and
Councillors."
Are, then, Mayors and Aldermen on the other side of our planet so
exactly like those that inhabit this ? Full-fledged—are they ? we should
never have thought so if the Mayor of Melbourne had not said so.
Full-fledged—humph!—and do their fellow-citizens make their quill
leathers into pens ?
liberty and equality.
France engaged in the Slave Trade ? Nonsense! The emigrants
whom French vessels convey from the coast of Africa are as free as
our Allies themselves.
A TREMENDOUS BAG.
Miss Lucy Smith went out shopping the other day, and brought
home with her a most tremendous bag. It was so heavy, that, it was
as much as the Page could do to bring it into the parlour to be
inspected by the ladies. Upon its contents being emptied on to the
dining-room table, it was found to contain:—a bottle of Kiss-me-
Quick, a pair of white satin shoes, a bulky packet of gloves (cleaned),
a dozen rolls of cotton, a paper of pearl buttons (to mend Papa's
shirts), a box of cough lozenges, a bundle of violet-powder, a kettle-
holder, ten yards of blue ribbon, a pack of club cards, a pair of
American overshoes, a pot of bear's grease, a pound of jujubes, a
velvet necktie, three cambric pocket-handkerchiefs with " Lucy '*
embroidered in gay flowers in the corner, a pair of mittens, a small tin
can supposed to contain acidulated drops, beads and long pins and
gold daggers and imitation coins for the hair, fifteen yards of the best
long cloth, a bundle of brushes and small jars of gum for potichornanie
work, small curling-irons, several small pots containing perfumes
and mysterious volatile essences for the toilette-table, numerous papers
of different varieties of Berlin wool with coloured pattern of Brigand
for the same, two ounces of shot to sew round the bottom of one's
dress, seven yards of edging for night-caps, a set of doll's tea-things,
two packages of bird-seed for the canary, a bath bun, one Convent Cell,
and Two Fond Hearts, with. Ten Thousand a Year. Besides the above,
there was concealed inside the long cloth a yellow book, that looked
suspiciously like a French novel; but, as it was hastily snatched up by
Miss Lucy, it is perfectly impossible to mention the name of it.
Miss Smith was not a little pleased with the results of her day's sport,
having brought down every one of the articles enumerated in the bag
herself in the space of little more than four hours and a quarter.
It must be mentioned, however, that the lady in question is a practised
hand at shopping, having been often taken out by her respected
Mamma, when she was not much more than five years' old, for a day's
run amongst the most carefully preserved shops in the Metropolis, on
which occasions the little thing was allowed the happy privilege of
carrying the bag.
MICHAELMAS TERM.
a vision of 1st november, 1858.
O'er the First day of November the night had drawn her pall,
And dark and heavy hung the gloom in Westminster's old Hal),
In rusty worn habiliments, unshaven and unshorn,
Two shadowy figures stalked the floor with countenance forlorn.
They passed the Queen's Bench Court, they left the Exchequer at its
ease,
But they paused before the doors that guard the Court of Common
Fleas,
And whilst they stood upon the steps, was held discourse of wnr,
'Twixt those old Twin-brothers of the Law, John Doe and Richard
Roe.
" Brother," quoth one, " The good old days are gone when you and I
In yonder Court were often named, and held position high ;
When none could bring ejectment save with aid of you and me,
And many a lawyer blessed us as he pocketed his fee !"
" To-morrow," said the other, "opes the Term of Michaelmas,
(Of old how dear to us the name of animarum eras !)
Shall we stand and watch the Chancellor and the rest of lawyer race,
And take a sight (unseen) at them, at the purse, and at the mace.
"Richaed!" said John, "I could not bear that these ghost-eyea
should gaze
On men who are identified with these degenerate days,
Who all the ancient quips and cranks of Law and Pleading spurned,
And as casual ejectors have themselves against us turned."
Said Richard, "Hie we to the East of London, there we'll find
A home in Doctors' Commons Court that fifs our frame of mind ;
With other Ghosts of olden Law we shall have goodly sport,
We'll try ejectments every night, and set the times at naught."
Chables Silyerwit was staying at the country house of his sister-
in-law, Lady Crawley, who has a charming and beautiful sheet of
water before her house. Silverwit and a young lady were looking at
the still lake, in which the trees were reflected, when the latter said that
the scene reminded her of Scotland. At this moment Lady Crawley
came out, followed by the Beadle of the neighbouring church. "It
reminds me of the land of Scott," said Charles; "for there is the
Lady of the Lake talking to the Lord of the Aisles."—From Punch's
Literary Anecdotes. ,
[November b, 1&58.
The Quaker, disgusted at the adoption of his Hat ly the World at large,
designs a neiv one he thinks icill defy competition.
SALVE FOR A KEIGHLEY SURGEON.
When a respectable medical man writes a nonsensical puff, and
allows it to be published, with his signature subjoined to it, by a quack
advertiser, those who know him, and know him to be incapable of
writing it in the seriousness of humbug or ignorance, see that he wrote
it in joke. But to others, who have not the honour of his acquaintance,
his studied nonsense is simply nonstnse, and his name, for aught they
can tell, a myth. The respectable medical man, therefore, at Keighley,
in Yorkshire, whose name happens to be the same as that of the author
of a ridiculous testimonial, grossly misprinted, on which we commented
the other day, has really no reason to feel aggrieved by our rtmarks,
as we hear t hat he does. They cannot prejudice him with his friends,
who, if he wrote that testimonial, are in his secret; and those who are
strangers to him will apply them to nobody in particular.
We cannot but sympathise with any one who plays a good-humoured
trick : especially one who palms off a hoax on a puffing quack. It may
as well, however, be remembered, that such a joke at the expense of a
quack becomes also, on the quack's part, a joke at the expense of the
customers whom it procures for him.
MUNICIPAL PLUMAGE OF MELEOURNE.
The Mat cm oe Birmingham: gave a dinner the other day to the
Mayor of Melbourne. The antipodal Mayor, in his speech after
dinner, made the following confession:—
"We have in Melbourne a full-fledged Corporation—Mayor, Aldermen, and
Councillors."
Are, then, Mayors and Aldermen on the other side of our planet so
exactly like those that inhabit this ? Full-fledged—are they ? we should
never have thought so if the Mayor of Melbourne had not said so.
Full-fledged—humph!—and do their fellow-citizens make their quill
leathers into pens ?
liberty and equality.
France engaged in the Slave Trade ? Nonsense! The emigrants
whom French vessels convey from the coast of Africa are as free as
our Allies themselves.
A TREMENDOUS BAG.
Miss Lucy Smith went out shopping the other day, and brought
home with her a most tremendous bag. It was so heavy, that, it was
as much as the Page could do to bring it into the parlour to be
inspected by the ladies. Upon its contents being emptied on to the
dining-room table, it was found to contain:—a bottle of Kiss-me-
Quick, a pair of white satin shoes, a bulky packet of gloves (cleaned),
a dozen rolls of cotton, a paper of pearl buttons (to mend Papa's
shirts), a box of cough lozenges, a bundle of violet-powder, a kettle-
holder, ten yards of blue ribbon, a pack of club cards, a pair of
American overshoes, a pot of bear's grease, a pound of jujubes, a
velvet necktie, three cambric pocket-handkerchiefs with " Lucy '*
embroidered in gay flowers in the corner, a pair of mittens, a small tin
can supposed to contain acidulated drops, beads and long pins and
gold daggers and imitation coins for the hair, fifteen yards of the best
long cloth, a bundle of brushes and small jars of gum for potichornanie
work, small curling-irons, several small pots containing perfumes
and mysterious volatile essences for the toilette-table, numerous papers
of different varieties of Berlin wool with coloured pattern of Brigand
for the same, two ounces of shot to sew round the bottom of one's
dress, seven yards of edging for night-caps, a set of doll's tea-things,
two packages of bird-seed for the canary, a bath bun, one Convent Cell,
and Two Fond Hearts, with. Ten Thousand a Year. Besides the above,
there was concealed inside the long cloth a yellow book, that looked
suspiciously like a French novel; but, as it was hastily snatched up by
Miss Lucy, it is perfectly impossible to mention the name of it.
Miss Smith was not a little pleased with the results of her day's sport,
having brought down every one of the articles enumerated in the bag
herself in the space of little more than four hours and a quarter.
It must be mentioned, however, that the lady in question is a practised
hand at shopping, having been often taken out by her respected
Mamma, when she was not much more than five years' old, for a day's
run amongst the most carefully preserved shops in the Metropolis, on
which occasions the little thing was allowed the happy privilege of
carrying the bag.
MICHAELMAS TERM.
a vision of 1st november, 1858.
O'er the First day of November the night had drawn her pall,
And dark and heavy hung the gloom in Westminster's old Hal),
In rusty worn habiliments, unshaven and unshorn,
Two shadowy figures stalked the floor with countenance forlorn.
They passed the Queen's Bench Court, they left the Exchequer at its
ease,
But they paused before the doors that guard the Court of Common
Fleas,
And whilst they stood upon the steps, was held discourse of wnr,
'Twixt those old Twin-brothers of the Law, John Doe and Richard
Roe.
" Brother," quoth one, " The good old days are gone when you and I
In yonder Court were often named, and held position high ;
When none could bring ejectment save with aid of you and me,
And many a lawyer blessed us as he pocketed his fee !"
" To-morrow," said the other, "opes the Term of Michaelmas,
(Of old how dear to us the name of animarum eras !)
Shall we stand and watch the Chancellor and the rest of lawyer race,
And take a sight (unseen) at them, at the purse, and at the mace.
"Richaed!" said John, "I could not bear that these ghost-eyea
should gaze
On men who are identified with these degenerate days,
Who all the ancient quips and cranks of Law and Pleading spurned,
And as casual ejectors have themselves against us turned."
Said Richard, "Hie we to the East of London, there we'll find
A home in Doctors' Commons Court that fifs our frame of mind ;
With other Ghosts of olden Law we shall have goodly sport,
We'll try ejectments every night, and set the times at naught."
Chables Silyerwit was staying at the country house of his sister-
in-law, Lady Crawley, who has a charming and beautiful sheet of
water before her house. Silverwit and a young lady were looking at
the still lake, in which the trees were reflected, when the latter said that
the scene reminded her of Scotland. At this moment Lady Crawley
came out, followed by the Beadle of the neighbouring church. "It
reminds me of the land of Scott," said Charles; "for there is the
Lady of the Lake talking to the Lord of the Aisles."—From Punch's
Literary Anecdotes. ,