DOI Heft:
January 22, 1859
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16623#0041
January 22, 1859. J
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
33
AWFUL LANGUAGE BY LOED CAMPBELL.
May it please your Lordship,
As one who entertains a profound veneration for the world,
and especially for that part of it specifically called Society, I cannot
tell you how greatly I was shocked by the following passage of the
opinion lately pronounced by your Lordship on the motion for a new
trial in the case of Marchmont v. Marchmont :—
" The wife was by no means free from blame, and she appeared to have been a
very low, vulgar woman, of very disreputable character. But what was the conduct
of the husband? It was most sordid, oase, and disgraceful, from the beginning of
bis connection with the woman up to the very hour when the Court was called upon
to pronounce its decree. He had been attracted merely by her. money, and by the
chance, not merely of having the enjoyment of it during her life, but, she being
considerably older than himself, of enjoying the greater portion of it after her death.
He appeared to have nothing in contemplation except to avail himself of the wealth
which, had seduced him into this discreditable connection."
My Lord, these observations are very painful. I use the word
advisedly, because it is a favourite.word with a class of people who are
favourites of mine. It expresses the sensation which we feel when we
hear the conduct of those with whom we sympathise condemned in
strong language. The authority with which a Lord Chief Justice
speaks augments the painfulness of his censure. Your Lordship
describes the conduct of Mr. Marchmont " as most sordid, base, and
disgraceful, from the beginning of his connection" with the party
whom he married. And then you say that, "he had been attracted
merely by her money." Pray consider, my Lord, to how many persons
of the highest respectability you thus apply the epithets sordid, base,
and disgraceful. You hurl them at the head of every individual in
Society—Society with a capital S. Nobody in Society contracts a
matrimonial alliance without an earnest regard to pecuniary consider- j
ations. People marry for love only in novels, and among the inferior
classes. Parties who are living in the best situations, and moving in |
the most select circles, must have blushed in reading your Lordship's j
severe remarks on those marriages which alone are dictated by pru-
dence, and applauded by gentility. How many a fond parent's heart—
the heart of a Mamma with grown-up daughters—must your observa-
tions have wounded, at the same time poisoning the correctly educated
minds of her children!
Does not the law, which it is your high office to administer, actually
award compensation for the pecuniary disappointment involved in a
! rupture of a hymenseal engagement ? Do not British juries, inspired
by the honest eloquence of an impassioned barrister, award heavy
damages to a young lady for a contract broken with an elderly gen-
tleman whom she was going to marry with precisely those affections
and expectations which your Lordship so dyslogistically ascribes to
Mr. Marchmont ? But you, my Lord, are a Law Reformer, and
now that you have denounced the principles by which, with respect to
I the conjugal relation, Society is regulated, I shall not wonder if you
proceed to tamper with those legal sanctions which they receive from
the time-honoured institutions of your country; and that the next I
thing you will do will be to propose some modification of the law con- >
cerning breach of promise of marriage. I trust in thus addressing your
Lordship, I have avoided any violation of that decorum which is
esteemed above all the virtues by your Lordship's most obedient
humble flunkev,
THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS.
Subjoined is a touching specimen of the poetry which under the
form of an advertisement occasionally appears m the second column of
the Times:—
TO HER WHO CAN UNDERSTAND.—Let the flower not droop.
It must know tnat the other flower does sympathise with it. A reply sent to
your lines was by some mistake not duly inserted. There will be no delay now,
and all may yet be right.
Curiosity may desire to penetrate the mystery of these advertising
flowers, and pluck out the heart of it. Though this may not be quite
practicable, an industrious bee may perhaps succeed in extracting a
little of then- honey, or a diligent grub might manage to worm out a
few of their secrets.
There are three flowers in the case. Two of these are female, and
one is male. Drooping flowers of the female sex do not expect flowers
of their own sex to sympathise with them. The sympathetic flowers
may be presumed to be of the kind which, in the language of botany,
I are called dioecious—far, far away from each other. The first flower is
. the person addressed; the other is her lover; the third flower is the
authoress of the advertisement, who calls men and women flowers, and
would describe herself as a flower. She is the common friend of the
other two flowers. Call her Rose. The interpretation of her adver-
tisement is probably something like this. She, Rose, means to tell
i her who can understand—say the intelligent Violet—not to be down
in the mouth, as she may be sure tiiat the other flower, whom, for
inability to think of any mascidine floral name, we will call Bell, and
of whom she is enamoured, returns her passion. In conformity with
this view, it must of course be supposed that the advertiser addresses
her friend, first in the third person, and lastly in the second, a
peculiarity conclusive as to epistolary gender.
THE RING.
{From Bell's Life.)
The Derby Slasher and the Birmingham Smashes. A final
meeting was announced for Bradford, on Monday, when the Smasher
was present, attended by a large gathering of friends, but the Slasher
did not show. There is no gammon, however, we beheve, in the matter,
as the Slasher must either fight, or resign the Champion's belt.
Peel's Bobby is wdling to make a match with Old Pam, if Pam is
good for anything but chaff.
Penality Jack has received various challenges, but would like to
see how one or two men come up to the scratch, before he makes
articles. He flatters himself that he has a novelty to open some folks'
eyes. Apply at the Bedford Arms.
Bill Merrypebble is coming up from the South, and will be
found too far North for some who expected he would be scarce. The
report that he was Corfu-lent is unfounded.
The "Wycount has called upon us to complain of Cox of Finsbury,
who goes_ about bragging that he knows a thing or two more than the
Y. We insert his complaint; but must confess, we don't see much
brag in Cox's allegation. Parr nobbley fratrum.
[ Advertisement. ]
TDEFORE YOU HAVE YOUR LIKENESS TAKEN, you will do
J ' well to become a purchaser of Punch. Punch is the infalhblest of all infallible
specifics for adding personal attractions to those who are in want of them. It
beautifies, embellishes, and bloomifies the face, and gives dignity and grace of
deportment to the figure. Its effect upon the countenance is magical and instan-
taneous. A single application will make permanently handsome the ugliest of
mugs. Of all advertised cosmetics Punch is the most cosmetical. It removes
wrinkles, scowls, sneers, leers, and pimples ; and implants the bloom of beauty on
complexions the most tallow-like. Furrows ploughed by Time are instantly effaced
by it, as are the marks of crows' feet which Black Care has imprinted.
Pwach is also an unfailing corrective of acidity, and engrafts the sweetest smile
upon the sourest of visages. It cures defective vision, obliterates the hue of verdure ;
in the eye, and enables the short-sighted to see with perfect clearness into the
middle of the literary, the social, and the political next week. It may likewise ba
relied on for removing mental squints, and preventing men from taking one-sided
views of things. By the cheerfulness it stimulates, Old Age is deferred, and Grey
Hairs are prevented. Beings the most bilious and the most blighted will find
comfort in it. One joke will relieve—one Volume will cure them. In short, such
are the restorative properties of Punch, that good health and good looks are equally
ensured by it. Those who take it regularly will be as well secured from sickness as
from wearing a wig.
Sold (in numbers) fresh made every Wednesday, price only Threepence ; or Four-
pence when impressed with a Government Stamp.
A'.jJ. Bticare of Spurious Imitations.
PORTRAIT OF A GENTLEMAN
Before and After
Taking a Six Months' Course of Punch.
Hint to an Old Party.
How should you know that you are fat,
How should you know that you are grey.
How should you, too, be certain that
You're old, and age-ing every day?-
Say, do young ladies glance askew, _
Speak'low and quick, or drop their eyes r
Or do they frankly look at you
Chat, smile, shake hands ? Old Goose, be ,nse.
The Ladies' Plague.—"Burn the Crmoline!" "Yes, my dea^
'tis all very well to say, burn the Crboiine; but suppose you are in it?'
Vol. 30.
2
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
33
AWFUL LANGUAGE BY LOED CAMPBELL.
May it please your Lordship,
As one who entertains a profound veneration for the world,
and especially for that part of it specifically called Society, I cannot
tell you how greatly I was shocked by the following passage of the
opinion lately pronounced by your Lordship on the motion for a new
trial in the case of Marchmont v. Marchmont :—
" The wife was by no means free from blame, and she appeared to have been a
very low, vulgar woman, of very disreputable character. But what was the conduct
of the husband? It was most sordid, oase, and disgraceful, from the beginning of
bis connection with the woman up to the very hour when the Court was called upon
to pronounce its decree. He had been attracted merely by her. money, and by the
chance, not merely of having the enjoyment of it during her life, but, she being
considerably older than himself, of enjoying the greater portion of it after her death.
He appeared to have nothing in contemplation except to avail himself of the wealth
which, had seduced him into this discreditable connection."
My Lord, these observations are very painful. I use the word
advisedly, because it is a favourite.word with a class of people who are
favourites of mine. It expresses the sensation which we feel when we
hear the conduct of those with whom we sympathise condemned in
strong language. The authority with which a Lord Chief Justice
speaks augments the painfulness of his censure. Your Lordship
describes the conduct of Mr. Marchmont " as most sordid, base, and
disgraceful, from the beginning of his connection" with the party
whom he married. And then you say that, "he had been attracted
merely by her money." Pray consider, my Lord, to how many persons
of the highest respectability you thus apply the epithets sordid, base,
and disgraceful. You hurl them at the head of every individual in
Society—Society with a capital S. Nobody in Society contracts a
matrimonial alliance without an earnest regard to pecuniary consider- j
ations. People marry for love only in novels, and among the inferior
classes. Parties who are living in the best situations, and moving in |
the most select circles, must have blushed in reading your Lordship's j
severe remarks on those marriages which alone are dictated by pru-
dence, and applauded by gentility. How many a fond parent's heart—
the heart of a Mamma with grown-up daughters—must your observa-
tions have wounded, at the same time poisoning the correctly educated
minds of her children!
Does not the law, which it is your high office to administer, actually
award compensation for the pecuniary disappointment involved in a
! rupture of a hymenseal engagement ? Do not British juries, inspired
by the honest eloquence of an impassioned barrister, award heavy
damages to a young lady for a contract broken with an elderly gen-
tleman whom she was going to marry with precisely those affections
and expectations which your Lordship so dyslogistically ascribes to
Mr. Marchmont ? But you, my Lord, are a Law Reformer, and
now that you have denounced the principles by which, with respect to
I the conjugal relation, Society is regulated, I shall not wonder if you
proceed to tamper with those legal sanctions which they receive from
the time-honoured institutions of your country; and that the next I
thing you will do will be to propose some modification of the law con- >
cerning breach of promise of marriage. I trust in thus addressing your
Lordship, I have avoided any violation of that decorum which is
esteemed above all the virtues by your Lordship's most obedient
humble flunkev,
THE LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS.
Subjoined is a touching specimen of the poetry which under the
form of an advertisement occasionally appears m the second column of
the Times:—
TO HER WHO CAN UNDERSTAND.—Let the flower not droop.
It must know tnat the other flower does sympathise with it. A reply sent to
your lines was by some mistake not duly inserted. There will be no delay now,
and all may yet be right.
Curiosity may desire to penetrate the mystery of these advertising
flowers, and pluck out the heart of it. Though this may not be quite
practicable, an industrious bee may perhaps succeed in extracting a
little of then- honey, or a diligent grub might manage to worm out a
few of their secrets.
There are three flowers in the case. Two of these are female, and
one is male. Drooping flowers of the female sex do not expect flowers
of their own sex to sympathise with them. The sympathetic flowers
may be presumed to be of the kind which, in the language of botany,
I are called dioecious—far, far away from each other. The first flower is
. the person addressed; the other is her lover; the third flower is the
authoress of the advertisement, who calls men and women flowers, and
would describe herself as a flower. She is the common friend of the
other two flowers. Call her Rose. The interpretation of her adver-
tisement is probably something like this. She, Rose, means to tell
i her who can understand—say the intelligent Violet—not to be down
in the mouth, as she may be sure tiiat the other flower, whom, for
inability to think of any mascidine floral name, we will call Bell, and
of whom she is enamoured, returns her passion. In conformity with
this view, it must of course be supposed that the advertiser addresses
her friend, first in the third person, and lastly in the second, a
peculiarity conclusive as to epistolary gender.
THE RING.
{From Bell's Life.)
The Derby Slasher and the Birmingham Smashes. A final
meeting was announced for Bradford, on Monday, when the Smasher
was present, attended by a large gathering of friends, but the Slasher
did not show. There is no gammon, however, we beheve, in the matter,
as the Slasher must either fight, or resign the Champion's belt.
Peel's Bobby is wdling to make a match with Old Pam, if Pam is
good for anything but chaff.
Penality Jack has received various challenges, but would like to
see how one or two men come up to the scratch, before he makes
articles. He flatters himself that he has a novelty to open some folks'
eyes. Apply at the Bedford Arms.
Bill Merrypebble is coming up from the South, and will be
found too far North for some who expected he would be scarce. The
report that he was Corfu-lent is unfounded.
The "Wycount has called upon us to complain of Cox of Finsbury,
who goes_ about bragging that he knows a thing or two more than the
Y. We insert his complaint; but must confess, we don't see much
brag in Cox's allegation. Parr nobbley fratrum.
[ Advertisement. ]
TDEFORE YOU HAVE YOUR LIKENESS TAKEN, you will do
J ' well to become a purchaser of Punch. Punch is the infalhblest of all infallible
specifics for adding personal attractions to those who are in want of them. It
beautifies, embellishes, and bloomifies the face, and gives dignity and grace of
deportment to the figure. Its effect upon the countenance is magical and instan-
taneous. A single application will make permanently handsome the ugliest of
mugs. Of all advertised cosmetics Punch is the most cosmetical. It removes
wrinkles, scowls, sneers, leers, and pimples ; and implants the bloom of beauty on
complexions the most tallow-like. Furrows ploughed by Time are instantly effaced
by it, as are the marks of crows' feet which Black Care has imprinted.
Pwach is also an unfailing corrective of acidity, and engrafts the sweetest smile
upon the sourest of visages. It cures defective vision, obliterates the hue of verdure ;
in the eye, and enables the short-sighted to see with perfect clearness into the
middle of the literary, the social, and the political next week. It may likewise ba
relied on for removing mental squints, and preventing men from taking one-sided
views of things. By the cheerfulness it stimulates, Old Age is deferred, and Grey
Hairs are prevented. Beings the most bilious and the most blighted will find
comfort in it. One joke will relieve—one Volume will cure them. In short, such
are the restorative properties of Punch, that good health and good looks are equally
ensured by it. Those who take it regularly will be as well secured from sickness as
from wearing a wig.
Sold (in numbers) fresh made every Wednesday, price only Threepence ; or Four-
pence when impressed with a Government Stamp.
A'.jJ. Bticare of Spurious Imitations.
PORTRAIT OF A GENTLEMAN
Before and After
Taking a Six Months' Course of Punch.
Hint to an Old Party.
How should you know that you are fat,
How should you know that you are grey.
How should you, too, be certain that
You're old, and age-ing every day?-
Say, do young ladies glance askew, _
Speak'low and quick, or drop their eyes r
Or do they frankly look at you
Chat, smile, shake hands ? Old Goose, be ,nse.
The Ladies' Plague.—"Burn the Crmoline!" "Yes, my dea^
'tis all very well to say, burn the Crboiine; but suppose you are in it?'
Vol. 30.
2