Punch (48.1865)

60

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[February 11, 1865.

OUR PLAY BOX.

Mb. Punch’s Delight at Finding his Dear Old Puppets where he left

them in July.

PERFIDIOUS ENGLISH.

The French journal, Le Monde Artiste, is good enough to take the following
notice of us :—

“ Queen Victoria has resolved to confer the title of barronet on the Poet Lanwent, Alfred
Temysson.”

We were so grateful and pleased at reading this in a contemporary, that we
instantly sent over for Le Monde Artiste, and we have had much pleasure in trans-
lating, and have still more in publishing the rest of the paragraph:—

“ These distinctions are scarcely worthy a nation that boasts a Shakspire,
a Benjonsong, a Sheeley, and a Marting Twopair, and we infer, not without a
certain lively regret, that the democratic lessons of M. Brigth and M. Whit of
Brigton, have not taught our fat neighbours better things. Is it an honour to
carry as the supporters of your heraldic arms the two gory hands of Ulstar, the
Irish robber ? Would they hold Eeraday’s telescope firmer, or make steadier
the crucible of M. Airy? Would they guide better the pencil of Stansfeld,
M.P., or of Handel, the celebrated animal painter, of the royal Firth, of the
chivalrous Yard, of the powerful Meelay ? Would they lend what the English call
wiejour to the eloquent Glaldstones, or new subtlety to the epigrams of M.
Disralite ? Would they make the admirable Sim Reee a more admirable tenor,
or baritonalize more eminently the bold St. Lay, now in Spain? Would they
really adorn the shield of Dickons, or the lozenge of Madame Adam, the Venerable
Bede. Ah, no! Let us rather say with the wild exciseman of the Highlands,
‘ Hetman’s Human, for ctli that, and twixth as much as the stomp on the ginney.’ ”

“ AS THE OLD COCK CROWS, THE YOUNG
COCK LEARNS/'

While in the Lords Papa
Rests, and is thankful,

Or at the F. O. wastes
Ink by the tankful,

Lecturing Pruss and Russ,

Dane, Turk, and Hun, Sir—

Prattling away at Leeds,

Hark to “ my Son, Sir! ”

Huzzaed by rough and tough,

Chartist and coster,

Petted by Baines and Co.,

Patted by Foster.

Not Bright at Birmingham
More democratic;

Not Leatham emptier
Or more emphatic.

From the mob’s shoulders.

Cocky and clamberly.

Reaches to Parliament
Young Viscount Amberley :

Reform Bill the first
Russell’s Russells aye reckoned;

So a Russell arises
To father the Second.

Conceive Pa’s delight
When “ my Son ” mounts the hobby,
Whereon erst to glory
Pa rode from the lobby;

To see a new Russell,

With tongue like a clapper,

Puff the old “ Russell Purge ”

With a new stamp and wrapper!

The old cock crowed loud,

But the young cock crows louder—

A crow’s compass must swell,

The more noisy the crowd are;

Yet for Lords to throw dirt
On the Peerage too bad I call—

Lord Russell is Whig,

Viscount Amberley Radical;

Goes in for the masses,

Would trust to the millions
To tool their own drag
Without Peers for postilions :

Would sweep down distinctions
That help young Swells’ rising—

Which, considering his debt to them ’»

Rather surprising.

To your sire’s son the hint, p’rhaps,

May seem of the oddest;

But it is held a grace
In a youth to be modest;

Very small trees may grow
From very large seeds.

Though Reform be the plant,

And the Platform be Leeds.

THE ZOOLOGICAL SHAKSPEARE.

Dear Punch,

Shakspeare has been proved to have been almost everything. Do you
not think that at some period of his life, he was a keeper at the Zoological Gardens
of the time ? Else, where did he get his splendid knowledge of natural history ?
He must have known that in India the native princes tame the hunting-leopard and
use him for sport. For in Henry IV. Part II., Act ii., Scene 4, he makes Falstaff say,

“ He (Pistol) is no swaggerer, hostess. A tame Cheetah—you may stroke him as gently as a
puppy greyhound.’

How beautifully this describes our two animals whom the little boys love to
irritate by running up and down before the cages, and I wish they wouldn’t.

Regent’s Park.

Yours, respectfully,

A Keeper in the Gardens.

DECIDED INTERVENTION.

Those Manchester fellows are—we had nearly written a
Rum Lot, but we prefer to say are extremely eccentric.
One of them advertises thus :—

D17 ANTED, a WIFE, with £10,000 and a warm heart, by
V V a Widower of mature age, affectionate, and active in body and
mind.—Address, <fcc.

What does the affectionate beggar mean by mature age ?
Bother his active mind and body! We dare say he is a
horrid old fidgety bore. Besides, what has all his activity
been good for, if he wants money at his time of life ?
Warm heart ? Bosh!—cool ten thousand is what he is
thinking of. Let any lady who may think of answering him,
write to us first (if the £10,000 is all right), and we will put
her in the way of getting somebody better than this old
donkey.