Punch (54.1868)

January 18,

1868.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

23


OUR RAILWAY AT CHRISTMAS.

Time—Dusk.

Season-Ticket Holder. “What o’clock was that Struck? Five? Come on,
then. If we make haste, we may be in time for the 215! ”

A SONG BY AN OLD EOGY.

Air—“ I like to Sing the Old Songs! ”

I cannot sins the old songs.

For the fact is I’ve no voice ;

But could I sing, the new songs
Should never be my choice.

I hate the vulgar ditties
) That each Music Hall delight;

’Tis a thousand, thousand pities
Men such silly stuff should write.

I hate that “ Champagne Charley
With its stupid, jingling air :

It makes me feel quite snarly,

For ’tis whistled everywhere.

I hate that “ Not for Joseph,”

Which is every bit as bad,

But alas ! ’tis hummed, orjsung, or strummed,
By every Cockney cad.

Some old songs have been silly,

I am willing to allow :

Most stupid all with “ tol de rol,”

Or else with “ tow row row
Still I’d rather hear the old songs,

Tho’ they may not wholly please,

Than vulgar squalls at Music Halls,

Which cads esteem “ the cheese.”

SPOTTING HIM.

There is a hitch in the improving of Park Lane. A
contemporary says that this is due to the vaccination of
Lord John Manners. We can’t make this out. The
heads of the house of Rutland were notoriously model
parents, and how Lord John can have been allowed to
go from 1818 to 1868 without vaccination, we cannot
understand. However, better late than never, and we
hope that the operation has been successful, and that we
shall soon hear that Lord John is attending to his busi-
ness again.

[Since writing the above, we have seen the same in-
formation in another contemporary, only he spells the
word “vacillation.” The moral is the same; and we
cannot think of cancelling our own admirable remarks.]

THE SLAGE AND ST. STEPHEN'S.

The following mottoes for Ministers, &c., will be found, on examina-
tion, more applicable than they appear at the first blush:—-

The Earl of Derby.— The Game of Speculation. There is much
fitness in this. The noble Earl’s premiership will be distinguished by
the passing of a measure which (quoting Punch) he has himself termed
“ A leap in the dark.”

The Chancellor of the Exchequer.—A Winning Card. Though
we thought he had a bad hand, Benjamin kept his great card till the
last, and there is no question about its being a winning one. Pie
might have played it fairly when he ought to have done, though.

Lord Stanley.—Perfection. This, of course, must be true, when
both friends and foes are trumpeting his praises.

Mr. Gathorne Hardy.—The School for Tigers. Amply proved by
his treatment of Finlen and his companions, and the treatment he is
prepared to give others of a like calibre.

Mr. Walpole.—Kind to a Fault. Even his worst enemy will say
this of our poor male Niobe.

Lord John Manners.—Caste. The extreme propriety of this motto
will not be denied when we remember that the noble Lord once
wrote:—

“ Let laws and learning, arts and commerce die.

But leave us still our old nobility.”

proper position, however, stated briefly, is this :—that at the com-
mencement of last Session he vowed he could never consent to House-
hold Suffrage, whilst at its close he was a member of the Cabinet which
passed it.

Mr. What,t,f,y.—Man is not Perfect nor Woman neither. The former
is sometimes a long way from it. N.B. Note the present instance.

The Adullamites.—A Little Flirtation, illustrating their position with
the present Government.

The Tory party.—The School of Reform. We say nothing respecting
this, as the Schoolmaster recently said enough respecting it at
Edinburgh.

FUSTIAN FROM FRANCE.

had

some

thoughts of writing He’s a

Sir.John Pakington.—We
Lunatic, but beg to substitute Still Waters run Peep, having especial
reference to the attachment Sir John has always borne to Household
Suffrage, but which he never allowed to bubble up to the surface until
recently.

Sir Stafford Northcote. Allow me to Explain. The Right Hon.
Gentleman, it will have been observed, is particularly anxious that his
proper share in the “Reform Bill” should be distinctly understood,
and consequently he is always asking to be allowed to explain. His

Among other manufactures our neighbours, the French, are cer-
tainly rivalling us in fustian. A specimen of this article was exposed
the other day in a column of the Times. Its producers were French
democrats, who addressing their British brethren on the subject of the
Manchester martyrs to murder and treason, said, amongst other things
altogether untrue :—

“ Ces trois bommes ont 6t condamn^s, non pour avoir tu€ deux chevaux et un
agent de police ! Ils ont 6t6 oondamnds pour avoir ddlivrd a leurs risques et perils
deux chefs patriotes, le Colonel Kelly et le Capitaine Deasy, revenue d’Am^rique
au secours de l’lrlande et pensant qu’aprhs avoir affranchi les noirs, il dtait juste
d'affranchir les blancs.”

Fellows who assert that negro slaves and Irishmen are as black and
white would be perfectly ready to declare the former colour the latter.
They call Deasy and Kelly two patriots. What would they think of
prisoners in custody on the charge of freeing a gentleman of his watch
and chain, and would they approve of shooting a constable in order to
rescue them ?—

“ These three men have been condemned not for killing two horses and a
policeman.”

Horses first; policeman afterwards. This looks like supreme con-
tempt for policemen ; but what M. Pyat and his associates more likely
feel is fear of them.