Punch (54.1868)

June 13, 1868.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

251

THE HORSE SHOW.

hilst tHe Derby week is on, there are few people
who would not give it as their opinion that the
“proper study of mankind is—horse.” There
is an equine (favour pervading society during that
period, as there is undoubtedly a beefy odour throughout London at
the Cattle Show season, the latter being possibly accounted for by the
superabundance of ox-ygen in the air. Following close upon the wild
excitement of the Derby and the Oaks comes the calmer attraction of
the Islington show, and in admiring the animals when quiescent in
their stalls or careering proudly round the centre, the real admirer of
the noble brute who has won his money may spend it profitably in
some judicious purchases, whilst the sight cannot fail to be gratifying
to the luckless speculator who has backed his Lady Elizabeth, and has
•lost heavily by his Bet.

Irrespective of the actual entertainment derived by witnessing the
Show, the contemplation of the animals must have its due effect upon
those heartless utilitarians who would degrade the horse to the level of
the dinner-table, and who, in talking of “ stakes,” are apt to confuse
the legitimate meaning of the word with another—a juicier and more
■revolting one, repulsive alike to the admirer of the genuine article at
fourteenpence per pound, and the respecter of the “friend of man.”

On the present occasion it is true there was a grim suggestion of
what in this horribly practical age might occur some day in the presence
■of a new kind of sausage machine ; but we trust it was admitted by
accident, and was not deliberately placed in a prominent position, as a
•moral warning to the animals alter the manner of those jolly ancient
■gourmets, who couldn’t, erijoy their banquet without the presence of a
skeleton ; a cheerful addition, at once suggestive of the hollowness of
worldly delights, and the advantage of picking one’s bones. Be that
■as it may, we for one hope the day is far distant when there shall be a
run upon collared horse, or a lively demand in the poorer neighbour-
hoods for “ a pound of nice horse-ages.”

One is not required to have what is technically termed “ an eye for
ahorse” to see tbe vast superiority of a Show like the one at the
Agricultural Hall over such an exhibition as the Derby, as a means
towards the legitimate end ; namely, the improvement of the quadruped
himself. Where at Epsom one seldom sees anything but lean Hue
drawn weedy specimens, fleet of foot and delicate as Italian greyhounds,
at Islington one beholds a collection of honest, full-grown, well de-
veloped sturdy fellows, up to weight, fine enduring wholesome looking
animals of all sorts, shapes and sizes. The present show was no
■exception to the rule.

As usual, however, human judgment was not considered infallible,
■and some ot the judicial decisions of the noblemen and gentlemen who
awarded the prizes were received with anything but favour by the
spectators. Many well conducted persons indeed went so far as to
hiss, hoot, and yell at the lucky recipients of the judges’ approval, and
to receive the less fortunate animals with extravagant applause.
I rominent, amongst the unlucky ones was Samson, to our fancy a
grand animal, who on the second dav distinguished himself bevond all

others at leaping, being magnificently ridden by Mu. Hawes, who was
evidently destined to

“ Witch the world with noble Hawesmanship.”

and who took a fence after a fence with excellent temper.

The Prince of Wales’s Knight of St. Patrick, which took the
second prize amongst the weight-carrying hunters, was a decided suc-
cess ; but his Royal Highness’s Rupee was not a popular prizeholder.
We should, however, fancy the mare to be exceedingly fleet, indeed
Rupee struck us as being a kind of foreign coin which any one would
i find very difficult to pass. And here let us protest against the hideous
habit of shortening the horse’s tail in a barbarous manner, which in
many instances brought before our mind’s eye vivid recollections of
old Newmarket nags in black wooden frames, plentifully flyblown, in
the rusty inn parlours of bygone days. Some of the tails in the present
instance were the merest paragraphs. Such mutilation should be
felony, and on the homoeopathic principle, for those who cut short a
horse’s tail, the consequences should be decidedly the dock.

We would also urge the advisability of the persons who show off the
animals taking a few lessons in horseriding between this Show and the
one next year. In more senses than one there was a great falling off
this June; indeed, so often did some of the would-be huntsmen come
to the ground, that we were surprised they did not occasionally indulge
in that exciting and suggestive sporting exclamation, “ Tan-tivy ! ”

On the whole, however, the Fifth Annual Horse Show was the best
we have had, and though the prices attached to some of the numbers
were rather extravagant, they were no doubt like bets when lost by
ladies, not expected to be paid. The behaviour of the animals in their
stalls and boxes was a striking example for certain frequenters of other
| stalls and boxes, who are supposed to be as well bred, but who might
in many instances take a profitable lesson from the more quietly con-
ducted denizens of the Agricultural Hall.

We may add, that the only disappointment we met with was the
absence of a Suffolk Punch (which we held to be a personal slight) ;
that we were totally at a loss to discover the connection between a
Horse Show and a patent pea-sheller ; that the Prince’s white Arabian
was the popular attraction with the ladies, whilst the favourite judge
with the horses themselves was evidently Colonel Hay.

TWO WAYS WITH RASCALDOM.

There are two ways of doing most things, to say nothing of masterly
inactivity, or not doing them at all, which is pleasantest in hot weather.
We all know the extreme politeness displayed by our excellent Police
Magistrates towards criminals, and the careful avoidance of any ex-
pressions likely to wound the feelings of those interesting objects, and
to notify to them the opinion of Society on their doings. That is one
way.

In America there is another. We learn from the New York Leader
that—

“ Judgb Dowling, of Boston, is eminently fitted for his position. He is prompt,
intelligent, decided, humane. He will get through a hundred cases in an hour.
Discharge, fine, imprisonment, follow rapidly, mingled with paternal advice.”

And the writer follows this eulogium, which we understand is really
deserved, by a specimen of Judge Dowling’s talk to a rascal.

“ A man complains of a girl for breaking his windows. The Judge gets at the
story in a minute. * So you turned her out of doors, and she smashed your windows,
did she ? I wish she had broken your head. Great, idle, lazy vagabond, living on
the blood and bones of these poor creatures; if I catch you in my court again I ’ll
send you up for six months. Clear out!’ And the chap-fallen fellow leaves the
court-room. The prisoner is in great glee, but is instantly sobered as the Judge
turns to her and says : ‘ Look here, if you break that man's windows again, or
disturb him in any way, I ’ll send you up for six months. Now go.’ ”

That, as we have said, is the other way. We are not sure that it has
not its merits. It is the way Punch talks to sundry.

The Way to Rule the Waves.

The thanks of the British Nation are due to the Admiralty for
having provided it with Naval Defences, described by the Times as “a
fleet of ironclad broadsides, which can only fire their guns in such
exceptional weather as cannot fairly be anticipated for a naval action.”
It may be said that these Men-of-War, like Knickerbocker's Dutch
Emigrant Ship, are likely to be particularly great in a calm. But per-
haps that is too much to say ; and all that can be safely asserted is,
that the British Navy will be unable to fight in rough water.

NO CHILDREN NOW-A-DAYS.”

Awful intelligence about a child of only six years old. Her Mamma
says she is growing so fast!

Is it possible!! Are these the materials of which the girl of the
future period will be made ?