Punch (54.1868)

June 27, 1868.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

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PUNCH’S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

N Monday, June 15th, ray Lords,
a few of them at least, talked
some remarkably good sense
about the education of the
upper classes. When such men
as Lords Stanhope and Cla-
rendon say that Latin and
Greek composition is of no
use, and that the course of
study should be modernised, it
is possible that in highly gen-
teel families, where the opinion
of mere newspaper writers
might not Command Respect,
attention will be given to what
one’s Betters remark. No-
body wants to neglect Homer
and Horace, and Mr. Punch
would as soon cut off his nose
as his quotations from Naso;
but it is an awfully useful
thing to be able to do a rule
of three sum, and to order a
dinner in French or German,
and really everybody ought to
know that solid parallelopipeds
which are contained by pa-
rallelograms equiangular to
one another, each to each,that
is, of which the solid angles
are equal, each to each, have
to one another the ratio which
is the same with the ratio
compounded of the ratios of
their sides.

The Marquis op Bath was
very properly added to the
Committee on Artizans’Dwel-
lings. and we hope that, the
article from which he takes
his title will be invariably added to the dwellings themselves.

Rearden rose to give notice of a question, and “ was received with tokens of
disapprobation.”

The Irish Reform Bill went into Committee, and we assume that we may take it
'for granted that the universe will be content with a very brief account of what has
been done with it. There were some Redistribution Clauses, which the House
did not care about, so Mr. Disraeli very obligingly knocked them out, and then
the Commons, not to be outdone in courtesy, supported him against all the pro-
posals made by Gentlemen who sought to amend the measure, and also against a
proposal by Rearden.

Second Reading of the Bill for expediting the Registrations. The British Con-
stitutent may like to know that it is “ considered” that the new writs may be
issued by the 12ih of October, and that the New Parliament may meet about
Lord Mayor’s Day.

Tuesday. There is a Sale of Poisons Bill in hand, and Lord Redesdale wanted
all bottles containing such medicaments to be made of a peculiar shape, so that
there could be no mistake as to the contents. The idea does not seem irrational,
but the Lords thought that its adoption would be inconvenient to the chemical
and druggical profession.

On a Debate on our Pnblic Schools, Eton was described as the worst school in
the world. Mr. Labouchere said that he had been there three years, and had
learned nothing. Teat statement did not exactly prove the other proposition, in
which, however, there is an approach to the truth. But Eton is not a school. It
is a Gymnasium, to which hundreds of fine young fellows are sent to learn athletic
sports, and to which the sons of a good many Snobs are sent that the Snobs’
boys may pick up Swell acquaintances.

Mr. Bright set forth, in an hour’s speech, that the Blue Noses, also known
■ as the Nova Scotiaus, do not like the Union with Canada. Mr. Adderley denied
that they disliked it as much as was said, and the House, by 183 to 87, declined to
vote an address for inquiry, which decision Mr. Punch unhesitatingly declares to be
a mistake. Tbe Blue Noses are very loyal Blue Noses, and do not deserve a wipe
of this kind. At least, we might hear what they have got to say.

On the passing of the Bill for Demolishing the Irish Church, Colonel Stuart
Knox sped it from the House with a parting kick, declaring that it was going to
its last home. And, late in the week, Lord Chancellor Cairns, lor the
Government, intimated that he meant to move its rejection by the Lords. We
do not like risking a bold opinion; in fact, timidity of utterance is one of Mr.
Hunch’s graces—

“ He would not, in a peremptory tone,

Assert the Nose upon his face his own; ”

but he ventures to think that he has some grounds for not being entirely con-
vinced that the rejection of this Bill will put an end to the agitation against the
■ Church of Ireland.

Wednesday. Rearden asked a ridiculous question about
the alleged flogging of an Irish priest because a newspaper
had been sent to him in prison. Mr. Adderley gave a
contemptuous answer, and expressed regret that such
idiot.cy should be put into the Notice Paper.

Mr. Mill’s Bill for getting rid of the strongholds of
Bumbledom—the Yestries, was lucidly explained by him-
self, and was then talked out of the House of Commons,
Bumbledomonians prating on until the fatal Quarter to
Six. But there, will come another “ bad quarter of an
hour ” for the Yestries.

Thursday. Whether, under the pretence of going to
Church, paupers ought to be allowed a chance of running
away from the Unions on Sundays, leaving families charge-
able, was considered by the Lords, who thought that on
the whole poor people had a right to say thaP'they wanted
to go to church.

Tne Abyssinian Army, in reward for its bravery and
endurance, is to have six months’ batta, so it will have the
solid pudding as well as the empty praise.

Mr. Disraeli refers the Electric Telegraphs Bill to the
consideration of a Select Committee, and Mr. Punch refers
the following fact to the consideration of a Select Public.
An Irish editor of a newspaper, having dared to publish
articles in support of the Government scheme for taking
the wires away from those who manage them so badly and
charge so high, a Telegraph Company (we mean to know
which by next week), has menaced him with the taking
away the contract under which he is at present supplied
with news. These are the folks who presume to talk
about a possible arbitrary course on the part of Govern-
ment, if it had the telegraphs in hand. There is no pos-
sible English Minister who would commit the insolent act
which Mjr. Norwood described.

Friday. The Lords were wise and busy, the Commons
wiser and idle. The Peers listened to the Earl of Ellen-
bobough, who wished the Abyssinian army to be received
with grand military honours. It was allowed that any
honour which could be paid that gallant force had been de-
served, but the Duke of Cambridge pointed out, very
fairly, that such a reception would establish a precedent,
and that offence would be given if such a reception were
ever omitted for the future. But H. R. H. expressed, in
language of honourable warmth, his own gratitude, and
that of the nation, for the noble services of Sir Robert
Napier’s troops.

Then there was talk about Foreshores. This means the
bit of land between high and low water. It is the
Queen’s, but her lieges have a right to use it. As far as
we can make out, the Scotch landlords use the Foreshores
a good deal too much, to the extent of Foreshortening, as
a painter might say, and do not like being told that the
land is not theirs, but the Queen’s.

A CAUTION TO CAGED BIRDS.

(.Apropos of the Conduct of the Ladies at the Division on the
Married Women’s Property Biil.)

Let Members fight the livelong night.

With “ Hear, hear” and “Ob, oh!”

When Gladstone proves that black is white.

Or Dizz that “Yes” means “No!”

But, Ladies, you should never let
Such party noises rise :

Your little cage was never meant
For fan-taps, cheers and cries !

“ Propria quae maribus tribuuntur sint
feminina.’,

The Salford overseers insist on putting women’s claims
on the register.

! Huzza for Salford! _

The lot Salique bars women’s rights. The loi oaDjord)-
ique allows them. „

The great Mill of Westminster is proud to cotton
to the lesser Mills of Salford, who are about to lead the
way in working up shes into lies, and effacing the odious
distinction between the Lords and the Ladies of Creation .

A Proverb on its Trial.—“ As honest as the Day. ’

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