Punch (54.1868)

March 7, 1868.]

PUNCH, OR TI-IE LONDON CHARIVARI.

99

A HINT TO HAIR-DRESSERS.

HOW TO MAKE THEIR ESTABLISHMENTS PAY HANDSOMELY.

“HANG HIM, FOUL COLLIER!”

We prefix this quotation only to show our clever-
ness, as Sir Robert Collier is not foul, and had
not the least desire to hang Mr. Eyre. But, in-
structed by that Jamaica Committee, who cannot
forgive Mr. Eyre for having saved the island, and
extirpated a pestilent cunning fanatic by means which
were legally irregular. Sir Robert has applied at
Bow Street for a warrant, to try whether the deci-
sions of the Shropshire Bench and the Middlesex
Grand Jury cannot be overthrown, to the detriment
of Mr. Eyre. Sir Thomas Henry refused the
warrant. As there was no case against the “ prin-
cipals,” who hung Gordon, of course there was
none against the “ accessory.” Will Eyre’s per-
secutors never understand “ us English.” When,
in a moment of excitement and alarm, a public officer
is equal to the occasion, punishes murderers and
stamps out firebrands, the English nature is much
too generous to be hard upon him fordoing the right


Spooneigh would go as long
as his Hair held out.

thing in the wrong way. We are the most law-loving
people in the world, but we are not prigs and pedants,
and as Burke said, “ when a neighbour’s house is on
fire, we do not think it amiss should engines play a
little on our own.” We admit that it would have
been better had “Mr.” Gordon been disposed of
with the same regularity as “ Mr.” Gbeenacre,
but this is no reason for such persistent persecution
of an officer who endeavoured to do his best for his
Queen.

There is a passage in the Scouring of the While
Horse, a delightful book written by Mr. Thomas
Hughes, M.P., a gentleman known to Mr. Eyre’s
persecutors, which is as follows. Speaking of the
Governor of the East Angles (and the moral would
be the same if the people had lived in the West), Mr.
Hughes says, “ It is a pity he did not on this occa-
sion remember that having caught a great scoundrel,
the best thing to do with him was to see him hung
out of the way himself.” That’s all.

CIVILISATION RECEDING.

There are not a few persons who will derive high gratification from
the sign of the times thus announced by contemporaries :—

“The Penalty of Death in Switzerland.—The Grand Council of the canton
of Friburg has just re-established the penalty of death, which, was abolished 20
years ago. Out of 85 votes, 51 supported the re-introduction.”

Twenty years ago and more there was a very general persuasion that
mankind bad arrived at the commencement of a new era, in which
loving kindness would subdue brutality, and overcome evil with good.
Enthusiasts went about predicting that there would soon be an end of
war, and of capital punishment. We said at the time they would find
themselves mistaken. So they do. We have had, in spite of your
Great Exhibitions, which were to knit mankind in universal brother-
hood, but, didn’t, a Crimean War, and an Indian Mutiny, an American
Civil War, and a War for German Unity, not to mention an Insurrec-

tion stamped out in Jamaica. The crime of murder has increased, to
the proportionate increase of executions. Obstinate and determined
treason gomg on to assassination has necessitated banging, here in
England. And now, after twenty’ years trial of secondary punishment
in Switzerland, it has been found necessary to re-establish the penalty
of death.

The abolition of capital punishment has proved a failure. So much
for you, mawkish sentimentalists. Let us have no more of your
amiable aspirations. As the world always has been, so it is, and so it
always will be. There is no hope that war will ever cease, and that we
shall ever be able to do without the gallows. Hooray ! The substance
of the foregoing remarks will doubtless seem familiar to many of our
friends who are accustomed to enjoy the conversation, or recreate
themselves with the writings, of strongminded but impassioned pessi-
mists, to whom all evidence of the backward march of humanity is
cheering.