DOI Heft:
March 7, 1868
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16881#0108
100
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 7, L868„
CALL THAT A MEDAL?
he interestin'? and imposing ceremonial depicted
in the annexed engraving was in this wise. Mr.
Punch himself honoured the French Exhibition,
the Gasometer, the Ovals, the Ellipses, or what-
ever you may like to call the place, by permitting
his statue, exquisitely executed, to dominate over
a sumptuous cabinet—it, deserves no humbler name
—on whose spiral columns were inscribed Names
of Power, and on whose tablets were displayed
marvels of art, pictorial and typographic. This was the gem of the
Exhibition, and while myriads crowded to behold it (some of them
so intensely interested that they could not help prigging choice speci-
mens—we forgive them) Mr. Punch from his lofty height smiled upon
the crowd, and said, in the words of the American beetle that was
pinned to the wall,
“ Though I’m stuck up, I am not proud.”
Well, he desired no further recognition than the homage of the
entire world. He had that, and dismissed the subject from bis mind.
But, the other day, there comes to him—or rather to his esteemed
publishers, for even with the 1,200,000 soldiers behind it, the Dynasty
would not have dared to profane the name of Punch — a hideous thing
in the semblance of a medal, silver or pewter he did not trouble himself
to ascertain, but assuredly something which no charity boy with a
sense of what was due to the parish would wear on his jacket.
You perceive what Mr. Punch did with the rubbish, and Toby, we
believe, has expended it in cat’s meat for the relief of the distressed
cats of Fleet Street. Value such a medal? No, the reverse.
HOW TO CURB A CENTAURESS.
As the season is approaching, and Rotten Row ere long will be as
crowded as Ckeapside, it is as well to warn young ladies not to be too
last, when taking exercise on horseback, lest they haply share the fate
of one who lately had to pay two guineas for her gallop, besides paying
a visit to the Marlborough Street Police Court. This young Centauress
was summoned for furious riding, “ going at the rate of sixteen miles
an hour, and whipping her horse constantly,” so t.be constable alleged.
He also said that “ several ladies and gentlemen had complained of her
conduct,” and Mb. TrRWHiTT, the Magistrate, in fining her, remarked :
“ Ha was sorry to see a young lady in such a predicament, but he did not believ
at the same time that the horse ran away with her as alleged. He believed she had
ridden the horse at a fast rate, which might be amusing to her, but at the same
time was dangerous to others, and she would therefore have to pay a fine of 40s.
and costs.”
Wheu desiring to perform a rapid act of horsemanship, fast young
ladies should not choose a place like Rotten Row, which never was
intended to be turned into a race-course. Por a young lady to make
her debut in a Police Court is not a very pleasant predicament to con-
template, but the Row would not be safe for quiet girls to ride in, if
something were not done, as in the case above condensed, to clap a
curb upon the centauresses. Let them amble, trot, or canter in Hyde
Park as they please; but when they want a gallop, while they live iu
London, let them be content to take it in a bail-room.
EVENINGS FROM HOME.
AT THE LYCEUM.
Narcisse is easily dismissed, not so Mr. Bandmann, a clever German
actor, who appears to have learut his English in Ireland.
They talk.
ACT I.
Scene 1.—A Soiree at Baron d’Holbach's.
Enter Narcisse. He talks.
Scene 2.—Front Scene. Cabinet of the Due de Choiseul.
Eater Mr. Jordan, he talks. Enter Mr Farren, he talks. Both
talk.
[Exeunt Mr. Earren and Mr. Jordan.
Scene 3 —The Actress's Boudoir (with a very unboudoirlike fire-place).
Miss Palmer talks. Narcisse talks. Both talk till the Curtain
drops. Audience talk.
ACT II.
Madame de
body does auythiug.
Scene 1.—Gallery of Mirrors.
Pompadour enters. Charming. Does nothin®
Scene 2.—Ante-Room.
No-
Enter Mr. Jordan.
Enter Mr. Earren. They talk.
[Exeunt Mr. Jordan and Mr. Earren.
-Quinault’s Saloon.
Miss Palmer talks again.
Curtain.
He talks
Scene 3.
Enter Narcisse. He talks,
for a quarter of an hour more.
ACT III.
Scene 1.—-Apartment at Versailles.
The Pompadour. Charming again. Does nothing. Says something.
Nobody does anything. Audience wonder what the deuce it’s all about.
Scene 2.—Du Choiseul’s Cabinet. Front Scene.
As usual, euter Mr. Jordan, he talks. As before, enter Mr.
Farren, he talks. Both talk.
[Exeunt for the third time, Mr. Jordan and Mr. Earren.
Scene 3.—The Lace Gallery at Versailles. Situation from the Flay
Scene in Hamlet.
Admirable acting of .Mr. Bandmann, the only relief to the piece,
which thus winds up triumphantly.
Clever Friend. Ah, you should have seen it in the original German.
Ourselves. Well, we’ve seen the original German in it.
Clever Friend. Ah, you’ve no idea-
Ourselves. No, we’ve not. Goodnight. [Exeunt omnes.
AN ARTICLE IN THEIR OWN STYLE.
What is the use of the Americans going on bothering and humbug-
ging in this way ? Here is their Government at a dead lock, the
President defying Congress, and Congress denouncing the Presi-
dent. The latter is made to keep a Minister whom he hates, aud he
appeals to the law to turn the man out. Reconstruction fails, and the
negroes are partly inclined to obey their late owners, partly disposed to
seize the United States generally, and make the whites work for them,
j And everybody is obliged to toady the Irish, for the sake of votes,,
though as soon as the votes are given the Irish will be kicked. The Pre-
sident lays a trap for Grant, and Grant snubs the President. Is
this a state of things to go on? Is this a condition into which the descend-
ants of the English should be plunged ? Can they not see with their
eyes and understand with their elbows ? Clearly, the Americans have
, before them a splendid chance of regeneration. Let them have a coup
d'etat—they like French words. Abolish the President as a power,
but let him reign, and have responsible Ministers—men responsible to
Parliament (get rid of the affected word Congress), and liable to be turned
out when a majority opposes them. Abolish, also, universal suffrage,
and impose a qualification which shall exclude all rowdies, Irish,
contractors. New York municipals, bully-boys, pugilists, and the-
scum generally. Create an Aristocracy—the Americans have the
words “Honourable” and “Reverend” now, and it is childish to be-
afraid of “Baronet” and “Lord.” Have a standard of mauuers and
good breeding. Don’t wear black clothes in the morning. In a word,
become a gentlemanly as you are a great nation. We frankly present
you with this advice in exchange for your lectures on our duty to
Ireland, and inasmuch as you are at a dead lock, as we have said, and
our institutions are working exceedingly well—a man from the ranks-
has just become Premier—we consider that we are doubly entitled to
blow you up for not understanding your own business. Let’s liquor-
up all round.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[March 7, L868„
CALL THAT A MEDAL?
he interestin'? and imposing ceremonial depicted
in the annexed engraving was in this wise. Mr.
Punch himself honoured the French Exhibition,
the Gasometer, the Ovals, the Ellipses, or what-
ever you may like to call the place, by permitting
his statue, exquisitely executed, to dominate over
a sumptuous cabinet—it, deserves no humbler name
—on whose spiral columns were inscribed Names
of Power, and on whose tablets were displayed
marvels of art, pictorial and typographic. This was the gem of the
Exhibition, and while myriads crowded to behold it (some of them
so intensely interested that they could not help prigging choice speci-
mens—we forgive them) Mr. Punch from his lofty height smiled upon
the crowd, and said, in the words of the American beetle that was
pinned to the wall,
“ Though I’m stuck up, I am not proud.”
Well, he desired no further recognition than the homage of the
entire world. He had that, and dismissed the subject from bis mind.
But, the other day, there comes to him—or rather to his esteemed
publishers, for even with the 1,200,000 soldiers behind it, the Dynasty
would not have dared to profane the name of Punch — a hideous thing
in the semblance of a medal, silver or pewter he did not trouble himself
to ascertain, but assuredly something which no charity boy with a
sense of what was due to the parish would wear on his jacket.
You perceive what Mr. Punch did with the rubbish, and Toby, we
believe, has expended it in cat’s meat for the relief of the distressed
cats of Fleet Street. Value such a medal? No, the reverse.
HOW TO CURB A CENTAURESS.
As the season is approaching, and Rotten Row ere long will be as
crowded as Ckeapside, it is as well to warn young ladies not to be too
last, when taking exercise on horseback, lest they haply share the fate
of one who lately had to pay two guineas for her gallop, besides paying
a visit to the Marlborough Street Police Court. This young Centauress
was summoned for furious riding, “ going at the rate of sixteen miles
an hour, and whipping her horse constantly,” so t.be constable alleged.
He also said that “ several ladies and gentlemen had complained of her
conduct,” and Mb. TrRWHiTT, the Magistrate, in fining her, remarked :
“ Ha was sorry to see a young lady in such a predicament, but he did not believ
at the same time that the horse ran away with her as alleged. He believed she had
ridden the horse at a fast rate, which might be amusing to her, but at the same
time was dangerous to others, and she would therefore have to pay a fine of 40s.
and costs.”
Wheu desiring to perform a rapid act of horsemanship, fast young
ladies should not choose a place like Rotten Row, which never was
intended to be turned into a race-course. Por a young lady to make
her debut in a Police Court is not a very pleasant predicament to con-
template, but the Row would not be safe for quiet girls to ride in, if
something were not done, as in the case above condensed, to clap a
curb upon the centauresses. Let them amble, trot, or canter in Hyde
Park as they please; but when they want a gallop, while they live iu
London, let them be content to take it in a bail-room.
EVENINGS FROM HOME.
AT THE LYCEUM.
Narcisse is easily dismissed, not so Mr. Bandmann, a clever German
actor, who appears to have learut his English in Ireland.
They talk.
ACT I.
Scene 1.—A Soiree at Baron d’Holbach's.
Enter Narcisse. He talks.
Scene 2.—Front Scene. Cabinet of the Due de Choiseul.
Eater Mr. Jordan, he talks. Enter Mr Farren, he talks. Both
talk.
[Exeunt Mr. Earren and Mr. Jordan.
Scene 3 —The Actress's Boudoir (with a very unboudoirlike fire-place).
Miss Palmer talks. Narcisse talks. Both talk till the Curtain
drops. Audience talk.
ACT II.
Madame de
body does auythiug.
Scene 1.—Gallery of Mirrors.
Pompadour enters. Charming. Does nothin®
Scene 2.—Ante-Room.
No-
Enter Mr. Jordan.
Enter Mr. Earren. They talk.
[Exeunt Mr. Jordan and Mr. Earren.
-Quinault’s Saloon.
Miss Palmer talks again.
Curtain.
He talks
Scene 3.
Enter Narcisse. He talks,
for a quarter of an hour more.
ACT III.
Scene 1.—-Apartment at Versailles.
The Pompadour. Charming again. Does nothing. Says something.
Nobody does anything. Audience wonder what the deuce it’s all about.
Scene 2.—Du Choiseul’s Cabinet. Front Scene.
As usual, euter Mr. Jordan, he talks. As before, enter Mr.
Farren, he talks. Both talk.
[Exeunt for the third time, Mr. Jordan and Mr. Earren.
Scene 3.—The Lace Gallery at Versailles. Situation from the Flay
Scene in Hamlet.
Admirable acting of .Mr. Bandmann, the only relief to the piece,
which thus winds up triumphantly.
Clever Friend. Ah, you should have seen it in the original German.
Ourselves. Well, we’ve seen the original German in it.
Clever Friend. Ah, you’ve no idea-
Ourselves. No, we’ve not. Goodnight. [Exeunt omnes.
AN ARTICLE IN THEIR OWN STYLE.
What is the use of the Americans going on bothering and humbug-
ging in this way ? Here is their Government at a dead lock, the
President defying Congress, and Congress denouncing the Presi-
dent. The latter is made to keep a Minister whom he hates, aud he
appeals to the law to turn the man out. Reconstruction fails, and the
negroes are partly inclined to obey their late owners, partly disposed to
seize the United States generally, and make the whites work for them,
j And everybody is obliged to toady the Irish, for the sake of votes,,
though as soon as the votes are given the Irish will be kicked. The Pre-
sident lays a trap for Grant, and Grant snubs the President. Is
this a state of things to go on? Is this a condition into which the descend-
ants of the English should be plunged ? Can they not see with their
eyes and understand with their elbows ? Clearly, the Americans have
, before them a splendid chance of regeneration. Let them have a coup
d'etat—they like French words. Abolish the President as a power,
but let him reign, and have responsible Ministers—men responsible to
Parliament (get rid of the affected word Congress), and liable to be turned
out when a majority opposes them. Abolish, also, universal suffrage,
and impose a qualification which shall exclude all rowdies, Irish,
contractors. New York municipals, bully-boys, pugilists, and the-
scum generally. Create an Aristocracy—the Americans have the
words “Honourable” and “Reverend” now, and it is childish to be-
afraid of “Baronet” and “Lord.” Have a standard of mauuers and
good breeding. Don’t wear black clothes in the morning. In a word,
become a gentlemanly as you are a great nation. We frankly present
you with this advice in exchange for your lectures on our duty to
Ireland, and inasmuch as you are at a dead lock, as we have said, and
our institutions are working exceedingly well—a man from the ranks-
has just become Premier—we consider that we are doubly entitled to
blow you up for not understanding your own business. Let’s liquor-
up all round.