Punch (54.1868)

April 4, 1868.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

143

PUTTING IT MILDLY.

Miss Scramble {who lias followed Major Crasher over big fence). “I say, just tell me, have I hurt my Hat?
Major Crasher. “Well, it is a little out of Shape, perhaps !”

THE FIGHTING-COCKS.

High Wycombe’s roaring Radical,
Conservatism’s glory:

South Lancashire’s keen Liberal,

Old Oxford’s model Tory !

Each on his foe’s old dunghill perched,
Point spur, and ruffle feather, Cocks !

Cock of the walk if one must be.

Both of you are its weather-cocks.

If virtue were consistency,

What casuist shall settle.

Of these two doughty champions
Which is “ pot ” and which “ kettle ” P

And yet there is one difference,

At least, between your cases :

It is that "Dizzy has changed masks,
While Gladstone has changed faces.

CHEESEPARING OFP ON THE ARMY ESTIMATES.

Alderman Lusk., Member for Einsbury, and Alderman Candlish,
Member for Sunderland, can hardly know how wretchedly dull is the
life of a poor officer of the British Army in a garrison town, otherwise
they would never have objected in Committee of Supply on the Army
Estimates to a vote of £3000 for officers’ Billiard Tables. One would
think that Finsbury and Sunderland must be both of them very
illiberal constituencies to be represented by Mr. Lusk and Mr.
Candlish. How could Lusk, an Alderman of the great Corporation
of London, have been capable of such small economy ? It is not so
much to be wondered at in Candlish, who must be connected with
the Savealls.

A Style of Italian Opera. suitable for Railway Companies.
•The Opera Buffer.

AN EMPIRE IN BANKRUPTCY.

The French empire will, financially, be soon in a nice fix, according
to the balance-sheet which M. Horn has issued. Assuredly this Horn
makes rather doleful music. Here, by way of a finale, is a sadly mourn-
ful strain:—

“The financial credit of France and her political credit are fallen lower than
before L852, and her internal condition is characterised by general embaiTassment,
which is turning to misery. . . To continue as we are is impossible, and there

remains for France no choice between reform and bankruptcy.”

Reform and bankruptcy ! Scylla and Charybdis ! Look either way
he will, the Emperor can hardly find much pleasure in the prospect.
What a tempest would arise from the stormy Marshal Niel, i
reform should take the shape of a reduction of the army ! How would
M. Hausmann rave at a Reform Bill which should clap a stop upon
his organ of destructiveness, and check him in the costly work of
pulling down half Paris ! How would the lovely Empress pout at a
proposal to reduce her yearly pin-money, and to put her on a limited
allowance of new bonnets ! Yet, on the other hand, the Emperor
would hardly like to figure in the Court of Bankruptcy. With all his
strong ambition to be likened to liis Uncle, he would scarcely wish to
be discovered out at Elba. (Oh !) Will he then do penance in his balance-
sheet, we wonder, and turn over a new leaf in the Imperial account-
book ? If he listened to the voice of wisdom, this would be his course :
and if he would gain the good opinion of the world, his first act of reform
should be to lessen his large army. Let him follow in the footsteps
of bis friend, Mr. Bull, and the course which he pursues will cease to
be the road to ruin. M. Horn shows him at present on the horns
of a dilemma, embarrassed by the choice between reform and bank-
ruptcy. _

Correspondence.

The Military Authorities have stopped all drumming out of the
Army.” “ What,” asks Noodel of us, “have the Horse-Guards to do
with any drumming out of the Army, while to my own knowledge as a
constant admirer of military bands, they still allow drumming in the
Army. Are we under martial law ? ”