DOI issue:
February 15, 1868
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16881#0084
76
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 16, 1868;
RATHER AWKWARD.
Mb. McPhairson (from Scotland) bring in London lately, calls on an Artist whose acquaintance he had made in the
Highlands a Year or two ago, and sends his Name up by the Servant. Fancy his Astonishment and “ Indeegnation”
VTHEN SHE RETURNS WITH THE MESSAGE THAT “MASTER’S GOT YER ADDRESS, An’ BE WON’T FORGET YEE, BUT HE’s VERY BUSY NOW,
AN’ don’t WANT YER, AN’ WHEN HE DOES, HE’LL SEND FOR YER ! ! ” He RETURNS HOME TO GLEN-SlUISHY. KB. MORE PREJUDICED
THAN EVER AGAINST THE “ SOUTHRON.”
Explanation.—There happened to be a pertinacious old Model of the same Name who was constantly calling and
BOTHERING.
SERENADE ADDRESSES.
“ Serenade Addresses” are a fashion in America. How fervently
we long to see them fashionable here !—that is, supposing them to be
what we in fairness may suppose. What good fun it would be to see
a Mayor and Corporation delivering to Royalty a serenade address !
Of course, we may presume that, like other serenaders, they would
have their faces blacked, and would accompany themselves upon the
tambourine and bones. How funny it would be, too, if lovers took to
paying serenade addresses, and Edwin were to snigger in the costume
of a nigger, when he courted Angelina with his banjo on his knee !
For our own part, our addresses have long ago been paid, and we have
obtained a stamped receipt for them—stamped upon our lips. We
therefore have no need to make a serenade address to the lady of our
love, and we are willing to present our excellent suggestion of the
blacked face and the banjo to any one who fancies it may aid him in
his soot.
Old Joke from the Old School.
In days when novels, (mostly female,) treat
Of crimes whose names one scarcely dares repeat,
Gladstone rings out the praise of Walter Scott.
Well spoken, Gladstone. Dash the Income-Tax,
But you say well, my son, that mangy hacks
In the “ long run” will die behind “ Scott’s lot.’’
New Legal Maxim.—'Mbs. Blaxton Lyttleton avers that a hus-
band’s word may be law, but it certainly is not always equity.
The true “ Eenian Bonds.”—A good pair of handcuffs.
IRELAND’S QUACK DOCTORS.
The case of Ireland is just now attracting the attention of the
Eaculty. The doctors differ about it, and empirics propose to step in
with their suggestions for a perfect cure, recommending chiefly tonics,
stimulants, and alteratives. We shall soon, perhaps, see some of these
remedies advertised in the usual style of patent medicine-vendors.
As :—
Try the Endowment of Irish Roman Catholic Priests in grants and
glebes taken from the Established Church.
Eor the Certain Cure of Irish Disorders have immediate recourse to
the Subdivision of Landed Property. No capital required.
The Only Safe and Effectual Remedy for the Diseases of Ireland is
Periodical Confiscation.
There is one thing that seems so capable of possibly doing Ireland
some little good that it is a wonder no one has yet announced it as a
panacea for her ailments. The soil that grows the Solarium tuberosum
so well, is said to be also favourable to the growth of another member
of the Nightshade family equally popular, the Nicotiana Tahacum.
Perhaps a herb doctor will next come forward with his simple specific
for putting Ireland to-rights, and his advice will be
Try Tobacco.
To the Passionate Gabbies.
Cabbies, Cabbies, take advice,
Keep your cabs clean, whole, and nice,
Nor along the roadways crawl.
Or public wrath will smash you all.
The Musical Valentine.—In The Huguenots.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[February 16, 1868;
RATHER AWKWARD.
Mb. McPhairson (from Scotland) bring in London lately, calls on an Artist whose acquaintance he had made in the
Highlands a Year or two ago, and sends his Name up by the Servant. Fancy his Astonishment and “ Indeegnation”
VTHEN SHE RETURNS WITH THE MESSAGE THAT “MASTER’S GOT YER ADDRESS, An’ BE WON’T FORGET YEE, BUT HE’s VERY BUSY NOW,
AN’ don’t WANT YER, AN’ WHEN HE DOES, HE’LL SEND FOR YER ! ! ” He RETURNS HOME TO GLEN-SlUISHY. KB. MORE PREJUDICED
THAN EVER AGAINST THE “ SOUTHRON.”
Explanation.—There happened to be a pertinacious old Model of the same Name who was constantly calling and
BOTHERING.
SERENADE ADDRESSES.
“ Serenade Addresses” are a fashion in America. How fervently
we long to see them fashionable here !—that is, supposing them to be
what we in fairness may suppose. What good fun it would be to see
a Mayor and Corporation delivering to Royalty a serenade address !
Of course, we may presume that, like other serenaders, they would
have their faces blacked, and would accompany themselves upon the
tambourine and bones. How funny it would be, too, if lovers took to
paying serenade addresses, and Edwin were to snigger in the costume
of a nigger, when he courted Angelina with his banjo on his knee !
For our own part, our addresses have long ago been paid, and we have
obtained a stamped receipt for them—stamped upon our lips. We
therefore have no need to make a serenade address to the lady of our
love, and we are willing to present our excellent suggestion of the
blacked face and the banjo to any one who fancies it may aid him in
his soot.
Old Joke from the Old School.
In days when novels, (mostly female,) treat
Of crimes whose names one scarcely dares repeat,
Gladstone rings out the praise of Walter Scott.
Well spoken, Gladstone. Dash the Income-Tax,
But you say well, my son, that mangy hacks
In the “ long run” will die behind “ Scott’s lot.’’
New Legal Maxim.—'Mbs. Blaxton Lyttleton avers that a hus-
band’s word may be law, but it certainly is not always equity.
The true “ Eenian Bonds.”—A good pair of handcuffs.
IRELAND’S QUACK DOCTORS.
The case of Ireland is just now attracting the attention of the
Eaculty. The doctors differ about it, and empirics propose to step in
with their suggestions for a perfect cure, recommending chiefly tonics,
stimulants, and alteratives. We shall soon, perhaps, see some of these
remedies advertised in the usual style of patent medicine-vendors.
As :—
Try the Endowment of Irish Roman Catholic Priests in grants and
glebes taken from the Established Church.
Eor the Certain Cure of Irish Disorders have immediate recourse to
the Subdivision of Landed Property. No capital required.
The Only Safe and Effectual Remedy for the Diseases of Ireland is
Periodical Confiscation.
There is one thing that seems so capable of possibly doing Ireland
some little good that it is a wonder no one has yet announced it as a
panacea for her ailments. The soil that grows the Solarium tuberosum
so well, is said to be also favourable to the growth of another member
of the Nightshade family equally popular, the Nicotiana Tahacum.
Perhaps a herb doctor will next come forward with his simple specific
for putting Ireland to-rights, and his advice will be
Try Tobacco.
To the Passionate Gabbies.
Cabbies, Cabbies, take advice,
Keep your cabs clean, whole, and nice,
Nor along the roadways crawl.
Or public wrath will smash you all.
The Musical Valentine.—In The Huguenots.