Punch: Punch (54.1868)

78

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[February 22, 1868.

and the House unanimously agreed that they must pay personally, and
it is too soon to alter the Reform Act.

Mr. Bentinck to Mr. Hunt. Have you appointed an architect for the
New Courts of Law ?

Mr. Hunt to Mr. Bentinclc. No.

Mr. Bunch to the Government. What a hurry you were in to pull
down all those houses, which produced a rental of £20,000 a-year,
needlessly lost while you are waiting for your plans ? Yah !

Mr. Forster to Mr. Disraeli. Are yon going to bring in a Bill affecting
the Elementary Education of the People ? (The Honourable Member
supplemented this question with upwards of a column of highly im-
proving and instructive oratory.)

Mr. Disraeli to Mr. Forster. You have spoken very well, but I am
going to reply only that we are.

Mr. Walpole, in a very pleasing speech, moved the Second Reading
of the Bill for enabling the Seven Public Schools to reform themselves,
if they like. These be Winchester, Eton, Shrewsbury, Westminster,

Rugby, Harrow, and the Charter House. Merchant Taylors’ and St.
Paul’s are omitted, for fear of offending the City Companies that have-
charge of the endowments. Bather an amusing debate followed, and
the uselessness of Latin and Greek, the shortcomings of the Schools,
the desirability of neglecting the wishes of the dead old Founders, the
seizure of the Schools by the classes for whom they were not intended,
and all the rest of it, were served up in the customary manner, and the-
Bill was read a Second Time.

The Earl oe Mayo asked for another Year of Suspension of the
Habeas Corpus Act in Ireland. “Dr. Bull takes your case first,.
M’m,”—vide Cartoon. But this is merely The excellent Doctor’s pre-
liminary and precautionary prescription. Mr. Bagwell, Member for
Clonmell (Ireland), civilly mentioned that, while he allowed that the
Government exercised its power with much mildness, he should upset
it unless it proceeded to deal with the Irish Question. What is that ?"
Only an Irish Echo can answer.

A CRITICAL TIME.

Under Housemaid. “Do you think there will be any more Valentines?
I do wish Mr. Bung would Open the Letter-Bag ! ”

Upper Ditto. “Letter-Bag, indeed! It’s very hunpleasant to ’ave your
Letters hoverlooked, partickler at this time o’ year ! ’

A PRINCE IN A PREDICAMENT.

The Standard is an excellent paper, and has, as it deserves, a great circulation
among the clergy. Consequently, we naturally look for supernatural informa-
tion in its columns. Nor are we disappointed. Describing the visit of Prince
Alered to Ballarat, the Standard s lively Correspondent says,—

“ The weather was intolerably hot, the wind was as high as it is to-night (and it is now howling
in my ears, exulting over the ruin ot my property); shoals of horsemen and footmen crowded after
his carriage wherever the country was inhabited, smothered him with dust, and obliged him to
drive his four-in-hand through the triumphal arches as if the devil were at his tail.”

We are glad to obtain an idea of the way a Prince would act under the unplea-
sant circumstances finally indicated.

An Unrnown Quantity.—-Cbiltern Hundreds.

COMFORT FOR EX-KINGS.

Ex-Kings, and Princes dispossessed,

Doth Europe not afford to you,

Each resting in his feathered nest,

A gratifying view ?

Armed against one another, blows
Prepared to strike, her nations standi
Amongst them see how prosper those
Who cast off your command !

Their soldiers serve against their will,

Lose limbs, and find untimely graves ;
Endure hard discipline, and drill,

Meanwhile : what else than slaves r

The part that drew the luckier lot
Groan under war exaction j they
Who are not forced to face the shot.

Are forced the shot to pay.

Conscription those, taxation these
Burdens, grinds down, oppresses, wring*
Much more, than when, ex-Majesties,

They had yourselves for kings.

Not one of you, with despot’s might,

Used any subjects ever worse
Than those whom he compelled to fight,

Or whom he touched in purse.

Behold the food for steel, and lead.

Drawn up in phalanx and in line 1
Thralls of Democracy, instead
Of kingly Right Divine.

Praise France, who puts on self-defence
The neighbours whom she cannot fear.
With armaments whose scale immense
Means aim to domineer.

Praise France, from you, ye Bourbons, free.

Much freedom hers !!—what land has less ?
A military tyranny,

Tied tongues, and shackled Press.

And her Elect keeps- thee, old Man
Of Rome, upon thy priestly throne,

Whilst thou dost the foundation ban
Whereon was built his own.

And Europe is a general camp,

Or garrison prepared for siege,

Since France must on a sister stamp
Eor what she calls “prestige.”

Meetly Worded.

The South Kensington authorities are wags. Hand-
some new refreshment rooms have lately been opened in the-
Museum, but they are not yet in a state of completeness.
The following Notice has been placed on the wails, “ The-
present arrangements, furniture, &c., of the new refresh-
ment rooms are to be considered as only provisional.” (The-
italics are ours, as reviewers say).