DOI Heft:
April 25, 1868
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16881#0185
178
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April
186S.
SONG OF THE DYING SWAN.
No surrender ! No surrender !
No Reform ! I used to bawl
Then, of weak points blind defender,
1 insured the loss of all.
Irish Church Expropriation,
In a measure due and just.
Would have been her preservation ;
’Twas refused ; and go she must !
Had we Tories but consented ;
Long ago to prune the tree,
Gladstone’s axe, in time prevented.
At its root we should not see.
Then it might have stood, to shelter
All its own— perchance to grow,
Ireland having justice dealt her :
Now it will be all laid low.
Wisdom’s lessons clean forgotten,
We persisted, o’er and o’er,
In defending what, was rotten ;
Lose both that and something more.
All our use has been, poor buffers,
Easing shocks to still keep on.
Ah, we put our trust in duffers !
Now our occupation’s gone.
THIS FLYING MAN.
LOOKING FORWARD.
“ Pray, don’t put too many Coals on, Many ! It makes me shiver
WHEN I THINK THAT IN THREE HUNDRED YEARS WE SHALL HAVE NONE LEFT ! ”
Sir,—There’s a man who professes to fly from one end
of the Crystal Palace to the other. What of that. Sir?
Nothing ; my wife and I for the last twelve years have,
once in six months, taken a fly up to town from Peckham,
to make calls. Yours,
Pippity wix.
N.B. Now, Sir, is the time of year for seeing the bloom
on Peckham Rye. Come aud dwell with me and be my
love, and sing. Rye fol de riddle, &c., as of yore.
The Fortune of War.—Prize Money.
A PARLIAMENT OF LADIES’ MEN.
The great event of last week, next to the Prince and Princess of
Wales’s visit to Dublin, was the meeting on the Women’s Suffrage
Question at Salford, in the Free Trade Hall, on Wednesday. If it
was not a perfect success, that was partly owing to the absence, occa-
sioned unfortunately by a bad cold, of the eldest Miss Bright,
daughter of Friend John, M.P. Train up a child in the way she, as
well as he, should go. Also, to have been completely successful, the
meeting should have been honoured with the presence of One who is,
not excepting Mr. Mill, the greatest philogynist in the world, and
as such would have offered it the suggestion which follows.
The capability of women to choose between political good and evil
being questioned, let it be tried. Ladies, try it yourselves. On the
basis of universal suffrage, or any other that you may prefer, choose
a Parliament of your own. Though unrecognised as a legislative body,
it will be quite legal—just like Convocation. Indeed, it will exactly
answer the very purpose which Convocation serves. Convocation
enables us to see what laws the clergy would make if they could, and
how fit or unfit they are to be intrusted with legislative power. Your
Parliament of unacknowledged legislators will also, by their debates
and conclusions on the various proposals brought under their consi-
deration, show us what sort of addition you, in your representatives,
might be expected to contribute to the Collective Wisdom. And in
the meantime it will perhaps do something more than Convocation
ever does ; that is, it may now and then frame some measure so sensible
as to get adopted by the real Parliament, aud passed into a law.
The Great Prize Conundrum for 1868.
Who will win the Derby this year ?
*** A correct answer in plenty of time before the race, and an
undertaking by the sender to bear all loss, will meet with prompt
attention.
Local Colouring.—Paint on Cheeks.
ORANGE-ISM IN EXCELSIS.
If Mr. Disraeli anticipates any difficulty with the Orange lot, Mr.
Punch advises him to send for one M. Agouste, at present engaged
by the Management of the Holborn Circus, but whom the patriotism
of that Establishment would doubtless induce it to surrender at the
prayer of the Minister. M. Agouste disposes of the Orange Question
in the most miraculous way. In fact, he declines to concede that there
is any question. The Oranges in his hands, or on his heels, or in his
plates, or wherever else he may choose rather to wish than to put them,
obey him with a promptness which suggests volition as well as volita-
tion. Whether they eddy idly aloft, move gracefully in mid air with the
regularity of the planets, or rotate before him in an endless little chain,
they seem to be moved by machinery rather than by a man’s caprice. The
sight is so remarkable, that Mr. Disraeli had better go and see it for
political reasons, and the rest of the public for the sake of beholding a
feat which Mr. Punch hesitates not to declare unique. He will add,
while about it, that the Holborn Circus has nearly supplied the loss of
Astley’s ; and, if the former were dirty instead of clean, and the boxes
were disagreeable instead of comfortable, the charm would be com-
plete. As it is, we must put up wit.h luxury for the sake of a capital
evening. There is a clown, too, who speaks out, and has some new
jokes, aud whose impudent persistence in mischief sends the children
into ecstacy. When Punch smiles, and the children laugh, all is
right. _ __•_
The Royal Smoker.
The Prince of Wales is known to be a great smoker. The Queen
it is said does not approve of this taste, or Her Majesty would have
given H.R.H. the magnificent Regalia now kept in a dry place in the
Tower.
Strange that the beefeaters who show visitors over the Tower are
the only people allowed to “ puff” the regalia.
Fetch the Engines.—“A heated imagination” may be defined to
be—dreaming the house is on fire.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[April
186S.
SONG OF THE DYING SWAN.
No surrender ! No surrender !
No Reform ! I used to bawl
Then, of weak points blind defender,
1 insured the loss of all.
Irish Church Expropriation,
In a measure due and just.
Would have been her preservation ;
’Twas refused ; and go she must !
Had we Tories but consented ;
Long ago to prune the tree,
Gladstone’s axe, in time prevented.
At its root we should not see.
Then it might have stood, to shelter
All its own— perchance to grow,
Ireland having justice dealt her :
Now it will be all laid low.
Wisdom’s lessons clean forgotten,
We persisted, o’er and o’er,
In defending what, was rotten ;
Lose both that and something more.
All our use has been, poor buffers,
Easing shocks to still keep on.
Ah, we put our trust in duffers !
Now our occupation’s gone.
THIS FLYING MAN.
LOOKING FORWARD.
“ Pray, don’t put too many Coals on, Many ! It makes me shiver
WHEN I THINK THAT IN THREE HUNDRED YEARS WE SHALL HAVE NONE LEFT ! ”
Sir,—There’s a man who professes to fly from one end
of the Crystal Palace to the other. What of that. Sir?
Nothing ; my wife and I for the last twelve years have,
once in six months, taken a fly up to town from Peckham,
to make calls. Yours,
Pippity wix.
N.B. Now, Sir, is the time of year for seeing the bloom
on Peckham Rye. Come aud dwell with me and be my
love, and sing. Rye fol de riddle, &c., as of yore.
The Fortune of War.—Prize Money.
A PARLIAMENT OF LADIES’ MEN.
The great event of last week, next to the Prince and Princess of
Wales’s visit to Dublin, was the meeting on the Women’s Suffrage
Question at Salford, in the Free Trade Hall, on Wednesday. If it
was not a perfect success, that was partly owing to the absence, occa-
sioned unfortunately by a bad cold, of the eldest Miss Bright,
daughter of Friend John, M.P. Train up a child in the way she, as
well as he, should go. Also, to have been completely successful, the
meeting should have been honoured with the presence of One who is,
not excepting Mr. Mill, the greatest philogynist in the world, and
as such would have offered it the suggestion which follows.
The capability of women to choose between political good and evil
being questioned, let it be tried. Ladies, try it yourselves. On the
basis of universal suffrage, or any other that you may prefer, choose
a Parliament of your own. Though unrecognised as a legislative body,
it will be quite legal—just like Convocation. Indeed, it will exactly
answer the very purpose which Convocation serves. Convocation
enables us to see what laws the clergy would make if they could, and
how fit or unfit they are to be intrusted with legislative power. Your
Parliament of unacknowledged legislators will also, by their debates
and conclusions on the various proposals brought under their consi-
deration, show us what sort of addition you, in your representatives,
might be expected to contribute to the Collective Wisdom. And in
the meantime it will perhaps do something more than Convocation
ever does ; that is, it may now and then frame some measure so sensible
as to get adopted by the real Parliament, aud passed into a law.
The Great Prize Conundrum for 1868.
Who will win the Derby this year ?
*** A correct answer in plenty of time before the race, and an
undertaking by the sender to bear all loss, will meet with prompt
attention.
Local Colouring.—Paint on Cheeks.
ORANGE-ISM IN EXCELSIS.
If Mr. Disraeli anticipates any difficulty with the Orange lot, Mr.
Punch advises him to send for one M. Agouste, at present engaged
by the Management of the Holborn Circus, but whom the patriotism
of that Establishment would doubtless induce it to surrender at the
prayer of the Minister. M. Agouste disposes of the Orange Question
in the most miraculous way. In fact, he declines to concede that there
is any question. The Oranges in his hands, or on his heels, or in his
plates, or wherever else he may choose rather to wish than to put them,
obey him with a promptness which suggests volition as well as volita-
tion. Whether they eddy idly aloft, move gracefully in mid air with the
regularity of the planets, or rotate before him in an endless little chain,
they seem to be moved by machinery rather than by a man’s caprice. The
sight is so remarkable, that Mr. Disraeli had better go and see it for
political reasons, and the rest of the public for the sake of beholding a
feat which Mr. Punch hesitates not to declare unique. He will add,
while about it, that the Holborn Circus has nearly supplied the loss of
Astley’s ; and, if the former were dirty instead of clean, and the boxes
were disagreeable instead of comfortable, the charm would be com-
plete. As it is, we must put up wit.h luxury for the sake of a capital
evening. There is a clown, too, who speaks out, and has some new
jokes, aud whose impudent persistence in mischief sends the children
into ecstacy. When Punch smiles, and the children laugh, all is
right. _ __•_
The Royal Smoker.
The Prince of Wales is known to be a great smoker. The Queen
it is said does not approve of this taste, or Her Majesty would have
given H.R.H. the magnificent Regalia now kept in a dry place in the
Tower.
Strange that the beefeaters who show visitors over the Tower are
the only people allowed to “ puff” the regalia.
Fetch the Engines.—“A heated imagination” may be defined to
be—dreaming the house is on fire.