Punch (54.1868)

228 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 23, 1868.

BAD ORTHOEPY.

Swell. “A—ugh ! A—dm’rable ! Ba—y Jove, ’perfect M’rillah, I declare ! ” Pert Model. “ Gorilla youbself !! ”
Artist. “ Murillo ! He means Murillo ! ” Pert Model. “ Then why don’t he Say so ?”

the ordinary proposal that “Mr. Speaker do leave the Chair;” a
position which however uncomfortable, I suppose he can only occupy
during the suspension of the “ Standing Orders.”

As the essence of female curiosity is a laudable desire for mental
improvement, perhaps, Mr. Punch, you will some day introduce into
your celebrated Parliamentary Essence a little explanation of political
parlance, which will so much oblige,

The Priory. Yours, very sincerely, Cicely Chatsworth.

NEW BOOKS.

Some writers seem to fancy there is something in a name, at any
rate as far as regards a work of fiction. Perhaps they think that
readers are attracted by a title, like plebeian millionnaires. We shall
not be surprised if, before the year be over, the following new works
are announced as being “ nearly ready ” for the public :—

Cories or Bladders. By the Author of Sink nr Swim.

The Harvest of a Busy B. By the Author of The Harvest of a Quiet I.

Big Bores. By the Authoress of Little Foxes.

Crack it Up. A Sequel to Live it Down.

Sweets to the Suite. A Tale of the Court; being a Companion work
to Tonic Bitters.

As Much Again as Half. By the Author of One Too Many.

Cap and Scissors. By the Author of Sword and Gown.

Winks through a Window. A Sensation Sequel to Lights through a
Lattice.

Qoodtempered Greengages. A Romantic Novel, written by the Author
of Cross Currents.

Paternal Solicitude.

Objection has been taken to Chief Justice Bovill converting his
son, who was a Lieutenant of Lancers, into a Clerk of Assize. Has it
occurred to the cavillers that the Chief Justice wishes to give his son
the opportunity of seeing what a real action is ?

POLITICAL PARLANCE.

Dear Mr. Punch,

How delightful it is to be able to converse with Politicians !
I often wish I were, not a butterfly nor a bird—nothing so ridiculous—
but an Electress! That’s a new word, Mr. Punch; but it will be
required soon, you’ll see, if things go on merrily with our dear little

Mill. “ When the wind blows, then-” you know the rest; and

every little puff is of service in keeping it in motion. But, dear Mr.
Punch, sometimes I tremble at the very thought of my impending
responsibility, for I am so dreadfully ignorant of Parliamentary chat.
Of course, I know perfectly well what is going on in the “ Deliberative
Assembly ” (as it is sometimes pleasantly designated) near Westminster
Hall. How can it be otherwise, when every week you so kindly set
' before your grateful guests that “Essence of Parliament” which is
so nicely adapted to please every lady’s taste, however exigeant it
may be ?

But what I cannot comprehend are the technical terms with which
you, Mr. Punch, are so charmingly conversant. Eor instance, how
funny it seems for people to resolve to read something “ this day six
months.” If it be worth reading at all, why not read it at once, and
have done with it ? I doubt whether a novel would be allowed to
“ lie on the table” so long uncut.

Then, again, some honourable Member, at his wit’s end to bother a
pertinacious opponent, moves a curious obstacle in his way, which he
calls “the previous question,” but never dreams of telling anyone
what the question is. Before Edmund (not the Confessor, but my
Edmund) popped the momentous question to me, the previous question
he put to my little brother Peter was—a most ridiculous one, to be
sure, but it shows what importance men attach to anything that grati-
fies their senses—“ Did Cicely ever make a custard pudding ? ” That
was his “ previous question; ” but Edmund is a little bit of an artist,
and I have heard if you wish to impress a painter’s heart, you must
show a lively interest in his palate.

I half suspect the “previous question” is, “Would Mr. Speaker
like to recline on the sofa ? ” an inquiry which would naturally precede