Punch (54.1868)

252

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[June 13, 1868.

MR. PUNCH’S DESIGNS AFTER NATURE.

THE DOVE STYLE.

A WORD WITH A YEN GEE.

A clever American gentleman, who writes in Tinsley, and who has
; told us some wholesome truths about sundry Englishisms, which we
frankly admit to be absurdities, has, in his last Paper, attacked us on
the subject of Theatres and Music Halls. We do not consider an
American a foreigner, but we will call this writer so, pro hac vice ; as,
but for his being a stranger, we should not have answered him. “ Let
them rave,” is Mr. Punch's motto, when abused. This gentleman,
after a contrast between the English and the American stage, and after
assigning great superiority to the actors on the latter (the samples we
get seldom justify his sentence), makes a stand for the Music Halls
and their Music Further, he intimates that Punch depreciates both,
because certain of his young men are theatrical authors. That is cer-
tainly not. his reason, nor is it a natural one, as theatrical authors are
generally much more inclined to castigate Managers than to fondle
them. As regards the music, minus the words, he has no further
objection to it, than that it is of a low type, despite the fact that most
of the very successful tunes are stolen from the French, or other sources.
The words usually sung are so utterly idiotic that it is hardly worth
while to express contempt for them, or for those who applaud them.
But for the Music Hall itself he has a hatred, which is so well vindi-
cated in the following paragraph, that he will spare himself the trouble
qf inditing another. This is from an article in the First Number of the
New Series of the Gentleman’s Magazine (which periodical he hereby
takes the opportunity of mildly puffing, by merely saying that the man
or Person who does not read it is guilty of Voluntary Lunacy), and
here is Mr. Punch's reason for his hostility to the Music Hall:—

“ The Music Halls encourage drinking. By an air of respectability, assumed as
a ‘cloak to carry on the trade,’ families of the bourgeois class are induced to fre-
quent them, and are thereby brought into social contact with the profligate and
abandoned of both sexes.”

Add, that the young are thus led into temptation, and frequently into
crime, and we have done. But we ourselves are quite willing to
“ encourage drinking ” to the extent of saying to our American critic,
“ Let us liquor up.”_

What Me. Home is and has no Longer—The Lyons’ cher.

My Dear George,

I shall publish this letter, but by Jove, old fellow, you
scarcely deserve it.

I read, in the Imperial Review, this,

“ We are informed that, at a public dinner last week the proceedings of which
were not reported, his Royal Highness the Duke of Cambridge referred pointedly
to the late caricature of him in Punch, which represented him as ‘ knowing nothing
of ’ Sir R. Napier. His Royal Highness declared emphatically that, so far from
such being the case, he wms the first person to suggest the name of the gallant
general to the Cabinet for the command in Abyssinia.”

Now, first, my dear George,, as to the manner of this proceeding of
yours, and then as to the matter.

Either the courage or the kind feeling for which your family and
yourself are distinguished must have failed you when you saw my
Cartoon. Else, mon vieux, you would not have waited for a publie
dinner at which to express your sensations, but you would have driven
down here, as you have done hundreds of times, and over a cool drink
and a cigar have had the affair out with me, and received the explana-
tion which you give me the trouble to make with the thermometer at
80° in the shade. Or, at worst, you might have sent General Eorster
to know whether you had annoyed me. I would not have chaffed him,
at least not more than was good for his soul.

But, as to the matter to which you have referred pointedly (that
means, I suppose, that you pointed at my picture), I can truly say,

I my George, that I had no intention of woundingyour feelings. I make
allowances for a Royal Duke who associates with old Generals, and that
kind of intellect, but, you ought to have seen, and have been sure, that
the Portrait which you have chosen to imagine meant mv personal
friend, George^ Duke or Cambridge, meant him in his official capa-
city, as Head of the Horse Guards. I like you very much, as you
know, and I believe you to be an excellent Duke and good fellow,
with the interests of your Cousin’s Army, and of your Country, very
much at heart. Moreover, are we not, as I have said, personal friends,
and have I not glorified you in many Pictures ? Do you not recollect
bow I applauded your accession to the Head of the Army, your deal-
ing with coarse young officers, and other merits ? And if I could
forget your good deeds, aud our private regard, would I have willingly
been unkind to the Cousin of my Queen? By Jove, George, I am
nearly getting riled in trying to un-rile you. Your health, however.

But, my dear Commander-in-Chief, business is business. I am
heartily glad to know from yourself that you suggested Napier for
Abyssinia, and from other trustworthy witnesses that you exerted
yourself strenuously to prevent that Indian officer from being hindered
by prejudice, Forsterism, and red tape, and that you were most laudably
prompt to get the Decoration sent out to him the moment we heard of
his triumphs. I rejoice that your own excellent nature, and my teach-
ings, have combined to induce you to see things in the right way, and
I have no doubt that you will signalise yourself still further as becomes
t.he Head of the Army. But you know that I have had for years the
most awful struggle with the Department of which, in my picture, I
made you the type. Remember the days of the Crimea. Remember
how I have bad to fight for reforms, which are even now but half
( accorded. Tell me, my dear George, is not Sir Robert Napier the
1 very first officer of Engineers to whom command has been given? I
am more thau happy that it has been your hand that has broken the
red-tape chain, hut the breakage is of the latest, and you know be^t
how the old fogies like it. I am quite justified in still considering the
Horse Guards very much behind the time, while I congratulate you,
my Royal George, in keeping up with it.

There, my gallant friend, I hope that explanation pleases you, and
| that you are vexed with yourself for not having come down to my
office, and had it out there. However, I forgive you, or rather, I have
nothing to forgive. Come down as usual, and the sooner the better,
for I have just opened a prime lot of weeds, on which I should like
your opinion. Bring old Eorster, if you like, for I am rather fond of
dim. Ever, my dear George,

Yours affectionately,

85, Fleet Street. fiPHNCSh

P.S. You are quite wrong in being obstinate against the bit of hrass
on the soldier’s shoulder. Read Hozier, and learn how that little defence
saved hundreds of men from being cut down.

Official.

{From the 1 ‘ HovA. ”)

We understand that Mr. Whalley is to be raised to the Peerage,
with the title of Lord Say-and-Sing.

The Pace that Kills.—Tue faster a man starts in life, the sooner
he gets into a hobble.