Punch: Punch (57.1869)

October 30, 1869.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 175 I

" Any Objection to a Cigar, Sir ? "

"Personally, Sir, none whatever; but as I happen to be a Director, why——"
" Haw ! By Jove ! Then why the Dooce don't you Make them Keep better Time ?"

ST. BARTHOLOMEW'S UNDER PROBE AND SCALPEL.

The Hospital of St. Bartholomew is just now being treated, as the
'Saint himself was—flayed alive.

It deserves it—if we may trust the Lancet's account of the way the
"casuals" and "out-patients" are knocked off, in that oldest, largest,
and wealthiest of medical charities and schools, at the rate, not
tmfrequently, of one thousand a-day on Monday and Tuesday mornings,
by a scanty staff of young and too often raw house and assistant phy-
sicians and surgeons, and at a pace, sometimes, which gives under forty
seconds per corpus vile. Patients, of course, must be patient, parti-
cularly when they get their advice and their physic—such as they are
—for nothing. But one cannot wonder that one of the medical officers
of the Establishment should lately have become impatient and kicked
under such a system, that the hospital staff should be tending to sixes
and sevens, the hospital school getting into disrepute, and the hospital
.physicians and surgeons en masse growing sulky.

Till this flagrant abuse of insufficient staff, time, and space, for proper
attention to the casual and out-patients is corrected, we trust that the
haying process now at work on St. Bartholomew's will continue, till
the hospital has been thoroughly laid bare, and forced to enter on a
course of cure which shall be more than skin-deep—which shall go
down to the roots of its constitution.

Fenianism and. Frenzy.

The clamour for an amnesty to the Eenian convicts reminds us of a
suggestion, proposed not long ago, for the abolition of the Lord-
Lieutenancy of Ireland. That office might be modified; indeed, with
some hope of advantage. Eor a Lord-Lieutenant substitute a Lord-
Keeper, and offer the appointment to Dr. Porbes Winslow. Then
Paddy would perhaps be quiet.

Hurra I So it Ought.—It is believed that the proposition which
has been made for a " Temple Bar " in the Cathedral City of Exeter,
will end in utter failure.

FAIR PUN.

The object of an advertisement like the following is notoriety, and.
Punch does not think that it has been illegitimately achieved. It is
from a Liverpool paper :—

THE Archbishop, Bishop, Dean, Prebendary, Vicar, Eector, Incum-
bent, Curate, or Layman, who (in mistake) took a SILK UMBRELLA,
from tbe front of the platform in the CONCERT-HALL, ST. GEORGE'S
HALL, last evening, is requested to return it to the owner, * * * * *, whose
name and address are very legibly engraved on the handle.

We hope that the ingenious advertiser, who, we daresay, is a good
fellow, will get his umbrella back. Of cours* if a clergyman has taken
it, he will, but all the laity are not as conscientious as could be desired,
or indeed expected, considering the excellent advice administered by
their spiritual friends.

Livingstone All Alive.

Sir Roderick Murchison is as right as Zadkiel ever was wrong.
Dr. Livingstone has turned up alive and well, reporting a new
discovery. Non omnia possumus omnes, so that we are all like the Pope
more or less, not excepting Mr. Newdegate himself, and there is one !
thing out of anyone's power to do ; but our great African traveller has
perhaps done what comes very near it. To no man can it be given to
set the Thames on fire. Dr. Livingstone, however, thinks that he
has discovered the source of the White Nile. More honour to
Livingstone.

Mohammed no Bottle-Stopper.

The delusion as to Mohammed's temperance is dispelled by the
writer of a most remarkable article in the new number of the Quarterly—
an article to be read, marked, and learned for other reasons. The
author states that the Prophet was supposed to have wrought miracles
by the aid of Jin (sic), and that his revelations were made in presence
of the Negus of Abyssinia.