Punch: Punch (60.1871)

March 4, 1871.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

85

Mb,. Lowe said that people who had wine in bond were allowed to
" fortify " it, and to refine it, but not to adulterate it. All right, of
course; but we are not the less obliged to Sib. J. Lawrence for
asking how " a highly injurious acid " got into sherries in the docks.
In an old song, a lady resents her husband's allegation as to her
age—

" Says she, it isn't true
Tou know I'm not so fortyfied, nor fiftyfied as you."

India is a place in Asia. It has Finances. They are in a muddle.
The Pbemiee obtained a Select Committee for fortifying and

a Papist, and the same Member's wish that Me. Gladstone were
one, as he could then do less mischief. "Manners is a fine thing,
truly," as Miss Notable observes in Swift's Polite Conversation.
Read by 137 to 51.

Friday— Lords passed the Princess Louise's Provision Bill, and
sent it to the Commons, by Justices Blackburn and Keating, with
their Lordships' respectful compliments.

South Kensington is not quite ready to receive the Stuffed Beasts,
and such like, from the British Museum.
A very good night in the Commons. Messes. Disraeli and Glad-

refining Indian Finance. stone crossed swords in earnest. The former preached on the text

The Attorney-General presented a Bill for repealing the Act
whereby Catholic prelates are forbidden to call themselves by
the names of places in the Queen's dominions. This is the
famous Ecclesiastical Titles Act, It was passed with popular
acclaim. It is now described as a mere protest which has never
been acted on, but which gives offence to the Catholics. If it is
repealed, they will still be liable to the law forbidding their taking
titles already appropriated by the English Church. There was
nothing particular in the debate, except Mr. Charley's gracious
demand why Mr. Gladstone did not declare outright that he was not

afforded by Mr. Punch's last Cartoon, and explained with much
causticity why the Premier was an Injudicious Bottleholder. The
latter was very indignant and effective. Both did all they knew.
Strangers in the galleries called themselves lucky.

Denial that Captain Hozier's alleged messages from the Queen
to the Heir Apparent to the Ceown Peince were anything but
private and family greetings.

The " Indian Budget" was the concluding exhibition of the night.
It was highly instructive, but very fiat after the Gladiatorial
contest.

ADDRESS TO THE WOON OF BHAMO.

" I mentioned some weeks ago that the "Woon of Bhamo, who
had interposed all manner of difficulties in the way of trade in
that quarter, had been removed, to the great delight of the
merchants concerned. I am sorry to say now that there are
rumours of his return to his post, and that in consequence mer-
cantile affairs are looking a little down. Opinions are conflicting
as to the value of these old trade routes."—Times, Indian Cor-
respondent.

"VVoon of Bhamo, yonder far,
, How I woonder what you are !

In those gorgeous Eastern climes,
In the columns of the Times.

Are you man, or are you thing,
Trading route, or petty King ?
"Woon of Bhamo, what you be,
No one can explain to me.

Are you fat, or are you lean,

Have you subjects, Court, and Queen ?

Are you bogy, sprite, or shade,

Or something like the Board of Trade ?

Woon of Bhamo, Bhamo's Woon,
You 're a most mysterious coon;
But, my "Woon, there 's one thing sure—
Merchants can't your name endure.

And as now they seem afraid

That your return will spoil their trade,

Don't go back, or late or soon,

But stop away, obstructive Woon.

A Very Proper Name.

From time to time we have had in London distin-
guished and generally dusky visitors—Chinese, Japa-
nese, Burmese, Siamese, Parsees, Manganese, &e.—who
have been remarkable for the striking oddity of their
names ; but, perhaps, the most singular instance that
has ever come under the public notice was in the case
of the Eastern prince who attended the Queen's Court
last week, and stands on record as " His Imperial High-
ness Higashi-Fushimi-No-Mia, Uncle of the Mikado
■of Japan." What Burlesque can beat this ?

Unpardonable Ignorance.

A shoet time back there appeared in one of the French
papers an article entitled Tout pour Vargent," in
which the writer attempts to turn to ridicule the willing-
ness of the English to accept pecuniary compensation for
the loss of the British vessels lately sunk by the Prus-
sians, and where an imaginary and facetious bill,
supposed to be delivered by Lobd Geanville to
Count Bismarck, is made to amount to the sum of
£300,000 6s. lid. !

Wanted Vby Old Time).—The fellow to "the other
lay."

THE "JUDGMENT" OF PARIS.

ome, look at this
Initial. Do you see
what it represents ?
The Ex-Emperor
Napoleon trying to
escape from a shell.
Yet he behaved
bravely in the
battle-field. _ Why
then this picture ?
Is it Mr. Punches
way to insult the
unfortunate ? No,
but he desires to
illustrate the ami-
able character of
sundry of the Em-
peror's late sub-
jects, of some of

the millions who the other day vote d for him. Be pleased to read the following
extract from a Paris letter in the Daily Telegraph :—

"Last night I visited a 'cafe concert' in the Quartier Latin. The chief attraction
there is an actor who bears a striking resemblance to the fallen Emperor. Napoleon
the Third. Dressed in a General's uniform, he sings a song, in which the late Emperor's
manner, gesture, twirling of the moustache, and so forth, are imitated with most mar-
vellous fidelity. Between every two verses of the song, which embodies witticisms and
allusions in their nature anything but complimentary to the prisoner of Wilhelmshohe, the
singer gallops round the stage with a long sword dangling between his legs, to the intense
delight of the audience, which unanimously shouts in uproarious chorus, ' Badinguet!
Badinguet!' ' Vive l'Empereur!' 'Encore! Encore!' And the Emperor who so lately
ruled the destinies of France is anew held up for ridicule by his caricaturist."

Just so. And that the lesson may not be lost, Mr. Punch points the moral
and adorns the tale.

NO SUBSTITUTES!

The proposed_ abolition of the right, in the case of persons balloted for the
Militia, to provide substitutes, or to escape service by the payment of a fine,
is founded on an intelligent regard to equality in the sense of equal justice.
If all men are not equal before the law, they ought to be ; and it is obvious that,
suppose a man in business, which cannot go on without him, is compelled to
serve personally as a private in the Militia, he must be ruined ; but it is no less
obvious that he suffers no greater hardship than his comrade the agricultural
labourer, who, although he gets his daily pay, must lose perhaps as much as nine
or ten shillings a-week. Nothing can be clearer than the truth that equality
as to any burden cannot possibly depend upon circumstances; and, howsoever
people may differ about Vote by Ballot as projected, there cannot, at least among
the thinking commercial classes, be two opinions respecting the contemplated
Ballot for the Militia.

A Dog's Epitaph.

Compton Travers had a favourite poodle. Its name was "Mop," or, as it
was more familiarly called, " Mopsy." Mopsy died. Compton buried it in his
back garden, and affixed a tablet to the wall over the grave. Being a man
of a classic turn and taste, he inscribed the following brief but appropriate
quotation, from Virgil, on the enamelled slate :—

" Cur non, Mopse. '