Punch (60.1871)

Mat 13, 1871.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 197

occurred. Me. Sant's diploma picture, a schoolmaster's
daughter (appropriately placed next to a birch-wood),
sets out how successful even the young can be in instruc-
tion, if they impart it affectionately. Me. Webstee has
a patriotic work calculated to stimulate the energies of
our gallant Volunteers, and urge them to renewed efforts
to become efficient, and thus gain the love of their
country and of His Royal Highness the Duke oe Cam-
beidge. Me. Wabd presents to ladies who have had the
reprehensible ambition to secure the affections of the
husbands of others, a terrible instance of the result of
such a course, an offender in that way being reduced
to sitting down on damp steps in the open air. Me.
Wells teaches us (and it would be well if some public
writers took the lesson to what they call their hearts)
that Me. Seceetaet Bettce is by no means the monster
he is often called, but, though not precisely an Adonis,
a gentleman of intelligence and suavity.

It was not to be expected that the Associates, as
younger men, who have not had so much experience of
the wickedness of the world as their superiors, should
be so earnest and impressive in the enforcement of morals;
but I am pleased to be able to state that their teaching
is all in an excellent direction, that Me. Feost points out
the inconvenience of an incomplete toilet when one may
be summoned into society ; that Me. Mabks has a well-
directed reproof for those who are slovenly and litter
floors with papers; that Me. Geobge Leslie represents
the propriety of an inferior showing thoughtful attention,
as evidenced by a charming girl pouring out refreshment
for her lovely mistress (no such attention was paid to your
Critic), that Me. Dubham has a striking illustration of
the advisability of sea-bathing ; that Me. Walkeb has
painted a fearful warning of the fate which will attend
a female who perseveres in unlawful courses ; and that
Me. Poynteb has put in the most attractive light the
charm conferred upon beauty, when we behold it minis-
tering kindness to the animal creation.

Having thus acquitted myself of my duty as your
critic, in regard to the works of the Academicians and
Associates, I reserve notices of other productions. I now
merely remark that our Continental friends have not as
yet had time to become imbued with the same instincts
of propriety, and that however desirable it may be to
warn persons of the female sex not to be carried to Court
in carpets, such hints might be left to the Loed Cham-
beelain. It is also to be wished that the Slave Trade
could be put down, but visitors to the Royal Academy
can do little in this respect, and it would be better that
whatever exposure of that system is necessary should
be made to Sib Samuel Bakeb. I forbear to enlarge on
this topic, for fear of falling into the error which 1
reprehend in others.

Now, Sir, as regards Art itself, as illustrated at the
Academy, I would begin by saying, that if I recur to
the times of the ancient Greeks, and ask myself what
was the Grecian Ideal-

[The answer which our Contributor obtained was, as
might have been expected, idiotic, in the modern sense
of the word. He will, therefore; forgive us for omitting
three columns of particularly instructive disquisition,
and will accept the assurance that he shall be employed
on different work in future. We subjoin his conclusion,
however.]

Lastly, Sir, I must observe that Refreshments ought
to be provided for the Critic. I would also urge that a
cigar might be permitted to him while musing on the
works he is sent to judge. On this head I am sustained
by Academical authority. I cite the following lines
from a new poem, the "Age of Stucco," by Henby
O'N ell, A.R.A. Of smoking, that good and wise man
says,

" Nor think the practice idleness destroys,
The half unconscious act promotes its joys,
Yet aids the mind in its attempt to chain
The thoughts engendered in the busy brain."

I have the honour to be, Sir, Your faithful Servant,
Winkelmann Fuseli Dobbs.

Progress.

A eecent philologist states that the word " German "
is derived from Gomeb. See how development has pro-
ceeded ! No one would now think of calling a German
a Gomeril.

PROMPT AND PRACTICAL.

Reverend Stranger. "My good Man, can you Tell me the Nearest "Way
to the Cathedral ? "

Scotch Cabby. " Jist Inside the Cab here, Sir."

THE DEVELOPMENT OF DRESS.

Me. Dabwin, tell a Tailor,

How the need for him arose ;
Did the laws of Nature fail her

To supply mankind with clothes ?

She, whilst they were Apes, had clad them,

Many an age, with copious hair ;
Stripped when circumstances had them,

Could she not re-clothe the bare ?

Gained Giraffe's neck elongation,

Through long reaching up to trees ?
Would not climate's alteration,

Have re-dressed us by degrees ?

Nature, it may be suggested.

Would the naked race in fur
Coats and aprons have invested—

Man and Woman—him and her.

But the Tailor's institution,

Daewln, negatives your plan ;
We defy all evolution

To evolve a Suit for Man!

Brutes, alone, from tails to noses,

Are attired in Suits which grow.
We make ours—no puff of those is

Meant, of course, in saying so.

N.B. Directions for Self-measurement, which would have been altogether
useless to the Marine Ascidian, or even the Anthropoid Jackanapes, promptly
forwarded on application to our celebrated Establishment.