Punch: Punch (69.1875)

July 24, 1875.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

SONG ON ST. SWITHUN'S DAY.

(Hawfinch sings.)

Sing St. Swithun,

Pace be with un,
"We've had too good call to say;

Rain a pourcm,

Tempests roarun,
All droo-out his live-long day.

Eest and bless un—

I'd address un,
If so be dead Saints could hear;

Say unto un,

" Doan't 'ee rewun
All the whate, and wutts, and bere.

" Though the apples,

In their chapels
As the Popish Priesties says,

Thee hast christen'd,

Hope thee bissent
Gwiun to souse us varty days.

" Hay and clover

Scarce got over
Carryun droo the showers o' rain—

Ha' compassion;

Spare for thrashun,
Plaze doan't drench and spile the grain.

H Never scatter

From thy water-
Pot no wus than gentle drops.

Doan't upset un;

For to let un
Flood our fields and swamp our crops.

" Turnouts, mangul,
Swedes, thee spangle

Like wi' glitterun dimunds pure.
Flush the roots up,
Plim the fruits up,

Gie 'urn what they wants—not moor.

" Safe the golden

Ears, a-holdun
Harvest-whoam in thankful frame

For fine weather,

Altogether,
Then we '11 prize St. Swithun's name.

" Kill the fatted

Pig; wi' platted
Straa whilst all our heads be crowned,

Banquet dish up

Fit for Bishop.
Let the good strong beer goo round."

RIFLES AND TRIPLES.

It is no uncommon thing at our rural rifle-meetings to see some paltry little prizes
" donated " (as our cousins say) by certain of the enterprising tradesmen of the district, who
want to see their names paraded in the newspapers. Prizes of this sort are generally fitter
for a raffle than a rifle-meeting, for they not infrequently consist of such small articles as
a cigar-case, or a corkscrew, or a pair of leather gaiters, or a bottle of old port. "With the
knowledge that the eyes of all the " constant readers " in the country are upon them and their
presents, Me. Stitchee gives a pair of his famed fifteen-shilling trousers, and his neighbour
(Me. Sctssaes) presents one of his celebrated patent seamless shirts; while Me. Puffee
perhaps offers a small photographic album, and Me. Dtjffee makes the gift of a pair of
hobnailed boots.

Everybody knows that prizes such as these are chiefly given as advertisements, and
everybody knows, too, that there is a proverb about looking at gift-horses in the mouth.
A walk through the prize-tent at "Wimbledon this year will show that such advertisements
have crept into the Camp, and, for the credit of the one great meeting of the year, it might
be well to keep such little things in check. Unless more care be taken in revisal of the
prize-list, we may live to see a Bath bun or a penny trumpet presented to be shot for, or
perhaps a box of pipe-lights or an ounce of lollipops.

IVulli Secundus—" Seconded by None." (New translation by the Member for Peter-
borough.)

AN OLD FRIEND "WITH A NEW
FACE.

{Adapted to the present times.)

One, two,
At the Zoo.
Three, four,
Rifle Corps.
Five, six,
Ritualist tricks.
Seven, eight,
Adulterate.
Nine, ten,
Fast Young Men.
Eleven, twelve,
"Bills" to shelve.
Thirteen, fourteen,
Flirting, courting.
Fifteen, sixteen,
Porci pepsine.
Seventeen, eighteen,
Ladies skating.
Nineteen, twenty,
Humbug—plenty!

THINGS INDIFFERENT.

Theee is common sense in the decla-
ration by the Rev. E. H. Plumptee in the
Times :—

"I, for one, would hope that there are yet
seven thousand men among us who have not bowed
the knee to this Baal of passionate partisanship,
and who would be equally ready to orientate and
wear a chasuble to-morrow, or to adhere to the
surplice and the north end, according to the in-
terpretation which Lord Penzance may put
on these conflicting and scarcely intelligible
rubrics."

Sensibly said. Never mind how loudly
the Baalites of passionate partisanship,
right and left, cry out that this is the
language of Mr, Facing-both-w ays.

POEM BY; A PARIENT.

On " Earth to Earth:'

Feiendly Societies, afore,
Used to be called a ugly name,

"Which now it won't be right no more
As Corfin Clubs to brand the same.

With wickerwork instead of wood
The corfins will be done away.

So much to a Insurer's good
More for to sack, and less to pay.

So, while the Missus rocks the kid,
I smokes my pipe, and bears in view

The cradle will but want a lid
To sarve the t'other purpose too.

eecnion in the eain.l

The Garden Party which was to have
been given at Holland House on "Wed-
nesday, was postponed till Thursday, when,
owing to the still unfavourable weather, it
took place in-doors. This information we
owe to an Irish correspondent, who adds,
that'had the Garden-Party at Holland
House been given in the garden on either
of those days, it would have been entirely
a water-party on shore.

me. Gladstone's awewaed question.

Theee may be different answers to "W.
E. G.'s question, "Is the Church of England
worth preserving P " but one thing is clear
—thenars are ready.