Punch: Punch (69.1875)

5±_PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 7, 1875

SUMMER DRILLS. ALDERSHOT, 1875.

Inspecting Officer. " Augh ! "What the Deuce is that Man—ah—doing there ?!"
Captain. "0, he's only Looking for his Saddle, Sir?"

JOHN'S BAD DREAM.

John Bull he sat in the Summer dusk,

And brooded o'er his Times ;
The air was sweet with the rose's musk,

And a sea-breeze shook the limes.
But his heart was hot. " I've a precious lot

Of bunglers," murmured he,
Or things better would thrive, 'twixt dead and alive,

On my " Silver Streak of Sea."

Ha ! Ha ! Ho > Ho ! » John looked, and lo!

A Thing was standing there,
"With lantern-jaws, and legs a-bow,

And a tangle of sea-weedy hair.
Who are you ? " quoth John. "With a laugh that fell

Like the rattle of dead men's bones,
Ouoth the grisly thing, " You should know me well,

For my name is Davz Jones !

A partner I in the shipping firm

That is hight ' John Bull & Co.'
I'm the ' Sub-Sea Branch '—'tis the fittest term,

For I manage affairs below J "
The deuce you do! " cried choleric John.

Said the Spectre, " Don't be rash,
For our little games you must see are one,

And our interests scarce can clash.

Of tars I have always taken tithe,

But my 1 perks' rise cent, per cent.
Since we struck hands. 0, my heart is blithe,

And my maw well-nigh content.
Auxiliars brave were the wind and wave,

But to cram my locker full,
Here's ho! for the shrewd 'ship-knacker' knave,

And hurrah! for the rotten hull!

For they came in hundreds who came in scores,
Your ' Jacks,' "—(John gave a groan)—

From the ' Coffia-Ships' which leave your shores

Bound for a port well known,
For Death, in the pay of Mammon, is there

On each o'erladen deck.
There are .few little specs so safe and square

As an unseaworthy wreck.

All know Britannia rules the waves,

And her ' hearts of oak' are stout,
And to send them down to watery graves

Is a game that pays all out!
Their deaths fill the black sheep's coffers full;

For me, I pick their bones;
So here's hurrah ! for the ship-knacker,

And his partner, Davi- Jones ! "
* . * * * * *

John Bull awoke from a troubled dream,

And he uttered never a word ;
But there was that in his eye's quick gleam

Which showed that his soul was stirred.
And if still his sailors to death are done,

With an eye to greed, or grouse,
Mr. Bull will have a very big bone

To pick with a certain House !

Kentish. Fire.

{For the Canterbury Wiek.)

No. 1.

If you wanted to attract the attention of any two'persons in Kent,
where would you go to for that purpose ?
You would go to beckon 'em (Beckenham).

No. 2.

What song would the Kentish labourer sing in October ?
" After the Hop Era 's over ! "

[Exit swiftly our Kentish Kontributor.

Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 30, Loraine Road, Holloway, in the Parish of St. Ma-y, Islington, in the Countv of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Jiradbury, Aenew & Co., Lombaid
Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published by him at No. 85, Fleet Street in the Parish of St. Bride,City of London.—Sit-jh av, August 7,i»iO.