Punch: Punch (69.1875)

August 28, 1875.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

83

TRIPS FOR TRIPPERS.

{Being a few Seasonable Hints for Vacation Voyageurs.)

sis is the time
of year to _ be
eaught tripping.
At this season
every one who
can packs up his
traps, goes for
his trip, and
joins the order
of Trappists and
Trippists. Mister
Indecision stays
at home; Mister
Decision is off
and away.

A Guide, who
will give useful
and valuable in-
formation in _ a
few words, is,
just now, most
welcome. Every-
one wishes to
give himself airs
— sea airs, of
course — and as

naturally as one would go to a tallow-chandler's for a candle,
so everybody goes to the sea-side for a dip. How many dips go
to_ a pound is a question which the bathing-machine proprietor
will decide.

Here is a direct line for'the Undecided. Go to Deal. It is really
a Dealightful place, Dealicious, in fact quite the beau i-deal of a
quiet sea-side place. You need not stop there long; for the Tourist
has this advantage over the Leopard, that he can change his spots
just as often as he likes. But how go to Deal ? Simply thus, and
let yourself down easily: leaving tbe bustle of London at Victoria,
go by the sea-coast line past Rochester, famous for—well, Roches-
ter was famous for his jests and poems, from the sale of which he
made so much money as enabled him to build Rochester Castle, as
" every schoolboy " knows,—past Chatham, famous as being called
after the celebrated Premier, who gave his name to that part of the
Theatre where he always used to sit, and which to this day bears
the name of the Pit,—past Faversham, famous for being the place
where the London, Chatham, and Dover Collectors request the
pleasure of seeing your tickets,—past Heme Bay, so called as being
the favoured spot where Heme the Hunter invariably went for his
holiday, out of the hunting season, and when there was nothing
doing at Windsor Castle,—past Margate, that is unless you stop at
Margate, now celebrated for what the cobblers call the " Awl by
the Sea,"—and then -to "Westgate, where no person fond of tran-
quillity would think of staying, as it is said to be " such a rising
place." Of course there are many objections to a " rising place."
At this time of year, the Session being ended, and the House having
risen, you don't want to hear of anything or anybody rising: it
sounds revolutionary. So take a glance at "Westgate (the porters
call it " Westkit," which suggests an easy costume of shirt-sleeves
and no coats), and pass on, via, Broadstairs, to Ramsgate.

Here pause. Go down to the Sands early, and take a front seat
to see the tide come in. You can book this a week in advance. No
fees.

The amusements here are—trying your strength, shooting at the
Shah (for nuts), hearing the niggers, listening to two bands playing
different tunes at the same time, both being a trifle weak in the
high notes, but strong in trombones and drums, throwing at the
sticks, taking galvanic shocks from a gentleman with a perambulat-
ing battery, seeing the entire play of Punch and Judy, and having
your likeness taken alfresco with such astonishing results that even
your best friends wouldn't recognise your portrait. Then you can
see the London Boat come in, and inspect the passengers, making
audible remarks on their personal appearance (on every safe occasion,
i.e., when the subject is not too big), with observations on the
luggage.

Having thus let himself down gently, the visitor may now let
himself down another peg (so as not to deprive himself of all his
wonted excitement at once), and walk over the cliff (which he will
probably do, if he attempts going to Broadstairs from Ramsgate, as
there are no railings, or posts, or anything to tumble against) to
Pegwell Bay.

Peg well, or the "Well of Mabgabet, corrupted into the Well of
Peg, and so into Pegwell. The story of Mabgabet's grim ghost will
be told the tourist by any one whom he may ask for the legend.

Pegwell is the home of the Shrimps. The Pegwellians live on

Shrimps, and by Shrimps; that is, they sell Shrimps, and the
stranger will buy Shrimps.

It was our luck to enter a Shrimp-seller's shop and hear the
following dialogue:

Visitor. Are these Shrimps fresh ?

Shrimp-Shopman. Fresh! Bless you, Sir, we can't get 'em fresh
enough!

The Aquarium mania has seized on Pegwell, and two men and a
boy, with five ladders, a wheelbarrow, and two spades, are hard at
work scooping out the sand, and doing whatever they can towards
making an Aquarium. The Shrimps object to the innovation.

Walk on, and pass the Coast-guard Station. Here is the place
for real sport. A splendid cannon is kept here for sportsmen who
come down to pot their own shrimps. A small charge for each shot,
which includes the powder.

The visitor may have a talk to the Coast-guardsman on duty,
without any extra payment.

The visitor will now return to Ramsgate for the evening, where
he can, if inclined for real fun, amuse himself by hiring a small
boat and going out with a supply of fireworks. He will sail, or row,
towards the Goodwin Sands, and there will send up a rocket. This
will be taken as a signal of distress, and will be immediately
answered by another rocket from shore. Then out will come the
life-boat and its crew, with a steam-tug, perhaps a spare man-of-
war or two, and the Harbour and Coast Police Boat, with constables
rowing. Now you can send up more rockets, or Catherine wheels,
or squibs, or anything, in fact, only, be off as quickly as possible, or
the fun of the proceeding may be spoilt. If they catch you, you
can say you were only lighting a Roman Candle to go to bed by, or
you can deny it altogether, and say, "Please, Sir, it wasn't me;
'twas t'other boy! " and point to any buoy that may happen to be
in sight.

Having thus finished a happy day, with real fireworks and real
fun, you can (if unprovided with a lodging for the night by the
Ramsgate authorities) go ashore, find a cradle in the shipbuilding
yard, and go to rest.

Having thus played your hand here, remember that, next day, it
is your turn to Deal. Of which place, anon.

SOBRIETY AT ..SOUTHAMPTON.

A gband Temperance Demonstration and Festival was an-
nounced to take place on the 23rd instant, in the Southampton
Cricket Ground, and to comprise a meeting under the Presidency of
the Rev. Basil Wilbebfoece. According to a bill of the proposed
entertainments, " a variety of variegated balloons" were to be sent
up, '' including ' John Bableycobn ' and a life-size elephant." What
a truly excellent name, John Bableycobn, for a Temperance balloon!
True temperance is shown by partaking of John Bableycobn in
moderation. For typifying this truth much credit is due to the
" United Good Templars " of Southampton, and their President, the
Rev. Basil Wilbebfoece. Nor is this all. At the foot of the bill
above referred to stands this agreeable and well-considered notifica-
tion :—

"KEFKESHMENTS of every description will be provided at moderate
charges by Mb. Clapham, St. Mary Street."

The Rev. Basil Wilbebfoece and the Southampton Good Temp-
lars know how to win tipplers from excess in " intoxicating liquors."
They proclaim tolerance of their moderate use. At the same time
they place those refreshments in competition for preference with
others which cheer but not inebriate. They express confidence in
ginger-beer and moral suasion as against compulsory total absti-
nence and spirits or beer. The Good Templars of Southampton are
the best that have turned up yet, and the Rev. Basil Wilbebfoece
has evinced a filial inheritance of the tact, sound sense, and genuine
sobriety which distinguished the late Bishop of Winchestee.

War to the Knife.

Mb. Fbank Buckland, in his vivid description in Land and
Water of the Manatee recently acquired by the Zoological Gardens,
says that " the flesh is considered a great delicacy; when roasted it
has the flavour of pork, with the taste of veal."

The flavour of pork, and the savour of veal!

0 Butchers! come down in your prices ;
Or else we '11 consult both our pocket and weal,

And import Manatee, which so nice is.

Test and Teial.—The Spiritualist announces the departure of
a Db. Test for America. This Db. Test appears not to be the
Doctor Test that "Mediums" can never stand.