DOI Heft:
April 16, 1881
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17750#0180
April 16, 1881.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 173
NOGGINS OF NECTAB,
(A Song of the Smock-Frock.)
[" Besides what I have said on then- case, I must also refer to another case;
PRINCESS'S AND FOLLY.
Branded, by Mr. Richard Lee,
is, up to the Fourth Act, au exciting
" drama of a familiar and ever-popular
to the case of those who are better known as Burton brewers, to whom we are ^-rM(^Mj^_ ";~'J%UrW/\xi pattern. With the Fifth Act the
indebted for providing us with one of the best beverages ever produced $■ $BNjj^a|g- r^|®Vy^ii full title should bo Branded ' or
since nectar went out of fashion."-.Eh Gladstone on the Beer-Tax as V^^^^i^///M' the Baker and the Banker,
affecting Brewers.']
Bill Gladstone all we, mates, med prize and exalt,
Consider'n twuz he took the dooty off Malt.
" Wnat naaishun fools we wuz ! " the Torees must swear,
" Fur to let uu gie we chaps the goo-by, so, there ! "
The love o' malt liquor Bill owns to ; for hear
In his Budget spache how a cried up Burton Beer ;
Said we owed them there Brewers a beveridge about
The best ever perdooced sence when Nectar went out.
What wuz't a called Nectar is moor nor I knows ;
But some sart o' strong Beer I be led to suppose :
Good old English homebrewed 'tis most razou to think.
0 the days that be gone and 0 likewise the drink !
Where now's the stone jug as once foamed wi' mild ale ?
'Tis a Beer that's been banished by Bitter and Pale.
Not a word in these days 'bout the Nutbrown of yore
And nobody never names " Stingo " no more.
Him as turns up his nose at prime Allsopp or Bass,
1 wun't noways gainsay but what that man's an ass.
But the best of all beers that there be under bung,
They ben't half like them there I remembers when young.
No wonder when now, wi' folks' new-fangled ways,
'Stead o' barley they brews out o' wutts, rice, and maize,
And sugar, and serrup, and stuff sitch as that,
Whereas, farmerly, ale used to sparkle, 'tis flat.
From tavurn to tavurn in vaain we med roam.
'Twur the best plan to brew for our own selves at whom,
And drink health to Bill Gladstone, for malt duty-free,
In what I calls Nectar—the Nectar for me.
Not none of your Clarrut, whereof, true to say,
You no forrader gits when you drinks it all day.
But sitch Beer in my boyhood as used to pervail,
Long afoor either Bitter was thought of , or Pale.
HOW IT WAS SETTLED (?)
{From a History of Europe to be Published in 1980.)
The statesmen were assembled for the last time. There were six of
them. The Frenchman pined for his dominoes. The German thirsted
for the Bavarian beer, which he assured everyone was not to be ob-
tained in Constantinople. The Prussian missed his gentle gambling.
The Italian and Austrian were both asleep. The Englishman alone
seemed to be interested in the subject under consideration, but even
he murmured something that sounded like " AVant to go back to
London to attend to business."
" What shall we do ? " at length asked the Briton, after a very
long pause.
A universal yawn was the only answer.
At last the Frenchman, who had been exhibiting signs of impa-
tience, took the initiative.
"Colleagues, my dear colleagues," he cried, "we are terribly
bored ! _ We have submitted to heart-breaking delay—to every kind
oi ennui.' Why ? Because we have agreed to nothing! "
There was a languid expression of assent.
Then why should this continue ? " he asked once more. " Why
should we suffer so much when, by pursuing another course, we
should escape everything ? Colleagues, we have agreed to nothing,
and tailed ! If we try another plan, we shall be in no worse position !
-Let as agree, then, to everything, and have done with it! "
In half-an-hour every decument in the room had been signed,
sealed and delivered, and the Turks had been cordially advised by
everybody to do whatever they liked best!
So the day ended. No, not quite. Just before 4 p.m. a cloaked
hgure stealthily entered the Constantinople Post-Office. It was a
disguised Ambassador hurriedly telegraphing his latest instructions—
to his Stockbroker!
Mr. Neville, who gallantly plays
the young Lancer, Roland, is accused
of murdering a Sergeant in a bakery,
is sent to the galleys, escapes, ulti-
mately sets up as a banker, and proves
his innocence to the satisfaction of
everybody eighteen years afterwards.
Row me 0! and Juliet. Lina—his wife, whom he calls
his Leaner, which doesn't sound
like his better half—is really his supporter, helps him out of prison
by the aid of a trusty comrade, Corporal Paul, capitally played by
Mr. Redmund, who, originally belonging, with Roland, to the rank-
and-file, remembers the fact, and hands him the file, with which in
" two two's " he gets rid of his fetters—thanks to his confetterate.
Miss Caroline Hill makes the most of Lina, and rouses the
audience to genuine enthusiasm. The dramatic situations are
effective ; but the fall of the chapel, which is apparently built up
from a box of big toy-bricks, is a very tame affair. Colonel St. Cyr—
Branded and Sodger'd ; or, the Review or the Piece.
the Sincere Colonel—finds a dignified representative in Mr. Archer,
and he is in great favour with the audience. It is apparently the
fate of a Colonel to be popular on the Stage just now.
The villains of the piece (awful people !) are repulsively played—
this is meant to be as complimentary as is the hearty hissing with
which they are greeted whenever they appear—by Mrs. Huntley,
Mr. Evans, and Mr. Estcourt. The children, Misses Katie Barry,
Katie Neville and Little Miss Bunch—daughter, of course, of Old
Mother Bunch, sent out of some Christmas fairy opening—are all
three very good children ; indeed, when compared with Mr; Sanger's
mounted troop, it may "be fairly said that, in the opinion of the
audience, the infantry is superior to the cavalry. But the Princess's
is close to a circus—Oxford Circus—and so a little equestrian display
gives a little local colour—perhaps a little more than is absolutely
necessary. Mr. Neville played
the Convict Soldier in Proof.
What with "Proof" and
"Branded" he ought to be in
the best possible spirits.
Mr. Toole, as Didimus Dex-
ter, has got some real fun in Mr.
Reece's Wizard of the Wilder-
ness. His conjurmg tricks are
marvellous illusions, and every-
one will appear at the Wizard's
Home as a welcome Wizarder.
But the most wonderful thing is
when sometimes at a Matinee
Mr. Toole executes the wonder-
ful feat which our Artist has
here feebly attempted to portray.
It baffles description, and as
Shakspeare, in one of even his
sublimest inspirations, has said, Mahyellous Matinee ; on, Toolf,
"Mustbeseentobeappreciated." in Three Pieces ! i
»
NOGGINS OF NECTAB,
(A Song of the Smock-Frock.)
[" Besides what I have said on then- case, I must also refer to another case;
PRINCESS'S AND FOLLY.
Branded, by Mr. Richard Lee,
is, up to the Fourth Act, au exciting
" drama of a familiar and ever-popular
to the case of those who are better known as Burton brewers, to whom we are ^-rM(^Mj^_ ";~'J%UrW/\xi pattern. With the Fifth Act the
indebted for providing us with one of the best beverages ever produced $■ $BNjj^a|g- r^|®Vy^ii full title should bo Branded ' or
since nectar went out of fashion."-.Eh Gladstone on the Beer-Tax as V^^^^i^///M' the Baker and the Banker,
affecting Brewers.']
Bill Gladstone all we, mates, med prize and exalt,
Consider'n twuz he took the dooty off Malt.
" Wnat naaishun fools we wuz ! " the Torees must swear,
" Fur to let uu gie we chaps the goo-by, so, there ! "
The love o' malt liquor Bill owns to ; for hear
In his Budget spache how a cried up Burton Beer ;
Said we owed them there Brewers a beveridge about
The best ever perdooced sence when Nectar went out.
What wuz't a called Nectar is moor nor I knows ;
But some sart o' strong Beer I be led to suppose :
Good old English homebrewed 'tis most razou to think.
0 the days that be gone and 0 likewise the drink !
Where now's the stone jug as once foamed wi' mild ale ?
'Tis a Beer that's been banished by Bitter and Pale.
Not a word in these days 'bout the Nutbrown of yore
And nobody never names " Stingo " no more.
Him as turns up his nose at prime Allsopp or Bass,
1 wun't noways gainsay but what that man's an ass.
But the best of all beers that there be under bung,
They ben't half like them there I remembers when young.
No wonder when now, wi' folks' new-fangled ways,
'Stead o' barley they brews out o' wutts, rice, and maize,
And sugar, and serrup, and stuff sitch as that,
Whereas, farmerly, ale used to sparkle, 'tis flat.
From tavurn to tavurn in vaain we med roam.
'Twur the best plan to brew for our own selves at whom,
And drink health to Bill Gladstone, for malt duty-free,
In what I calls Nectar—the Nectar for me.
Not none of your Clarrut, whereof, true to say,
You no forrader gits when you drinks it all day.
But sitch Beer in my boyhood as used to pervail,
Long afoor either Bitter was thought of , or Pale.
HOW IT WAS SETTLED (?)
{From a History of Europe to be Published in 1980.)
The statesmen were assembled for the last time. There were six of
them. The Frenchman pined for his dominoes. The German thirsted
for the Bavarian beer, which he assured everyone was not to be ob-
tained in Constantinople. The Prussian missed his gentle gambling.
The Italian and Austrian were both asleep. The Englishman alone
seemed to be interested in the subject under consideration, but even
he murmured something that sounded like " AVant to go back to
London to attend to business."
" What shall we do ? " at length asked the Briton, after a very
long pause.
A universal yawn was the only answer.
At last the Frenchman, who had been exhibiting signs of impa-
tience, took the initiative.
"Colleagues, my dear colleagues," he cried, "we are terribly
bored ! _ We have submitted to heart-breaking delay—to every kind
oi ennui.' Why ? Because we have agreed to nothing! "
There was a languid expression of assent.
Then why should this continue ? " he asked once more. " Why
should we suffer so much when, by pursuing another course, we
should escape everything ? Colleagues, we have agreed to nothing,
and tailed ! If we try another plan, we shall be in no worse position !
-Let as agree, then, to everything, and have done with it! "
In half-an-hour every decument in the room had been signed,
sealed and delivered, and the Turks had been cordially advised by
everybody to do whatever they liked best!
So the day ended. No, not quite. Just before 4 p.m. a cloaked
hgure stealthily entered the Constantinople Post-Office. It was a
disguised Ambassador hurriedly telegraphing his latest instructions—
to his Stockbroker!
Mr. Neville, who gallantly plays
the young Lancer, Roland, is accused
of murdering a Sergeant in a bakery,
is sent to the galleys, escapes, ulti-
mately sets up as a banker, and proves
his innocence to the satisfaction of
everybody eighteen years afterwards.
Row me 0! and Juliet. Lina—his wife, whom he calls
his Leaner, which doesn't sound
like his better half—is really his supporter, helps him out of prison
by the aid of a trusty comrade, Corporal Paul, capitally played by
Mr. Redmund, who, originally belonging, with Roland, to the rank-
and-file, remembers the fact, and hands him the file, with which in
" two two's " he gets rid of his fetters—thanks to his confetterate.
Miss Caroline Hill makes the most of Lina, and rouses the
audience to genuine enthusiasm. The dramatic situations are
effective ; but the fall of the chapel, which is apparently built up
from a box of big toy-bricks, is a very tame affair. Colonel St. Cyr—
Branded and Sodger'd ; or, the Review or the Piece.
the Sincere Colonel—finds a dignified representative in Mr. Archer,
and he is in great favour with the audience. It is apparently the
fate of a Colonel to be popular on the Stage just now.
The villains of the piece (awful people !) are repulsively played—
this is meant to be as complimentary as is the hearty hissing with
which they are greeted whenever they appear—by Mrs. Huntley,
Mr. Evans, and Mr. Estcourt. The children, Misses Katie Barry,
Katie Neville and Little Miss Bunch—daughter, of course, of Old
Mother Bunch, sent out of some Christmas fairy opening—are all
three very good children ; indeed, when compared with Mr; Sanger's
mounted troop, it may "be fairly said that, in the opinion of the
audience, the infantry is superior to the cavalry. But the Princess's
is close to a circus—Oxford Circus—and so a little equestrian display
gives a little local colour—perhaps a little more than is absolutely
necessary. Mr. Neville played
the Convict Soldier in Proof.
What with "Proof" and
"Branded" he ought to be in
the best possible spirits.
Mr. Toole, as Didimus Dex-
ter, has got some real fun in Mr.
Reece's Wizard of the Wilder-
ness. His conjurmg tricks are
marvellous illusions, and every-
one will appear at the Wizard's
Home as a welcome Wizarder.
But the most wonderful thing is
when sometimes at a Matinee
Mr. Toole executes the wonder-
ful feat which our Artist has
here feebly attempted to portray.
It baffles description, and as
Shakspeare, in one of even his
sublimest inspirations, has said, Mahyellous Matinee ; on, Toolf,
"Mustbeseentobeappreciated." in Three Pieces ! i
»