Punch: Punch (33.1857)

November 21, 1857.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI 213

They've shown that they ain't up to the pace required in these go-a-
head days, so now we '11 try our luck. Let them be off to Saratoga
or Sarah anybody they like. We conclude to take the business in
hand. Yes, Siree. We '11 begin by making one big bonfire in Broad-
way of all their books and bills and botheration, and the gallant firemen
of New York (far nobler fellows, as I have said elsewhere, than any
of the haughty aristocracy of England, or the Upper Ten either) shall
see that we don't set the City afire. Then we '11 take business into
our own keeping, and whip me for a fool if by next Pall everything
ain't slick and sHvery. No more loaning, and discounts, and protests
(except about our beauty, eh, girls ?) and all that blethenunskite,

as the poor Irish exiled patriots prettily call it. We will have the I But there stop,

almighty dollar naked in all its silver loveliness, and he shall be Don't doom your brother Nana Sahib to the drop,

wrapped up in no paper of any kind. That's our basis, our Decla- ...

ration of Independence, and we '11 fight any number of Bunker's Hills ! Reprove him in a gentle way, and don't severely scold him,
upon it. Had, Columbia, happy land, the gals have took your cause j And if he weeps with penitence, in soft embraces fold him;
in hand. What do you say to that, my Cats ? Say all you can to comfort him, should he remorse exhibit;

" Fanny Fern." But be not so hard-hearted as to swing him on a gibbet.

No, there stop, &c.

MERCY FOR NANA SAHIB.

by a humanitarian
Tune.—''Guy Fawkes."

First catch your Nana Sahib ; then, though you may speak voor
mind to him.

Oh ! pray do not harsh language use, or be at all unkind to him.
Point out how naughty 'twas of him with cruelty to slaughter
The mother and her little boy, and helpless infant daughter:

HINT TO THE ANTI-DIVORCE LEAGUE.

ll the Puseyite Clergy, and
their allies, roused into fresh
wrath by the announcement
that Mr. Justice Cress-
well is to be the grand at bi-
ter in Matrimonial Disputes,
have got up a sort of memo-
rial protest against the new
Divorce Act. Their docu-
ment reads like a sneering
joke, and will be received as
such a joke should be. Their
point is, that the Act of
Uniformity (usually one of
the grievances of the Church-
above-State party) ordains

Say nothing calculated to distress, or pain, or frighten him ;
Sing Doctor Watts's hymn to him, in order to enlighten him,
And teach him that according to the principles of charity,
His little hands were never made to perpetrate barbarity.
And there stop, &c.

Obdurate should he show himself, and of rebuke a scorner,
As it is possible he may; then put him in a corner:
Till he shall say that he '11 be good, and promise reformation,
Keep Master Nana Sahib in that weary situation:
But there stop, &c.

If for an inconvenient time, he stand there, contumacious,
Confine him to a lonely room, but one that's light and spacious;
And threaten, merely threaten, though you prove a story-teller,
:Mong toads and frogs and beetles, that you'll put him in a cellar:
But there stop, &c.

His spirit should these measures lad, as fad they may, of breaking,

that T^dergjman shall pro- ^ay hands upon his shoulders then, and give him a good shaking;

claim his approbation of the j ^in his co^e °f obstinacy still you cannot stop him,

marriage service which, ac-! iuen saF' "ut omy say> mm<i, that you Ll take him up and pop him.
cording to these interpreters, ; But lhere stoP> &c-

SereundTr aly ckcum- j ^ thes^means of correcting him in vain when you Ve gone through

whin?8 arguing13 with Tuch \ Theu ^k^*0' and teU 3l™ ) 0U 'U have nothing more to do with
gentlemen, and indeed, as
was said about Gibbon's

But leave him to the Bad Man, and let Bogy lly away with him,

was saia mou» ■ And take him to a wicked place, where nobody will play with him

irreverences, who can re- « . , t „ 1 r * J

Send not Cawnpore's gory butcher to the drop.

I'ute a sneer ? "—but as the

Divorce Act is, happily, law, and is not going to be altered to please | Though Nana Sahib may have done some deeds of slight atrocity ;
certain priests, whose professional whims have already been largely ; Jn fact; though he has far surpassed a tiger in ferocity;
considered, suppose they go on doing what they have been doing lor j oh, never hang him like a dog—for hanging him would hurt him
years past, namely, altering the Marriage Service. Mr. Punch has ^ preach to him, and leave him, if unable to convert him.
given away about a hundred brides, and has wept among a thousand And there stop,

bridesmaids and never once heard that remarkable service read through-
out, every parson exercising his own discretion, and mutilating accord-
ing to his own notions of decorum, tediousness, or modern manners.
The remedy is evidently in the hands of the Puseyites, and it is a little

unworthy of them to affect respect for Acts of Parliament. ANOTHER STOPPAGE.

z==^=== We regret to have to announce the sudden stoppage of one of the

largest firms at Poplar. We allude to the Leviathan steam-ship, that
CANNING PERE ON CANNING FILS. was obliged to bring its operations to a stand-still on the third of this

xz n month. A run was expected on the banks of the Thames, but this
feo great a stress has been laid by Lord Palmerston, Larl IjRan- calamity, by resorting to measures of the most vigorous nature, was,
ville, and others as to Lord Canning, and bia Colin Campbell fortu_aately averted. The fix of the Leviathan, we are informed by'
being the best of friends, that we are reminded oi the celebrated hue persons possessed of means almost as extensive as the ship itself, is
m The Rovers—a. production written by a very near relative of the only a temporary one. The moment the " pressure" begins to relax,
Governor-General of India, viz:- A sudden thought strikes me. lhere is but little doubt tnat she get otf ter difficulties, and go on
Let us swear eternal friendship. We have no doubt alter the very most swimmiDgly. j_n fact, business is announced to be resumed at the
strong assurances that have been publicly made, that Lord Canning, , beginning of next month, when every effort is to be made to ease her
the moment he saw Sir Colin, delivered, with due theatrical emphasis, prfcsent position. It is confidently asserted that all expectations, as
the above uoble sentiment, and then, retreating a lew steps and baring j SQOn ag the ship commences " paying out," will be honourably liqui-
their manly breasts, they rushed into each others arms. lou may be I dated m ful]_ It has a large floating capital at command, if it could
sure that on Lord Canning's side, ' the wish was lather to the
thought." The " eternal friendship " has already lasted three weeks !
and why, pray, shouldn't it last three weeks longer ?

The Universal Alphabet.—It has only three .letters, but they
are understood all over the world; viz. "L. S. D."

Motto fob. Queen Isabella.—" The pleasure that we love
physios (S)pain."

only get at it. The most stirring ^ergy will be brought to bear
upon it in order to surmount this passing difficulty.

A Cork. Saying.—You may take your health to the whiskey-shop
once too often, until it gets broken,,

Advice.—To a fool, Advice is like an Almanack—it goes in at one
ear, and flies out at the other.