Punch (35.1858)

28 PUNCH, Oil THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [July 17, 1858.

THE GRAND NATIONAL ROSE SHOW.

MEDICAL CONFISCATION.

Jfoto Htlti %0St-' • HoloC uhVOWf* ) J~J& The Medical Bill now in progress through

Hear/ & ttPj <tu ,f*L )I » In Parliament contains a clause obliging medical

ncaa, SO. coha n tfiSU ;?c&y'A II (men, both those already existing, who We paid

for their diplomas through their noses, and those
to be hereafter admitted, to pay, for compulsory-
registration, " such fee as may be fixed by the
General Council"—the future presiding and
examining body of the Profession. This clause
is an admirable provision for the regulation of
the registration fee, if it is the object of the
Legislature to empower the Council to screw it
| up to any amount that may suit their purpose,
j whether that of driving pocr struggling prac-
titioners out of practice, excluding from it
young men of ability but slender means, or
pocketing the money. Why should the regis-
I tration of a medical man's titles cost more than
the registration of births and deaths, unless the
object is to tax medical men for some exclusive,
or lucrative, or penal object ? If medical men
are to be punished, or plundered, or disentitled,
well and good; but if not, then perhaps some
friend of the poor doctors will move as an
amendment to the clause in question, that in
the words " such fee as may be fixed by the
General Council, every word except ' fee' be
omitted, and that before the word ' fee' be
inserted the letter 'a,' and after it the words
' of one shilling.' " Surely a shilling fee is quite
enough to ask a man to pay for obliging him
to furnish the public with a statement of his
qualifications, by the publication of which he
himself gets nothing whatever more than the
ability to maintain a lawsuit against any patient,
who will not or cannot pay him his bill, and
the chance of getting any practice that a neigh-
bouring quack may lose, in consequence of being
found to have no diploma, if there happens to be
any quack in his neighbourhood.

In the days of the Great Stench of London, the Naiades ran from the banks of Thamesis,
with their pocket-handkerchiefs to their noses, and made a complaint to the Goddess Flora
how exceedingly unpleasant the dead dogs were, and how that they couldn't abide 'em, indeed
they couldn't. And Flora forthwith, out of her sweet charity, engaged apartments at the
Hall of St. James's, and came up with 10,000 Roses to deodorise the river, and revive
the Town. But Venus no sooner heard of her advent, than (as if to illustrate the severe
sentiment "women do so hate each other") she put on her best bonnet, and went forth,
in all her beauty, to "set down that conceited flower-girl," who had dared to flirt at Chis-
wick, the Crystal Palace, Regent's Park, &c, with her own favoured admirer, Mars. So,
awfully beautiful, she came in a revengeful glow, and Flora's roses grew pale, and fled before
the roses on the cheeks of Aphrodite, and the poor goddess went back to her gardens, and
the pocket-handkerchiefs went back also, to the noses of the unhappy Naiades.

To the Lords and Commons.

If we were to put a paternal wish into the
mouth of Father Thames, it should be Mercutio's,
—" A Plague o' both your Houses,"—for then
something would be done to cleanse the River.

SWINDLING THE SOLDIER.

The Examiner, in an article on the rascalities at Weedon, which
have been lately exposed, mentions the curious fact, that out of
170,000 pairs of soldiers' boots in store, which cost the Government
from 8s. 6d. to 8s. 9d. per pair, sold by somebody in charge of them to
some receiver, wilful or unwitting, of stolen goods, 20,000 were bought
at an auction for about 5s. 5d. a pair by " a person named Levi." The
same contemporary, in the same article, states the equally curious fact,
that pertain soldiers were supplied with kits at £2 lis. M. per kit, of
nferior qualify, and not worth the money, by " a man named Isaacs."
How is it that so many equivocal transactions are associated withHebrew
names ? Persons may have been heretofore bribed to adopt those aliases,
by fanatics, for the purpose of maintaining a groundless prejudice
against a particular class of Her Majesty's subjects ; but now that
the Lords have conceded the Jewish claims, bribery, to the end in
question, can be no longer operative.

There are other rogues in this world than the posterity of Jacob, as
the Examiner, still in the same article, proceeds to prove, by showing
how a recruit is cheated out of his bounty. The recruit is promised a
bounty of £5 on joining his regiment. He gets, however, only £2;
the rest of the money being stopped to pay for his kit. The price of
that is £2 lis. U., which, added to £2, makes £1 lis. M., a sum
minus £5 by 8s. 9d. This 8s. M is unaccounted for; and is, of
course, pocketed by some scoundrel, authorized or unauthorized to rob
the poor soldier. Is this a person of the name of Shadrach, or
a similar name? Probably not; somebody of a Christian and even
aristocratic appellation more likely. But why promise the recruit a
bounty of £5, when you mean merely to give him £2 and his kit; the
kit not even worth £3 ? Why tell the man a lie ? Why keep up, on
tF?j %arkof the Goverament, the traditionary falsehood of Serjeant
Kites' Does any hooknosed money-lender, who discounts a bill partly
in bricks and bad cigars, exceed in dishonesty the authorities who

guarantee the soldier a £5 bounty, and pay him £3 of the money in a
vile kit. We are glad to see a statement that " the authorities have
agreed to present each recruit with a free kit." We will not say we
wish the recruit may get it, but we shall be glad to hear that he has
got it.

Courteous Consideration.

The Committee of the Royal Academy of Music, prompted by the
kindest feelings of loyalty, took the mo^t effectual precautions in order
that the Mass of Lord Westmoreland should be delivered in a
locality where it could not possibly be heard. With this generous
view, they selected St. James's Hall. Thus ingeniously, Her Majesty
was spared the infliction of listening to it.

an old fries d with a new face.

Cremorne (log.'). The British Aristocracy

Acknowledges my charms,
" They used to come in twos and threes,
But now they comes in swarms."

Swearing to the Fact.

" Ou est-ce que e'est, ce fete?" asked the Duke of Malakhoff of

the Cotjntess of S-.

"A Cremorne" was her Ladyship's answer.

" Cre-morne! . . . . ere matin!" exclaimed the astonished and
energetic ambassador. _

The Letter X.—In algebra, x stands for an unknown quantity. It
is pretty nearly the same with Beer. Double X and Treble X onjy
frequently stand for an " unknown quantity "—of boos