Punch (35.1858)

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September 11, 1858.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHATttVARI. 105

twenty Kings a week. Are we to he treated no better than savages
and infidels P

Zuleika. I shall go home to my pa and ma in Georgia.
Fatima. I shall go on a pilgrimage to Mecca.
Medora. I shall retire into a convent in Syria.

A FLATS PARADISE.

An Advertisement headed " Baths of Homburg," and purporting
to be put forward by persons who style themselves directors, whether

Katinka. I have my doubts whether the Prophet went to heaven on of the baths or the general arrangements of that watering-place, enu-
his ass at all. 1 shall talk to a Christian missionary. SSSS^S^J ?k ^v!™8 f tra.ctlonj thf ^^cent Casino,

All. Two thousand piastres ! Shame, shame ! fXwin - impudence to make the statement

[General scream and rush. ZtJLEIKA flings bon-bons at the PACHA ° .^coftams Saloons for Balls and Concerts, as also for the games of Trente et
fatima Shies kabobs at himA HAIDEE empties a bottle Of EMU | Quarante and Roulette, in which Trente et Quarante is played with a half Refait

and Roulette with one zero—an arrangement which affords the public an advantage
of 50 per cent, beyond that accorded by the banks at Baden-Baden, Ems, Spa, (fee."

It requires some immoral courage to advertise a gambling-house in
a country where such a place in the eye of the law, and that of every
■financier with a view to abolishing him, when— j respectable person who is not a fool, is regarded as a den of thieves.

Enter the Sultan I The directors of Homburg are as brave in their way as some of those

[Instant restoration of order and smiles. "h° ?reS#l°V£r °TUr comPanie5> f\d, a % °f

L J ! now m Her Majesty s penal service. But they might be a little

-- | bolder. Why should they not go on to say that the Casino of Hom-
burg affords, in the gambling department, a supplement to the waters,
enabling all parties to get themselves cleaned completely out ? They
do mention, among the advantages of Homburg, " perfect abstraction

de Cologne down his back, Gulbeyez snatches off his red cap,
Dudtj puts his pipe out, Gulnare breaks his spectacles, Ka-
tinka drags the cushion f rom under him,, Medora tears up his
paper of accounts, and the other ladies fly upo?i the unfortunate

THE ANGLO-AMERICAN LIGAMENT.

A Certain Proverb suggests the expediency of having two strings : from the cares of this world." Care is said to be the constant com-
to your bow. This adage may be recommended to the attention of the \ panion of riches ; and doubtless at Homburg, as well as at Baden-

Atlantic Telegraph Company. If the Sea-Serpent were to snap one
cable, he would not destroy the communication between America and
England if there were another left, still less if there were two or three.

The President expressed a hope that the Telegraph would be res-
pected in case of hostilities. Probably it will. Few nations would
like to fight the United States and Kingdom together, and if either the
States or the Kingdom should be separately at war, whosoever damaged
the cable would invade not only the belligerent nation, but also the
other. He would thus make enemies of both; and the fact is that—

" Whoever dares the Telegraph displace,

Must meet America and England face to face,"

which most Powers, however great, would think of twice at least
before doing. The Atlantic Telegraph, therefore, may be said, odd as
the phrase may seem, to be bound down to keep the peace.

Baden, Spa, Ems, and all the other Continental resorts of people of
whom almost the only honest portion are hypochondriacs, anybody not
himself belonging to the billiard-marker and blackleg class, would soon
be in the enjoyment of abstraction from the cares of this world in so
far as those cares are occasioned by his money, and are removable by
the abstraction thereof from his Docket.

SOMETHING TO SEE.

Has any reader of Punch the happiness to possess as his wife, a
Large Winged Lady ? And further, has this extensive, yet angelic
personage got a wardrobe ? If not, an advertiser in a provincial paper
has something to say to her. These are his offers :—

T^OR SALE, A LARGE WINGED LADY'S MAHOGANY WARD-
-L ROBE, 7 feet 9 inches wide, as good as new. Co*t £45. Two or three full
sized Chests of Drawers would be taken as part payment.—Apply (by letter) m. m.,
Post Office, Parliament Place.

We hope this introduction will be mutually serviceable to both
parties, and we should feel quite rewarded for any little trouble we
may have taken, if we could receive a photograph of the Large Winged
Lady.____

A MONSTER.

The Banff Journal tells a remarkable story about a boy who was
bitten at Fochabers by a savage cat, which flew successively at his
throat, thigh, ar d leg, to which it stuck hard. Our Caledonian con-
temporary adds—

" The animal was more of a polecat than the common domestic cat, being a cross
between the two, and was quite rabid at the time."

A polecat being an animal of the weasel tribe, a cross between it and
the ordinary cat, is a curiosity which would make the proprietor's
fortune if exhibited. We trust the boy was bitten by no other cat
than this hybrid, as according to zoological laws, it is an animal that
can have no existence.

Lines on Sir John Lawrence.

The title of a Baronet

If to John Lawrence you accord,
For what is any man to get

The higher title of a Lord ?

A Trifle from Birmingham.

A Musical Wag (emitting waggery at the Birmingham Musical
Festival) remarked, in reference to the Submarine Telegraphs, that
they would soon be all over the world, and so " the harmony of man-
kind would be in the common chord of C." Providentially the big
organ struck up, and drowned the indignant exclamations of the
auditors.

SOMETHING AUTHENTIC.

That organ of marvellousness, as a punning phrenologist might say,
the Univers, has published an account of another miracle closely
resembling the imposture of La Salette. The miracle consists in the
simultaneous appearance of a figure in white, and the eruption of a
fountain. The percipient of the apparition is a Gascon girl, surrounded
by crowds who saw nothing—which probably was all there was to be
seen. The Pope ought to confer the tonsure on the editor of the
Univers, by causing his head to be shaved as soon as possible. No
Pope—and no Irishman—ever perpetrated such a bull as the sort of
bull that is constantly made to figure in the cock-and-bull stories of
the Univers.

Motto for the One Policeman oe Herne Bay.—Unity is
Strength.