Punch (35.1858)

140 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 2, 1858.

literary lights, the planet Punch is weekly rising higher in
position; and while he continues to sparkle as he does,
there is no fear of another star getting tjje ascendency, and
taking the shine out of him.

SO FOND OF ASTRONOMY, THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS
BALCONY, LOOKING FOR THE COMET !

THE COMET HUNT.

TOBERMORY,

OR THE SANCTUARY OF SCOTLAND.

Oh ! wha's owre head and lugs in debt,

Gin sic a duel's a southron bodie,
An' just wad like release to get

Frae fear o' creditors and quoddie?
He'll mak nae noise, but tak' leg bail,

An' loup frae England's territory,
From Scotia's western shore set sail,

And gang awa' to Tobermory.

Six hundred miles frae London toun,

He leaves his victims a' behind him,
The souter an' the tailor loon,

And a' the lave, they canna find him.
He sune acquires a domicile,

And then he's in the category
Of Scottish bankrupts, who appeal

To native law at Tobermory.

The pawkie chiel kens Scottish law,

He gaes and gets a sequestration,
His debts are proved by cronies a',

And private 'a his examination.
There's nae disclosures there brought out,

In prent to mak' a public story,
Unless it gets too sune about

That he has gane to Tobermory.

Of creditors a chosen few,

Agree to tak' his composition,
An' by their votes he's carried through

The farce wi' muckle expedition
'Gainst a' demands he now may plead

Certificate absolutory,
Of ilka obligation freed,

Whitewashit clean at Tobermory.

His siller wad the ithers see,

Just let them whistle for't sae gaily,
To England sin' he gaes Scot free,

An' need to rin from nae bumbaillie.
They suld hae been mair wide awak',
Then they'd hae grippit him before he

The poor Comet has been leading a sad life of it of late. People have been
fairly hunting him to death. There have been nightly meets in London at the j Could start upon his northern track,

corners of the streets, and in fact the country generally has been a field in chace i And pay his debts at Tobermory,

of him. Packs of people everywhere have joined in the pursuit. He no sooner [ r., , , , - ■.

breaks cover than vou hear them lustily giving the "view holloa," and barking ' Oh ! when the spectre of a dun .

for'ard to the spots where they can best get a sight of him. No fox's brush has 1 T Haunts ony spen hrif hke auld Bogie,

ever been more hunted than his tail, although nobody of course has any hopes of i0Q?an,ny ^lana f|' r™>

getting hold of it. So long as he is visible he is chaced like any Reynard, and i
chevied down until he goes to earth, or rather sinks below it.

To leave this vulpine metaphor, All England has in fact been star-struck for the
nonce, and amateur astronomers have been plentiful as partridges. One might
almost think oneself in Iceland, one sees_ so many gazers. No sooner does the
Comet show himself in public, than there is a general shout raised of " Here he is
again ! " and every one turns out and rudely takes a sight at him. Like all great
notorieties his goings on are watched with a vast deal of attention, and there is a
daily record of them in the paper. An astraeal Court Circular is published every
morning, in which the Comet's movements are continually reported. Wherever
he goes he is attended by his suite, consisting of a crowd of followers who stare
at him. His tail in short attracts quite a tag-rag and bob-tail. He is like the
classic personage, and appears to us magna comet-ante catered.

Comet-hunters who have telescopes, almost take a glass too much in their
eagerness to spy at him; and those who are not blest with even spectacles to help
them, are nightly in the habit of straining their nude optics (propriety forbids
we should say their naked eyes) until, to quote the Irish poet, they " can hardly
see for staring." We don't wonder that the Comet looks so red in the face. Any
one would blush at being so much stared at. It would really not surprise us if
we found some fine evening that the Comet had turned tail, and had in modesty
declined any more to favour us with the light of his presence.

Punch for one can sympathise sincerely with the Comet. Punch having risen
as a " bright particular star," of course well knows what it is to be pointed at as
such. Since first Punch held a place among the shining lights, he has had experi-
ence of the nuisances attending it, and can feel for any body—human or sidereal,
who is, like himself, exposed to them. Digito monstari is all very well, once in a
moonshine; but it is no joke to be stared at every night in the way in which the
Comet and the planet Punch have been. Lesser stars might like it, to bring them
into notoriety; but Punch is of such magnitude that he has no need to be pointed

Bent on Conquest.—The Douglas Play-bill made the
other day the following curious revelation: " She Stoops
to Conquer—His Last Legs." Who could have thought
out as something worth the looking at. Brightest in the constellation "of the that Lovely Woman would stoop so low ?

An' send the prodigal bock hame,
To live awa' ance mair in glory,
Auld scores a' cleared aff—mair's the shame
For Scottish law—at Tobermory.

Rather Remarkable.

During the last month, Mr. Tobias Gordon, of Snigg's
End, near Buttermilk, Bampt.on, late of Thornley, Squash-
ton, and sire of the bellman of the same name, read through
the Morning Advertiser in less than nine hours and twenty
minutes. He is 72 years of age, can read small print
without the use of spectacles or stimulants, recollects
vividly the statue of George the Fourth at King's Cross
and, with the exception of believing in Mr. Spooner, is still
in possession of his mental faculties.—Provincial Paper.

a roc's egg in a mare's nest.

" Some years ago," says Professor Schleiden, of
Jena, " a Professor at Wurzburg wrote a book called the
Northern Greece, in which he maintained that Ireland was
the Cradle of the human race." His theory was fortified by
the fact that her king for years was called Captain Rock.