Punch (35.1858)

December 18, 1858] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

249

FRENCH FASHIONS FOR DECEMBER.

{From Le Follet.)

With regard to the general character of dress in Paris there is
nothing particularly new. Manacles are still much worn, in some
cases upon the wrists, while with other persons, especially those who are
thought to be meditating a visit to the English Life-Baths (cele-
brated by M. de Montalembekt), those ornaments are found attached
to the ancles. The gag is a good deal in requisition, and is worn after
the fashion of a respirator. For domiciliary visits the robe a la
Tartvfe is in favour. The mask is much worn, especially at receptions
at the Tuileries. Travelling dresses, a la Cayenne, continue to be
ordered, but they are not much seen about the streets. Several
changes are, however, shortly to be heard of, and whispers in the
fashionable circles speak of a novelty, called L'Epee de Damocles,
which already creates a great sensation at the Elysee. A new cap, of
classic origin and character, is said to be likely to be introduced ; but
there is difference of opinion as to its probable colour, some antici-
pating that red will be de rigueur, while others think that entire liberty
will be the order of the day.

DAMMING A BROOKE.

John Bright, that colonies are a bore and an expense, and a nuisance •
and we really can't be dictated to by Manchester, and Liverpool and
blasgow, and Belfast, and places of that kind; and we have no
doubt, Kajah Sir James Brooke is a very estimable person, and all
that sort ot thing, but he doesn't belong to our party, and we don't see
why we should go out of our way to be civil to him ; and—and-in
short, we prefer to wash our hands of Sarawak altogether, unless the
House of Commons thinks otherwise: and, in that case, of course we
shall bow to the House of Commons, as we always do, you know.

Bravo, my Lord Derby !

There are so many James Brookes in the world,—so many men
looking out for pirate tribes to put down, and savage races to civilise,
and straggling villages of a few hundred inhabitants to convert into
well-ordered towns with their twenty-five thousands of population, and
export trades to create out of nothing, and violence to extirpate by
law, and heathendom to drive out by Christianity,—that it is clear we
must beware how we deal with one of this intrusive and troublesome
sort, lest we should have a hundred on our hands before we know
where we are. Undertakings such as Sir James Brooke's are
certainly, as you say, "extremely inconvenient." Colonies are costly
things. It costs a great deal to set one going, still more to keep it
going. And, as for dependencies, we have more than we know what
to do with already. And yet here comes a man, who has made a
capital and a trade, has got the sovereignty of a valuable territory, full
of ores and dye-woods, of coal and antimony, of timber and spices, and
the Lord knows what besides, and will insist on throwing it into the
over-laden lap of poor Britannia, whose hands are so full already she
doesn't know which way to turn.

It really is "extremely inconvenient;" and then the whole thing has
been managed so very irregularly; conducted (as one may say) with
quite a shameful disregard of official ways and forms; no diplomacy,
at least, none of our own highly-paid, cut-and-dry, decorous, embroid-
ered-coat and-gold-laced-trousers diplomacy, properly accredited from
Downing Street; no fighting, that is, no recognised, expensive,) . c. put^tptp to twt? t smi?«

protracted, regular warfare , no overreaching, or destruction of] A. bAWttBlLdt 1u LO.iL LiKULihts.

savages; no official staff, governor, secretary, treasurer, and so forth; | a Correspondent of the Times, in reference to the fatal fashion of

no correspondence with " The Office ; " no despatches ; no minutes ; no Crinoline, says :_

blue-books; no red tape ; nothing, in fact, but a resolute Englishman, 1
with a sturdy yacht's crew, a strong will, a noble purpose, and a few
six-pounders, going in the most unheard-of way, and establishing a
government, and building a town, and creating a trade, and attracting
settlers ; and doing all this quicker, and cheaper, and better, than
" we " have any idea of doing it "in the Office."

Really, you know, if this sort of thing is to be encouraged, there's
no knowing where it may end !

And then his title isn't quite clear. Of course Penn's was without
a flaw; and our Indian titles, from that to Bengal, Bahar, and Orissa,
in the days of Cltve, to that to Oude, in the days of Dalhousie, are
free from stain or blemish. We are so very particular, you know. We
never swallowed any camels, certainly not. And then, as for the coal
your City people make such a fuss about,—well, after all, you know,
we don't know much about it, and we have lots of coal at home, and
there's only the carriage of our Wallsend and Welsh half round the
Globe, and this Sarawak coal mayn't be such very good coal after all.
And as for the antimony, one really don't know what use antimony can
be, except as an emetic, and there don't seem to be any want of it for
that purpose just_ now. And as for the Dutch being eager to get
possession of the island, and keep the trade to themselves; well, after
all, the trade's no such great things; only £300,000 a-year, or there-
abouts, just now; and what's that to a country like England ? And
then, as to the necessity of an intermediate telegraph station for
Singapore or China; really, you know, it's quite premature to talk of
that sort of thing; who knows if we ever shall have a telegraph in
those parts ? and if we have, I dare say we shall find means of laying
it without Sarawak. And as to the protection of the British subjects
who have settled there; of course it was their own look out. And, in
short, we don't like Rajah Brooke; and we don't mean to encourage
this irregular, unofficial, " shirt-sleeves " sort of colonising and
civilising, and Christianising; and we rather agree, on the whole, with

" If fashion is still to be the tyrant murderer of our fair young girls and blooming
matrons, let fashion also insist upon high fenders and protecting guards, or else
invisible fires, and covered h-ind lamps instead of hand candlesticks. But let me
ask what are fathers, husbands, and brothers doing ? Truly they help to destroy
those nearest and dearest to them."

Certainly ; and there can be no doubt as to what course we ought to
pursue. We must instantly abolish fires, and take to stoves. Selfish
ideas of comfort must be sacrificed ; what is the cheerfulness of a
blazing fire when it involves the risk of blazing dresses ? The idea of
any retrenchment of the dresses is only mentioned to be declared pre-
posterous. Our countrywomen must follow fashion at all hazards,
even at the peril of being burnt alive; and if we would secure them
from that shocking fate, we must generously resign our jolly fires.

L

% -

yeiNational Bragging.

A Frenchman was eiaiatiating on the good wish of Henri Quatre
that the day might cose when _ every Frenchman would have his
pot-aii-feu with a good fat chicken inside it.

" Why, we 've got far beyond that already," exclaimed a lusty
Englishman, who had evidently more love of patriotism than knowledge
of French; " I can tell you, Monsieur, search all England through, and
there is scarcely a respectable family but where you will find that on
Michaelmas Day " Chacun a son Goose!'''

The Frenchman had not another word to say.

motto for me. carden of barnane.
I am more an antique Sabine than a Celt."

Hamlet—with a difference.