Punch: Punch (54.1868)

16

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[January 11, 1368.

EDWIN AND ANGELINA

ARE UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT IT IS STILL “RAINING CATS AND DOGS;” WHEREAS THE SUN HAS BEEN SHINING BRIGHTLY FOR

the; LAST TWENTY MINUTES. CABBY’S DELIGHT AT THIS TRANSCENDS ALL BOUNDS.

OUR COMBUSTIBLES OE COMMON LIFE.

In the good old days departed,

Before Chemistry had started
On the fast career of progress which ’tis travelling at now.
There was naught that went bang louder,

Lid more damage than gunpowder.

We have things that far exceed it both in violence and row.

Modern chemic science culminates
Not only in the fulminates
Of mercury, and silver more destructive of the two ;

But, in compounds less expensive,

And in use thus more extensive
Than are those which can be got but by comparatively few.

There’s the chloride of ammonium,

To be named with small encomium,

And the iodide of nitrogen, employed that ne’er have been,

For they both consist unsteadily ;

Unlike girls, go off too readily :

But in common application we have nitro-glycerine.

Then the public hold hath gotten
Of that other stuff, gun cotton,

Which for sport, or war, or mining, is a substance good at need.
When our housewives used to sew up
Cot'on garments, of a blow up
With that peaceable material they little dreamt indeed.

We ’ve all sorts of little matches,

To be fired by rubs or scratches,

And many of them, off, when they are trodden on, will go,

These are ail so many dangers
Whereunto our sires were strangers :

And moreover, add to these the spirit-oils they didn’t know.

There are hydrocarbons various.

Naphtha volatile, precarious.

There are paraffine and petroline that light unsafe afford ;

And in warehouses these matters,

Which, inflamed, blow all to shatters.

Are in quantities immense amid our crowded cities stored.

Would the Romans and Athenians,

Had they had amougst them Fenians,

And explosive preparations and combustibles that flare.

Not, with wise and prompt decision.

Have made competent provision
Against having docks, marts, arsenals, and houses blown in air ?

LAST ECHO OF CHRISTMAS.

All her foreign Representatives are ordered to come rushing into
Russia. The Telegraph is severe, and hints that Russia either means
mischief, or wants to make Europe think she does. Christmas is over, }
but let us be charitable for a minute longer. Is there not fearful dis- ■
tress in the South of Russia? Are not contributions being begged for
in England in aid of the starving Russians ? Let us hope, dear Tele- j
graph, that the question for tins council is not Turkey, but Beet.
Russia is not desirous to prepare for murdering foreigners, but to take
Steppes to save her own children. And this is the last bit ot charity
we mean to indulge in for a long time. Who’ll tread on the tail of our
coat ?

Darkness that May be Smelt.

We don’t exactly know what, Mr. Matthew Arnold means by
“Sweetness and Light,” but we can give that accomplished gentleman
a capital illustration of the opposite of both—London Gas.

Motto for Travellers by ’Russes.—“ In Omnibus Curilm.”