Punch: Punch (54.1868)

156 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [Apbil U, 1868.

LITTLE BIT OF SENTIMENT.

(for foxhunters only.)

THE PRIME PREEMIEER.

’Tis thought, by them that sets their mind
On lofty state and station,

That fine amusement they would find
In rulun of the nation.

But I take it that what wi’ work, worry, and fuss.
No slavery’s moor severe ;

And there’s nobody I oodn’t like to be wuss
Than the Prime Preemieer.

Start young in Parliament ’a must
In trade as politician,

And all his youth fret out there, fust,

Elis gizzard with ambition.

By the time that he gets to the top o’ the tree,

To an end his lease med be near—

A poor farmer I’d sooner a precious deal be
Than a Prime Preemieer.

But what to me most strange appears
Is, whether Whig or Tory,

He mostly reaps but scoffs and sneers,

Instead o’ praise and glory.

Purty nigh all the peapers aud slashun reviews
Pursues un wi’ gibe and wi’ jeer :

So I’d fur rather wear hobnailed boots than the shoes
Of a Prime Preemieer.

When, arter all your pains and care.

You finds yourself m clover,

You don’t bide hardly no time there
Afore they votes you over.

To be badgered and bullied and kicked o’ one side,
Arter labourun year by year;

Why, what honest man ’ood, wi’ a mossel o’ pride.
Be a Prime Preemieer ?

The Broad Sanctuary, Westminster.

Church Parsons, High and Low,

What sneaking spite they show,

Against plain, honest, outspoken Dean Stanley !
They suggest that he’s a pal
Of the Bishop of Natal :

Plow Divines are apt to hate a man that’s manly !

Non-Sporting Man. “Why, Bob, old Fellow, how Wretched you Look!
And what are all these Boots and Things about for ? ”

Bob. “Well, they ’re going to be Put Away to-morrow for Seven
Months. Isn’t that enough to make a Fellow look Wretched?”

CONUNDRUM.

Q. It is made with a train, it travels with a train, it is of
no use to a train, but a train cannot travel without it.

A. A Noise.

AN EXPLOIT IN ABYSSINIA.

{By a Special Correspondent.)

The personal prowess of our countrymen is very remarkable. It is
wonderfully exemplified in the exploits which, when occasion takes
them to India and other partially civilised or uncivilised countries, they
are wont to perform upon the natives. In particular, they are uncom-
monly good hands at kicking those who offend them. You may call
this an Irishism. Never mind. Thinking of that, reminds us to say
that, amongst those countrymen of ours who are especially wont to
astonish the natives by the feats of the foot abovenamed, we by no
means intend not to include, but, on the contrary, do somewhat
expressly class Irishmen. It would not at all surprise us to learn that
the following narrative. was penned by a hand, of which, in national
parlance, it might be said that the natural weapon is the shillelagh:—

‘ ‘ Before leaving Ad Abagha we had rather an amusing episode with the natives,
which might, however, have proved costly. Being averse to start at so early an
hour as seven o'clock, we did not strike our tents till after the troops had left, and
were left alone in our glory on the top of the hill. A crowd of the Aborigines, on
plundering bent, rapidly collected, and the eyes of an Argus, and the hands of a
Briareus were required to protect our numerous chattels. AU at once 1 perceived a
lusky individual sloping off with a bridle. I gave chase, and overtook the thief.
Now, my stature is diminutive, and my physique anything but formidable, but,
like Mr. Jaogers’s clerk, I have the greatest regard for portable property, and
unlike Othello, I deny that ‘ he who steals my purse, steals trash.’ Moreover, my
blood was up at the audacious theft, so I made a furious onslaught on my stalwart
but fortunately unresisting adversary, and kicked him from top to bottom of the
aill with the greatest gusto.”

The hero of the adventure above related is a gentleman attached to
the Abyssinian Expedition, and connected with the London Press.
His entire letter impinges on the mind’s ear with a Hibernian reso-
nance, especially notable in the quotation, first of Iago's words as those
of Othello, and next in assigning a dissent from the valuation of a purse

expressed in them as a reason for objecting to being robbed of a bridle.
As an illustration, however, of the alacrity at kicking, characteristic of
our countrymen, comprehensively considered, the foregoing extract is
splendid. No matter how stalwart and gigantic the native maybe
who displeases one of them, nor how slight and diminutive may be that
countryman of ours, English or Irish, the latter never experiences the
least difficulty in kicking the former down-stairs or down-hill, and not
only does it with the greatest ease, but also, again to quote an example
of phraseology deliciously distinctive, “ with the greatest gusto.” But
the writer who thus racily expresses himself, his stature being diminu-
tive, aud his physique anything but formidable, states, not merely that
he kicked his stalwart adversary down a bill, bat that he kicked him
from the top of a hill to the bottom. Can this gentleman’s nationality
be doubtful ?

FASHIONABLE MODESTY.

Considering the follies which are put forth in Le Follet, we rarely
find much pleasure in the news which comes from Paris in the matter
of the fashions. Here, however, is a statement which most thoroughly
delights us :—

“The dress is not worn so low as last year, either on the back or front.”

It sadly lowers one’s opinion of the sense of the fair sex to consider
that, with many women, modesty is nowadays a matter of mere fashion.
For many a month past dresses have been worn so low as barely to be
decent. Ladies who of late have been modestly attired, could lay no
claim whatever to being in the fashion. Decency, however, is once
more to be the mode, and, as few ladies have the courage to disobey
their dressmakers, we may hope that for a while, until the fashion
changes, we may be able to dine out, and even go to dances, without
blushing for our partners.