Punch: Punch (54.1868)

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WOMAN, PAINTED BY HER MASTER.

Scene—The Street.

Brown. Woman’s Right to Vote. That’s up again. There has been
a meeting at Manchester.

Jones. They ’re always having meetings at Manchester.

Brown. A profound remark. Well, this one was attended by an
Archdeacon, a Member of Parliament, and Mr. Chisholm Anstey.
It was to have heard a speech from Miss Bright, the eldest daughter
of the Member for Birmingham, but she was unfortunately ill. How-
ever, the Mayoress op Salpord spoke, and Miss Becker.

Jones. I hope she kept up her pecker.

Brown. Now I call that true wit. Mr. Anstey has discovered that
by the old law women have the vote already.

Jones. I am opposed to the whole humbugging botheration.

Brown. Stated with grace and precision. Might one ask why F

Jones. Women, I take it, are divided into three lots, maids, wives,
and widows. There’s the divorced ones, but they needn’t count, as a
woman who hasn’t the sense to keep a husband when she’s got him
can’t be fit to make laws.

Brown. A specimen of the generalisation dear to sundry. But let
us take the three classes. Go on.

Jones. There’s Maids. Now I ask you, would you go giving a vote
to a girl who don’t know the Chancellor from the Chancellor of the
Exchequer, and who would vote that green was blue to go to a ball, or
eut out a rival flirt ?

Brown. Yonr estimate of the young ladies of England does you credit.
Well, as to Wives?

Jones. That’s a hundred times worse. If the wife’s to vote as her
husband tells her, that’s only giving him two votes; and if she votes
against his orders, it’s a case for two establishments, or two black
eyes, according to his resources.

Brown. Sir, your chivalry is exemplary. It is quite impossible, of
course, that a well-informed woman should exercise legitimate influence
upon her husband ?

Jones. What! Would you reduce Englishmen to a set of henpecked
humbugs, tied to their wives’ apron-strings ?

Brown. The question is convincing. About Widows ?

Jones. Why, I wouldn’t care about their having it, at least after a
certain age, say sixty. Young widows are always looking out to catch
a parson or a soldier, and I think the Church and the Army have
influence enough. But I object to letting in the principle.

Brown. If I admire anything more than close argument, it is honour-
able consistency. I believe you have stated the case fully, as against
the women, and I wish that you had attended the Manchester meeting,
and crushed the affair.

Jones. You flatter me, old fellow, but if 1 have one thing more than
another about me, it’s the power of grasping a whole question, and
treating it in an English and practical manner. Good bye. [Exeunt.

HYMEN HIMSELF AGAIN.

“ Marriages ” throughout Lent’s season.
Few are in the papers found ;

“ Births ” and “ Deaths,” as if no reason
Could check either, still abound.

As the rushing out of waters
That were long by floodgates pent,

Lo the sons of men, and daughters.
Getting married after Lent!

Oh !

Dear Sir,—Here you are at last:—

On the bank of what Canal would be the best place for felo-de-se ?
The Suez Canal; because the act would be evidently one of Suez-side.
(All well at home, Thank you.) Yours Tommy.

Overheard.—It was not such a very bad pun of Jocasta’s, when,
on Bertram showing her a portrait by Say in the National Portrait
Exhibition, she remarked that it must be “ a speaking likeness.”

PUNCH, OR THE LONUON CHARIVARI.

"April 25, 1868.

FLICKERS WAS AT WORK TILL THE LAST MOMENT ON HIS PICTURE!

[For further details, see all the Penny Papers.