Punch: Punch (54.1868)

ist

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[April 25, 1868.

TEE PDANS OF FOREIGN PRIESTS.

The Ultramontane Osservatore Romano is absurdly cock-
a-wkoop on the subject of Mr. Gladstone’s Disestablish-
ment of the Irish State Church Resolution. Similar
journals in Spain express the same ridiculous exultation.
A Correspondent of the Post, writing from Seville, says :—

“ All the Spanish papers are exulting over Gladstone's victory,
and I was gravely assured by a priest yesterday that all'the aristocracy
of England were Catholics at heart, but that it was only their fear of
the Queen that prevented their openly acknowledging the Catholic
religion.”

But what will our ultramontane neighbours say when
we tell them that Mr. Whalley voted on the side of
Gladstone, and has had to apologise, therefore, to Irish
Orangemen? Perhaps, that Whalley has at last revealed
himself; that he really was, as he was said to be, a Jesuit
in disguise, and has now thrown off the mask which he
has no need to wear any longer.

Suppose, however, that Dizzy bad gained the day. Then
Parliament would have pledged itself to endow Popery in
Ireland. Would not this, indeed, have been a triumph for
the Roman and Spanish Priest-party ? Our Whalley has
not played false. He took the more Protestant side of the
two. There was a pin between two sides to choose.
’Twas not quite “heads I win, and tails you lose.”

CLUB LAW.

Waiter. “Did you Ring, Sir?”

Member {trying to becalm). “Yes. Will you Wake this Gentleman, and
say I should be Obliged if he’d let me have the Spectator, if he’s not
Reading it.”

[Old Waclclethorpe has been asleep, with the Paper firmly clutched, for the last
two hours.

DANGER OF UPSIDE DOWN.

Who are the Lower Orders ?

The uneducated masses,

The unintellectual classes,

They are the Lower Orders.

Who’ll be the Higher Orders ?

The newly enfranchised masses.
Preponderating classes;

They’ll be the Higher Orders.

Who ’ll be the Lower Orders ?

Educate the masses,

Or, educated classes,

You ’ll be the Lower Orders !

Ermine without Silk.

A Contemporary,ina leader relative to the new Judge,
Mr. Justice Bannen, observes, “He never. took sik.”
We should think not. There is no occasion for anybody
to say, “ Set a Judge to try shoplifters.”

MUSICAL AND MELANCHOLY.

Old fogies, who like music, have been set talking of late by a
rumour that the Ancient Concerts were to be revived in the course of
this next summer. Whether this be so or not we neither know nor
care, but from the bottom of our heart we hope no music hall will put
forth such a programme as the following, should the manager aspire to
give an

ANCIENT CONCERT.

Ancient Comic Song.

The Cork Leg." By Mr. Tooralooral.

Ancient Sentimental Song . S “ Po°r ^og Tray." By Miss Selina Squawl. Cliorus,

( by the Company, Bow, wow, wow.

f “ Coal Black Rose." Played upon the Ophicleide by
' \ Mr. Bellows.

Ancient Negro Melody

Ancient Costermonger's Ditty. “ Sam Hall." By Mr. Gallows. (Sung in character.)

Ancient Serio-Comic Song J “ All Round my Hat." By Jolly Smash, the Great

l Comic Creature.

Ancient Children's Hymn
Ancient Air with Variations

. “ 0 Jerusalem! ” By Signorina Schreecha.

j “ Sich a getting Up-stairs.” Performed upon the Cat.

'{ o.

Ancient Dance & Breakdo wn

all by Mr. Squeels, “The Whistling Waggoner.”
By Mr. Nimble, the Great Crural

(“ Jim Crow.’
( Comic.


Ancient Popular Song .

Ancient Clown’s SoDg j ,,

(not from Shakspeare) )

The Ratcatcher s Daughter.” By Mdlle. Smith.

Hot Codlins.” By Miss Cheeky.

(it T:-- 7st<v, ~ 7,.„

Ancient Nigger Melodies .

Ancient Sentimental Song

Jtinmt itithr j “ Nix my Dolly Palls.” By Mr. Blueskin. Chorus,

■'.( on this occasion ODly, by the Audience.

{“Jim along Jasey” and “ Buffalo Gals.” Performed
' ( upon the Bones by Mr. Sambo Battler.

“ 0 Susannah, don’t you Cry for me!” By Madame
Ugolino Brown, “The West End Warbling
Wonder.”

SWEET GIRL GRADUATES!

I take it from a paper by a lady in

Dear Mr. Punch,

Isn’t this delicious!

Macmillan’s Magazine:—

“ Of course it would be exceptionally easy for those ladies to keep residence,
whose fathers are Masters of Arts living at Cambridge ; but there would be no con-
ceivable danger or impropriety in allowing a respectable married M. A. to license
his house as a hostel for girls not so favourably situated."

Fancy going to Cambridge ! 0, I should so love it.! Ever so much

jollier than a stupid Ladies’ College ! Every girl, you know, goes
nowadays to College, and there could be no danger in our being sent
to Cambridge. Pa says he is afraid that we should learn to smoke, and
to play billiards, and drink beer ; but lots of girls do that without
going to Cambridge.

Instead of “ wines ” we should give teas, and 0 what fun it would
be toasting our own muffins ! I rather doubt if Pa would like me to
play cricket, but he would not object, I’m sure, to my joining a good
croquet club, and I’m already such a dab that 1 should win no end of
matches. Instead of racquets, 1 dare say we should play battledore
and shuttlecock, which you know is really a good strong athletic exercise.
I don’t much care for rowing, for it blisters one’s hands terribly, but
lots of girls are fond of it, and would die to go in training for a match
with Oxford. Fancy the excitement at a race of “sweet girl graduates
with long golden hair ! ” What cheering there would be if light blue
showed in front, and retrieved its long lost laurels !

Believe me, yours excitedly,

Georgiana Gush.

P.S. As for “ little go’s ” and things,
at least as well as many of you men do.
not have the heart to pluck us.

I’m sure we should come out
At any rate you surely would