Punch: Punch (69.1875)

August 7, 1875.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

47

as did everybody who spoke -with any weight of knowledge, of the
insufficiency of the Bill as described.

Me. Reed announced his intention of supplementing its de-
ficiencies, by so much, at least, of Me. Plimsoll's Bill as prohibits
desk-loads and the stowage of grain cargoes in bulk—two of the
most common causes of wreck in winter. John Bull arid Jack
Tar may not be able to get more, but, as the Cheap Jacks say,
they " will positively take no less."

Thursday {Lords).—Labour Bills got through at last, with the
Lobd Chancellor's last touch to that crux of a clause which
attempts the definition of offences in the nature of picketting, or
rattening.

(Commons.) A perceptible marine flavour pervading the House.
Questions as to cases of unseaworthiness flying about. The House
artistically wrought up for the appearance of Me. Plimsoll in the
character of apologist, which he performed in a manly and digni-
fied fashion, but with a due reserve, withdrawing and apologising
for all such terms and expressions as were in transgression of Par-
liamentary usage, but not withdrawing any statement of fact.

Me. Diseaeli received the apology, so becomingly offered, in a
manner as becoming—and with a graceful (apparent) unconscious-
ness of the fact that it was the Government's abandonment of the
Bill on which Me. Plimsoll had set his hopes of ameliorating the lot
of the merchant seaman that had led to the offence for which, as the
representative of the House, he now accepted the offender's apology.

How do the maker and the acceptor of that apology respectively
stand at this moment in the estimation of the country ?

Me. Bentinck and Me. Newdegate expressed themselves not
quite so satisfied with the apology as Me. Diseaeli. They wanted
a further withdrawal of all charges implicating honourable Members.

Me. Plimsoll may safely say his charges were never meant to
include honourable Members.

Before getting to Agricultural Holdings, Me. Dillwyn made an
ill-advised attempt to force Government to take up Mb. Plimsoll's
Bill, and complaining of Government waste of time, laid himself
open to a well-planted " counter " from Me. Diseaeli.

The House was drifting into personalities, when Me. Lewis
sto] ed it by announcing Mb. Plimsoll's wish that his Bill should
give place to the Government measure, to which Me. Reed an-
nounced his intention to tack certain of the clauses from Me.
Plimsoll's Bill, for the prohibition of deck-loads and stowage of
grain in bulk, and perhaps for a compulsory load line. Then the
House plunged once more, with apparent enjoyment, into the marshy
waste of the Agricultural Holdings Bill.

Friday (Lords).—The evils of our own old unregulated system of
Factory labour are growing up with the growth of the Cotton manu-
facture in India. Lobd Shaetesbuby does well to call attention to
them. We are glad to hear from Lobd Salisbury that Govern-
ment have their eye on the Indian factories—are aware of the
gradual growth of over-work and oppression of Indian innocents,
and mean to do their best to put them down. Their difficulty is
the native notion that all we do to protect Indian women and
children in the cotton factories is a hypocritical sham, meant to
mask our determination to sustain Manchester factories against
Indian competition.

Sie Joseph Whitwobth has not only given £3000 a year to
found scholarships in mechanics and the cognate sciences, but
wishes to hand over to the nation an estate of that value for their
perpetual endowment. He sets as good an example in his way of
giving as in his gifts, for he empowers Parliament at any time to
overhaul ;his foundation and bequest. There can be no objection to
relaxing the Mortmain Acts for the purposes of this wise and
munificent act of public spirit. For this the Loed Chancellob
now introduces the necessary Bill.

(Commons). Morning Sitting on the Stop-Gap Shipping Bill. A
very practical morning's work, creditable to everybody concerned.
Government, by Sie Staeeobd Noethcote, agrees to allow of the
discussion—presumably with a view to acceptance—of grain-cargo
and deck-load clauses, but objects to doing as much for clauses
securing compulsory survey and load-line. "Me. Reed will have a
fight for their introduction. Mb. Plimsoll and Mb. Goschen want
full discussion, at least, of these clauses. Mb. Diseaeli made one
of those masterly changes of front which leave us all so proud of
the tactician, whatever we may think of the statesman or legislator.
By a dexterous twist he gives his penitential sheet the hang of a
triumphal robe ; and calmly and complacently thanks the public for
the roar of execration which has " assisted " the Government to bring
in its Stop-Gap Bill!

Now this is is really clever.

Before the House got to Merchant Shipping, a merchant shipper,
Mb. Bates, the Member for Plymouth, very properly asked for a
Select Committee to inquire into the charge Mb. Plimsoll, by
implication, at least, brought against him of being a "ship-
knacker."

Mb. Plimsoll's worst fault as a strategist is his readiness to

make and endorse specific accusations. It shows his good faith as
a man, but gives a powerful handle against him as a Parliamen-
tary tactician. Dirt flung in the House is pretty sure to splash back
in the face of the flinger. Better overlook it than stoop for it, in
nine cases out of ten.

THE WRONGS OF WOMEN.

ouBTEOus Mb. Punch,

I teust that your
known gallantry and gen-
tlemanly interest in the
wrongs of Suffering Hu-
manity—or, I might even
say, Womanity—will in-
duce you to spare a very
tiny little of your valuable
space for the insertion of
this paragraph, which I
read lately in my news-
paper :—

" Originally, ladies were
eligible to become members
of the Order of the Garter.
Henry the Eighth decreed
that they should no longer
enjoy this privilege. Charles
the First and George the
Second proposed to restore the
old arrangement, but the pro-
ject in both cases was never
executed. After they shall
have attained the Parliamen-
tary franchise, womenmay agi-
tate for the restoration of their
ancient right to have the Gar-
ter bestowed upon the wealthy
or well-born of their sex."

I fear extremely that a sneer is latent in these last few words,
though wherefore this should be so I am puzzled to imagine. "Why
should not we poor women have the franchise granted to us, and the
Garter also, if we so desire it ? Why should honours such as these
be reserved for only men, and we who pay our coal bills and our gas
and taxes are not so much as suffered to sit upon a Jury ?

Hoping somebody in Parliament will be chivalrous enough to take
the matter up, and get our ancient rights restored to us, believe me,
Mr. Punch, your weekly reader and adorer,

Minerva Cottage, Friday. Sophonisba Smith.

P.S.—That monster Henbt the Eighth ! I always have detested
him, and now I'm sure we Ladies all must hate him more ferociously
than ever.

THE SERVANTS' COLLEGE.

Mb. Punch rejoices to hear that " the greatest plague of life" has
a slight chance of being abated by the establishment of a College
for Servants, who will be educated in the most careful way to do
justice to their employers—the main idea being that most lucidly
stated by the Dean of Saint Patrick's, that it is the chief duty of
every Servant to ascertain the full amount of his master's income, and
to spend the whole of it on his own department. Having been
favoured with an early copy of the subjects with which the courses
will commence, Mr. Punch is glad to give to this useful undertaking
the advantage of his world-wide publicity.

Class 1. Lady Housekeepers.—" How to manage a Widower with
young Children. In three heads : 1, Domestication ; 2, Flirtation;
3, Temptation."

Class 2. Cooks.—" How to make the Kitchen-fire too hot for the
Missus, and too cool for the Sirloin."

Class 3. Butlers.—" How to substitute Marsala for Madeira, and
Vin Ordinaire for Chateau-Lafitte."

Class 4. Lady's-Maids.—" How to look much prettier than the
young ladies when there are visitors in the house."

Class 5. Footmen.—" How to make a fortune out of six feet two
in height, and calves nineteen inches round."

Class 6. Men and Wives.—" How to keep their quarrels to them-
selves, and feed their ' incumbrances' in the neighbourhood."

Class 7. Coachmen and Grooms.—" How to make the corn sup-
plied to the stables more useful than if wasted on dumb animals."

Class 8. Housemaids. — "How to train that noble animal, the
harmless necessary cat, to break glass and snap up unconsidered
trifles."

It can scarcely be doubted, from this preliminary syllabus of
lectures, that the new Institution will do much for the comfort,
economy, and refinement of our households.