DOI issue:
July 17, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16622#0035
July 17, 1858.]
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
27
EDWIN THE FREE, NOT THE FAIR.
E beg to call attention to the
following dialogue:—
MACBETH ON MEDICINE.
" Ma. Punch,
" From too much study and perturbation of the brain;
perhaps also from excessive employment of the digestive organs, I am
often troubled with vertigo, deafness, singing in the ears, throbbing of
the temples, and palpitation of the heart. These symptoms indicate,
as I take it, a tendency to apoplexy. Whenever they threaten my
existence I lay up my intellect, reduce my diet, and increase my
exercise. These measures, hitherto preventive, may at last fail. In
that event what will the doctor do with me ? This question is sug-
gested by a letter in the Times, signed " S. Dickson, M.D,, formerly
an officer in the Royals." The writer cites Ms,. Russell's account of
the routine treatment of sunstroke in India—thus :—
' He took to drinking ratafia,
And thought upon Miss Bailey ?'
(Laughter.)
" Witness. He left my house
suddenly, and was found by his
aunt in the Haymarket.
"Mr. James. Is there any-
thing so unusual in a medical
student being found in the Hay-
market, though not often by his aunt? (Great laughter.) In fact, he had delirium
tremens ?
'• Witness. He had.
" Re-examined. He stated that he saw spectres round his bed.
" Mr. James. Inspectors? (Laughter.)
" Witness. No, spectres. He had a curious fancy about gratings in the street.
He took them for money-boxes. (Laughter.)
•'Dr. Bartlktt, the manager of Db. Forbes Winslow's Establishment at Ham-
mersmith, proved that the defendant was there in 1855, suffering under delusions
that he had interviews with the devil, and was persecuted by his family ; but he
was aware it was right that he should be there. He was also under the delusion
that he was constantly haunted by a blue pig, which was under his bed.
" Mr. James. Not the Blue Boar in the Haymarket ? (Laughter.)"
The dialogue we have given was not spoken outside a booth at a
Country Fair, but inside a Court of Justice. The part of Mr. Merri-
man, as usual, by Mr. Edwin James.
That gentleman has profited, apparently, by his study of the vocalist
who does the "comic song and dialogue" business, at the Cafe
Chant ant. But with such exhibitions so constantly recurring in the
Law Reports of our Newspapers, we have a difficulty in believing,
notwithstanding the assurance of Dr. Beattie, that "Edwin is no
vulgar boy." _
THE ORIGIN OE PEG-TOP TROUSERS.
The pattern must have been taken by some inventive genius
" Dr. Buchanan said that the
defendant had been placed under
his moral control, and in all mat-
ters connected with drinking he
considered the defendant was un-
sound in mind. (Laughter.)
"Mr. Justice Bramwell. This
isanewmauia. (Laughter.)
" Mr. James. A sort of bibo-
mania. (Laughter.)
" Witness. Tipso-mania.
" Mr. James. That is, when
he saw a bottle of gin he went
mad. (Laughter.) He had taken
to orinking?
"Witness. I do not know what
that is.
"Mr. James. It is a very com- .
mon expression You know the : 1 wenty-two years ago I printed and published the result of simply dashing cola
water over the head, and supporting the worn and fatigued man with brandy and
water. . . . Almost every man recovered. Their convalescence was accelerated by
ammonia and quinine."
" The veins of the arm were opened and leeches applied to the temples . . . Not-
withstanding every care, the greater number of cases were fatal immediately."
" He then adds :—
old song—
" Dr. Dickson further states that—
" a few years ago Dr. Todd, following in my footsteps, instead of bleeding in
apoplexy, brought out his ' new treatment of apoplexy—mild tonics and quinine
—from the commencement.' "
" In case I should be prostrated by an apoplectic attack, shall I
have brandy given me or be let blood ; the vital fluid taken out of me
or the eau-de-vie thrown in? Eor some doctors, it seems, are for
blood-letting, others for brandy ; and
Which is right,
Black or White ?
I '11 be doctored if I can tell; but not otherwise if I know it. And
how, Mr. Punch, is the distinction, contemplated in the Medical Bill,
between qualified and unqualified practitioners, to be drawn with any
degree of practical accuracy ? Can one man be qualified to bleed me
in a given case, and another, in the same case, be qualified to brandy
me ? Does there indeed exist in Nature any such a person as a duly
qualified practitioner, unless, according to the adage, every man is
such who is above forty and not a fool. Albeit no Scotchman, I am,
for a particular reason, strongly inclined to subscribe myself,
" Macbeth."
" P.S. I would of course have Professor Gulloway's pills thrown
to the dogs too; as well as all the stuff advertised by your friends the
other quacks, whose false and foul advertisements still disgrace most
newspapers."
THE MEETING OF THE WATERS."
There is not in this wide world a River so sweet,
from the Cochin China Look at his legs. Depend upon it their As the Tuameg when the tide and itg Wack waters mee}
unsightly baggmess first suggested the idea ot the Peg-lop. When the scent-laden treasures from London which fall,
Sttjltz, bankrupt for ideas, rifled the poultry-yard for new forms^ The ; Commix with the perfumes returned from Biackwall.
Goose has not minded stooping tor once to steal trom a Cocnm!
China ! If this creation of a trouser be not true, it ought to be from yet it is not the bone-boiling bouquet you smell,
the similarity of shape ; or is this story of a Peg-Top to turn out to be Nor the blue-billy streams from the Gas-works that well,
all a " hum ? " We would pause for a reply, only the servant has just 'Tis not patent manure-works that fragrance distil,
announced that " Dinner is waiting! " Oh ! no, it is something more odorous still!
'Tis the rich cordial compound that gushingly conies
From the labours of those who should sweeten our homes :
And we sensibly feel how our case we improve,
In the Court ol Exchequer, the other day, a British Jury, consisting £y combining for all, what each strives to remove,
probably of husbands and fathers, and excited by the eloquence of
Mr. Edwin James, gave £400 damages to a servant girl, the daughter Sweet Vale of the Thames ! 'tis my lot to abide,
of a publican, for breach of promise of marriage on the part of an Where the mud-banks, perennial, embellish thy side ;
unhappy medical student, excessively addicted to brandy-and-water, And ne'er, while thy redolent stream ebbs and flows,
subject to delirium tremens, and now a lunatic in the Asylum of Dr. Shall the smell of thy sewage depart from my nose !
Forbes Winslow, at Hammersmith. What a catch to miss ; what, a __
husband, what a son-in-law to lose ! What a sympathetic and consi- -
derate British Jury!
A Precious Breach of Promise.
work on raising woman.
Arches' Court.
We see that a successor has at length been found for the Arches
Court. We should like to know who is likely to succeed at those
A Lady has published Thoughts on Self Culture, addressed to Women. \ ^ou"- "e. saoum iiite 10 Know wm> « iiKeiy 10 succeed ai inosj
A fat and fair friend complains that all the culture she has expended [ G?mt& of inwuuty-tke Adelphi Arches ^-unless it may be the thieves
on her person had caused it to grow only in circumference. WJi0 succeed but to° wel1 m lhe absence of the Pollce
" quite the skim of society." scented salts.
Mrs. Trollope maintains that in Vienna only is to be seen the
" crime de la creme " of society. After the fete of last Friday, London
may at least boast its possession of the " creme de la Crem-ome."
Tee Thames has lately been found to contain an unusually large
quantity of saline matter. Persons ignorant of Chemistry may be dis-
posed to denominate the salts of the Thames River smelling salts.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
27
EDWIN THE FREE, NOT THE FAIR.
E beg to call attention to the
following dialogue:—
MACBETH ON MEDICINE.
" Ma. Punch,
" From too much study and perturbation of the brain;
perhaps also from excessive employment of the digestive organs, I am
often troubled with vertigo, deafness, singing in the ears, throbbing of
the temples, and palpitation of the heart. These symptoms indicate,
as I take it, a tendency to apoplexy. Whenever they threaten my
existence I lay up my intellect, reduce my diet, and increase my
exercise. These measures, hitherto preventive, may at last fail. In
that event what will the doctor do with me ? This question is sug-
gested by a letter in the Times, signed " S. Dickson, M.D,, formerly
an officer in the Royals." The writer cites Ms,. Russell's account of
the routine treatment of sunstroke in India—thus :—
' He took to drinking ratafia,
And thought upon Miss Bailey ?'
(Laughter.)
" Witness. He left my house
suddenly, and was found by his
aunt in the Haymarket.
"Mr. James. Is there any-
thing so unusual in a medical
student being found in the Hay-
market, though not often by his aunt? (Great laughter.) In fact, he had delirium
tremens ?
'• Witness. He had.
" Re-examined. He stated that he saw spectres round his bed.
" Mr. James. Inspectors? (Laughter.)
" Witness. No, spectres. He had a curious fancy about gratings in the street.
He took them for money-boxes. (Laughter.)
•'Dr. Bartlktt, the manager of Db. Forbes Winslow's Establishment at Ham-
mersmith, proved that the defendant was there in 1855, suffering under delusions
that he had interviews with the devil, and was persecuted by his family ; but he
was aware it was right that he should be there. He was also under the delusion
that he was constantly haunted by a blue pig, which was under his bed.
" Mr. James. Not the Blue Boar in the Haymarket ? (Laughter.)"
The dialogue we have given was not spoken outside a booth at a
Country Fair, but inside a Court of Justice. The part of Mr. Merri-
man, as usual, by Mr. Edwin James.
That gentleman has profited, apparently, by his study of the vocalist
who does the "comic song and dialogue" business, at the Cafe
Chant ant. But with such exhibitions so constantly recurring in the
Law Reports of our Newspapers, we have a difficulty in believing,
notwithstanding the assurance of Dr. Beattie, that "Edwin is no
vulgar boy." _
THE ORIGIN OE PEG-TOP TROUSERS.
The pattern must have been taken by some inventive genius
" Dr. Buchanan said that the
defendant had been placed under
his moral control, and in all mat-
ters connected with drinking he
considered the defendant was un-
sound in mind. (Laughter.)
"Mr. Justice Bramwell. This
isanewmauia. (Laughter.)
" Mr. James. A sort of bibo-
mania. (Laughter.)
" Witness. Tipso-mania.
" Mr. James. That is, when
he saw a bottle of gin he went
mad. (Laughter.) He had taken
to orinking?
"Witness. I do not know what
that is.
"Mr. James. It is a very com- .
mon expression You know the : 1 wenty-two years ago I printed and published the result of simply dashing cola
water over the head, and supporting the worn and fatigued man with brandy and
water. . . . Almost every man recovered. Their convalescence was accelerated by
ammonia and quinine."
" The veins of the arm were opened and leeches applied to the temples . . . Not-
withstanding every care, the greater number of cases were fatal immediately."
" He then adds :—
old song—
" Dr. Dickson further states that—
" a few years ago Dr. Todd, following in my footsteps, instead of bleeding in
apoplexy, brought out his ' new treatment of apoplexy—mild tonics and quinine
—from the commencement.' "
" In case I should be prostrated by an apoplectic attack, shall I
have brandy given me or be let blood ; the vital fluid taken out of me
or the eau-de-vie thrown in? Eor some doctors, it seems, are for
blood-letting, others for brandy ; and
Which is right,
Black or White ?
I '11 be doctored if I can tell; but not otherwise if I know it. And
how, Mr. Punch, is the distinction, contemplated in the Medical Bill,
between qualified and unqualified practitioners, to be drawn with any
degree of practical accuracy ? Can one man be qualified to bleed me
in a given case, and another, in the same case, be qualified to brandy
me ? Does there indeed exist in Nature any such a person as a duly
qualified practitioner, unless, according to the adage, every man is
such who is above forty and not a fool. Albeit no Scotchman, I am,
for a particular reason, strongly inclined to subscribe myself,
" Macbeth."
" P.S. I would of course have Professor Gulloway's pills thrown
to the dogs too; as well as all the stuff advertised by your friends the
other quacks, whose false and foul advertisements still disgrace most
newspapers."
THE MEETING OF THE WATERS."
There is not in this wide world a River so sweet,
from the Cochin China Look at his legs. Depend upon it their As the Tuameg when the tide and itg Wack waters mee}
unsightly baggmess first suggested the idea ot the Peg-lop. When the scent-laden treasures from London which fall,
Sttjltz, bankrupt for ideas, rifled the poultry-yard for new forms^ The ; Commix with the perfumes returned from Biackwall.
Goose has not minded stooping tor once to steal trom a Cocnm!
China ! If this creation of a trouser be not true, it ought to be from yet it is not the bone-boiling bouquet you smell,
the similarity of shape ; or is this story of a Peg-Top to turn out to be Nor the blue-billy streams from the Gas-works that well,
all a " hum ? " We would pause for a reply, only the servant has just 'Tis not patent manure-works that fragrance distil,
announced that " Dinner is waiting! " Oh ! no, it is something more odorous still!
'Tis the rich cordial compound that gushingly conies
From the labours of those who should sweeten our homes :
And we sensibly feel how our case we improve,
In the Court ol Exchequer, the other day, a British Jury, consisting £y combining for all, what each strives to remove,
probably of husbands and fathers, and excited by the eloquence of
Mr. Edwin James, gave £400 damages to a servant girl, the daughter Sweet Vale of the Thames ! 'tis my lot to abide,
of a publican, for breach of promise of marriage on the part of an Where the mud-banks, perennial, embellish thy side ;
unhappy medical student, excessively addicted to brandy-and-water, And ne'er, while thy redolent stream ebbs and flows,
subject to delirium tremens, and now a lunatic in the Asylum of Dr. Shall the smell of thy sewage depart from my nose !
Forbes Winslow, at Hammersmith. What a catch to miss ; what, a __
husband, what a son-in-law to lose ! What a sympathetic and consi- -
derate British Jury!
A Precious Breach of Promise.
work on raising woman.
Arches' Court.
We see that a successor has at length been found for the Arches
Court. We should like to know who is likely to succeed at those
A Lady has published Thoughts on Self Culture, addressed to Women. \ ^ou"- "e. saoum iiite 10 Know wm> « iiKeiy 10 succeed ai inosj
A fat and fair friend complains that all the culture she has expended [ G?mt& of inwuuty-tke Adelphi Arches ^-unless it may be the thieves
on her person had caused it to grow only in circumference. WJi0 succeed but to° wel1 m lhe absence of the Pollce
" quite the skim of society." scented salts.
Mrs. Trollope maintains that in Vienna only is to be seen the
" crime de la creme " of society. After the fete of last Friday, London
may at least boast its possession of the " creme de la Crem-ome."
Tee Thames has lately been found to contain an unusually large
quantity of saline matter. Persons ignorant of Chemistry may be dis-
posed to denominate the salts of the Thames River smelling salts.