Punch (35.1858)

Acjgost 14, 1858.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

69

MESSIEURS, LE CANARD EST SERVI« "

E extract a Canara, much
too big for us to swallow.
We pluck it out of tht Irish
Quarterly Review, fron an
article in the last number,
dedicated to the "Li3ns

his hands, that he became compelled, in mere cleanliness, to resort
to the glove expedient to hide them ? We wonder, in writing bom-
bastic books, only worthy of Baron Munchausen, like the Histoire ds
la Maritime Francaise, that he did not wear a mask, also, to hide his
blushes.

"WHAT'S TO BE SEEN?

(and Monkeys ?) of French Wherever one goes among people one knows,

literature. We give the
canard — or dindon, a'J it
ought to be rather—in all

One is safe first to talk of the weather,

And then " Where have j ou been ? " and " What's to be seen P "

Are two questions which oft come together.

its°French grotesqueness. You hear common folk say, " Have you been to the play ?

Amorist other absnrdi1 And what's the best piece you have seen there ? "

Amonpt other absurd!-. B fc f courge t, tbo bt properer to talk of the Opera :

»™'J * n^t nhBl-Zl Tho' P^aps you've this season not been there,

soned, it quacks charmingly! Th * ^ ^ „ R h d Tromtore?

to the following effect:- And ^ JQU tMnk T^w& ig c\arming p

" On a sculptured salver of i 0 and isn't Giuglini as fine as Rubini,
gold, the domestic presents his I At least wben his t bfJ t warm in p

straw-coloured kid gloves, without [ -r, , i_ t 1 1 jjj. <i

which, as is well known, he (Eu- Ficcolomini too : how i love her, don t you t
gene Sue) never writes; and at Twenty bouquets a night now are flung her :"

every chapter, a new and per- " ^nd that wonderful Grisi, she takes things so easy :

fumed pair is assumed. Eacb seasQn gbe seems {q g]W younger »

Isn't that delicious ? In " Of course, too, you've been (as well as the Queen)
the shape of a quiz, we And seen the new house, Covent Garden ?"

can understand it, as being " Yes, we went the first night, and got covered with white:
levelled against the Apostle For the paint had scarce had time to harden."

of Socialism ; but for any! " Like the house ? "—" Yes, I do : and I think, entre nous,
one to state such an evident | As the pit-stalls wide dresses seem made for,

Mr. Gye 'twould be right in the prices to heighten,
For Crinoline ought to be paid for."

Then, the subject to change, from the Opera you range

absurdity gravely—with the
exception of that veracious
chronicler of Biographies,

. , . i Mons. de Mire court is To the wide field of public amuse ment

a.thumpmg big taxon our credulity. Above all we admire the inge- And x fc b v f fc t

mous delicacy with which the as is well known is brought m. After ^ ^ £f ^ . j[ newg memt

such a bold assertion it is like growing oneself out of the circle of « Entertainments " (so called) are well overhauled:

intelligence to think of doubting the truth of the statement. For you And of mugic the^ 5g

not to know a fact that every one else knows, good gracious me! And hear how ^ ^ HEfiR Splittsckull sang flat,

where have joa been living all tms time ? I Whde for to Signor Smith one can't flatter.

Considering the number of works that Eugene Sue wrote (and, in Tbe bUc meanwJlile their evenings beguiie

fecundity he was a kind of French G. P. R James , and also con- Kt\hf} circus that ,g ^ th Mbainbra °

sidering the incalculable number of chapters he must have deganted Q[ ^ th Show f Madame Ttjssatjd';
m the course of those innumerable works,—he must have been a
pretty tidy customer, we fancy, to his glove-maker, in the course of his
straw-coloured existence. On the author's tombstone, at the fag-end

And of Horrors there peep at the Chamber.
Cremorne and Vauxhall, too, are open to all,
And no vouchers ar, either now wanted :

of his literary merits and Socialist virtues there should have been Tq those wbo arg u^ t d(mn ^

■n^ttrwri art _** d -nrl aortanioll-tr Haonln lorn on ton A "1 • * '111 l

Admission at once will be granted.
There are Concerts by scores " nightly crammed to the doors "—

recorded,—" And, especially, deeply lamented,

^ar Son (Kantter."

What perquisites, too, for the "domestic!" In the event of his
not caring to wear the cast-off gloves of his master, consider the
fabulous prices he must have cleared by selling them as relics.
" Madame, this identical glove, I can assure you, was worn by
Monsieur Eugene Sue, when he was inditing the celebrated thirty-
first chapter, of the third book, in the ninth volume, of the second
series of Mathilde. Pray observe the drop of ink on the third finger—
the tear of sympathy, too, on the thumb ! What shall we say for it ?
Only three thousand francs ? On my word, it is dirt cheap ! "

Or, engaging the attention of some sentimental grisette (if such a
rare creature be extant now), we can imagine the same poetic valet
expatiating on the surpassing merits of one of these " straws :" " Look,
my dear! It was with this very glove (beurre-frais) that Mons.
Eugene (your favourite author, you said but two minutes ago)
actually wrote that tremendous last chapter—that jou have been just
remarking prevented you sleeping for three weeks—in his immortal
composition of the Memoires d' une Femme de Chambre. It was the
1,979th pair that he put on during that precious work! Come, now,
what say you, my pretty child ? You shall have it with its charming
companion, for the bagatelle of 10 francs, but you must throw in a
petit verre"

First-chapter gloves, we should think, would hang terribly in the
market—but last-chapter gloves would clean out the pockets nearly of
the wealthiest Musee ?

Putting down 500 chapters for a French novel (a miserly computa-
tion) — and taking the price of each pair of gloves to be four francs
(a Socialist would be sure to have the very best)—each work would
cost Mons. Sue to write the small trifle of 2,000 francs in the article of
gloves alone. We should never have suspected from the writing of them
such very "kiddish" fastidiousness. The style is so extremely decousu.

However, taking the fact au serieux, there may have been a motive of
delicacy for such refined daintiness. Perhups, the author, in the progress
of his work, (take, for instance, Les Mysteres de Paris in all its boue), was
so horrified at the quantity of dirt he kept gradually accumulating on

Yon. 35.

Unless the announcement's a crammer;
There are Lecture-rooms too, where you'll hear little new :

Save haply some newness of grammar.
There are several packs of whitey brown " Blacks,"

Raal niggers of Yankee extraction ;
Who amuse country folks with old Joe Miller jokes,
Which Punch hears with less satisfaction.

These are some of the sights to be seen now-a-nights ;

Some for serious folk, some for funny :
And Punch thinks you '11 agree that there's plenty to see,

If one only has plenty of money !

TO ARTISTS.

Inspired by the instance of Gainsborough's Blue Boy, which
gave so much delight to the visitors to the Manchester Exhibition,
we have been working hard ever since at devising the following
subjects for studies in colour, which we hope will prove useful hints to
youthful artists: —

" Study in Blacks.—Mungo the Negro Footman abstracting WaL send
from his master's cellar at midnight.

" Study in Whites.—^ Wedding Party taking Refuge m a Chalk
Pit from a Snow Storm.

" Study in Blues.—A Party of Blue Jackets Fishing for Blue
Sharks in the Mediterranean ; the Successful Fisherman looking blue, and
the Unsuccessful ones still bluer.

" Study in Browns.— Old Brown buying for young Brown a suit of
Moses's best black, and paying for it in coppers

" Study in Yellows.—The Chinese Royal Family, dressed in the
Imperial Yellow, Contemplating the Setting Sun in a Field of Buttercups.
(Poor Turner would have hit this off admirably).

" Study in Greens.—Young J. Green attempting to work out the
above hints."