Punch (35.1858)

70

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 14, 1858.

A FACT.

DOGMAS FOR THE DOG-DAYS.

by a dogged fellow.

When success makes a man better than he was befo-k
he must be a good man indeed.

Simplicity of manner, as of dress, is a charm thac
a woman generally admires in another more than in
herself.

When a great man stoops, or trips, the small men
around him suddenly become greater.

Diplomacy is to Government what Poisons are to
Medicine.

Health is a.toy that we play with, much as a child
does, for the pleasure seemingly of breaking it.

He, who can do all he wishes, rarely does what he ought
to do.

The Rich are inclined to believe that they are superior
to other men, and other men do all they possibly can to
fortify them in that belief.

Pity expresses itself in words—often relieves itself by a
look—Charity asserts itself in gifts. A man may be full
of pity, and yet extremely empty-handed.

It is more difficult to forgive an injury from a friend
than from an enemy. Your favourite dog flying at you
pains you a great deal more than a similar assault front a
strange dog.

Pleasure is the greatest foe that Happiness has.

Wealth makes a man proud when he has but little else
to be proud about.

Poverty is a crime that sticks to a man through life. It
is a brand, which, in the midst of riches even, some one
is sure to find out, and reproach him with.

Source of the Thames.

The " Noble River" (vide Queen's Speech) must,
judging from what it now is, have been filled when it
was raining a regular St. Swithin's of "cats and dogs."

the hen-pecked husband s consolation.

The great beauty of a wife is, that, if she abuses you
Young Gent. " I wonder how the deuce that Fellow gets those Legs." herself, she won't let any one else abuse you.

DISSIPATION.—A TALE <)E CREMORNE.
n !Nabtl of the Bag.

(Continued from page 52.)
Who is that charming cweature in the fishing boots and oilskin

Madame Flonplon had quite a little triumph of her own, as it was
not long before her room in the Hotel was discovered, and she had a
crowded levSe of all the "best men" in the gardens. She was sitting
in a spangled dress, and crowned with flowers, holding a polyglot con-
versation in French, Italian, and broken English, but there was such
an unnatural wildness in her laugh, that some of those around her

Jress," languidly asked Tom Clinker of Charley Toadeater. ; shook their heads, and said she was not in a fit state to undertake the

That is the Duchess op Parapluie, our Lady Patroness,"
answered his friend, " but, by Jove, if there isn't old Lady Boreas and
the Miss Petrels and the St. Swithin girls. I must go and pay my
devoirs, as they have a party coming off, so au revoir, Tom."

This brief conversation occurred one dripping evening at Cremorne
riardens, whither the fashionable world had all adjourned for a fete,
which was to eclipse all fetes which ever had been given since the
world began. It was only necessary to breathe the word " Charity "
m May Fair, and put an advertisement in the Morning Post, well
headed by the stars of the Court Circle, and the gentle bosoms of the
daughters of England overflowed with tenderness, and applications by
thousands poured in for vouchers, which would entitle the fair holder
to contribute her mite towards "the Hospital of St. Swithin," for
which charitable institution the fete was held.

The programme promised a magnificent entertainment, suitable to
the taste and inclination of the Upper Circles, and long before the
doors opened every avenue to the Gardens was blocked up with strings
of carriages and lines of umbrellas. The Saint whose name had been
so rashly invoked, had attended his fete in person, while Terpsichore,
in whose honour the Crystal platform had been redecorated with
a heraldic carpet, stayed away altogether.

Many a padded old dandy, who had never risked wet feet before, and
whose bones ached with rheumatism, stood complacently up to his
ankles in mud and gravel, with a dozen umbrellas dripping down his
back, for fear of missing the grand balloon ascent. The Veteran
Green of course was in attendance, and it was confidently rumoured
that a Bishop was going up in the Balloon—the names of St. Clair
and Lord Skylark had long since been announced in the papers as
two of the "Voyageurs," and Madam Flonplon, from Paris, had
promised to descend in a Parachute.

descent. Captain Blackleg offered even money that she would come
short home, and went so far as to back his opinion at six to four in
ponies.

At last the eventful moment arrived ; the Balloon was inflated, and
amidst the cheers of the spectators, the Bishop oe * * * entered
the Car. St. Clair and Lord Skylark were just about to follow
him, when two shabby looking men stepped forward, and tapped the
Captain on the shoulders.

" Sorry to spoil your amushement," said Mr. Melchisedec, one oi
the shabby men, " but Mr. Moss was afraid you might go acrosh to
France; so you must come with ush."

Poor St. Clair stood thunderstruck—to be seised by two Jews on
such an occasion, and to keep a Bishop waiting in the rain, was not a
pleasant situation. He might have stood there till this time, had not
Tom Clinker and half-a-dozen guardsmen, who were personally ac-
quainted with Mr. Melchisedec, made a rush at Mr. Moss's Hebrew
emissaries, and pitched them both into the Car.

" A sovereign a-piece to let her go, boys," cried Tom Clinker.
The shilling men in Lincoln green who held the ropes could not resist
the bribe, and the Balloon was let go high enough for Madame
Flonplon to step into the Parachute.

The roars of laughter at the Bishop's shovel hat and the Hebraic
noses peering over the side of the Car, and the prayers ©f the two
officers to be allowed to come down, diverted attention from little
Flonflon who was driven on to the ground in a triumphal car. _

" Throw down the writ, ma tears," shrieked little Moss, " and I will
grab the Captain;" but the two terrified Jews were holding on for
life and death, and heeded not Moss's ready-witted suggestion.

Madame Flonflon made a graceful curtesy to the spectators, and
stepped into the Parachute. She had arrived too late to know oi