Punch (35.1858)

August 21, 185S.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE SUNNED-OUT DOCTORS. AN IRREGULAR FIRE EATER.

he sad accounts we re- What an appetite for tire must be the peculiarity of
ceive of the Medical M. Pierre Napoleon Bonaparte ! He writes a furious
profession are quite ! letter in the Times to General Fleischmann about
distressing. OwiDg to ; what he considers a misstatement injurious to the honour
the long continued fine 0f his family, in a memoir edited by the General, ana
weather, many prac- [winds it up with a challenge. The General returns him

a mild answer, which in this case does not, turn away
wrath. In this reply, the invitation to mortal combat is
not declined, but the recipient of that honour hints th at
he is a very old man. Whereupon, the implacable Pierke
. writes another ferocious letter to the Times, in which
don, and the general ; he addresses General Fleischmann in the following
neglect of sanitary ar- terms :—
rangements in Town

cmrl Pnvmtrv Tt is in ' Daus tous los cas vous avez un fils qui peut vous remplacer.
dim Kjuiuibiy. xi is Je I'accepte d'avance, eti'atteuds de vous ou de lui Vindication da
contemplation among radyersaire et dts temoins."

titioners have been
thrown wholly out of
employment, notwith-
standing the state of
the Thames at Lon-

them to parade the
streets singmg,"We've
got no work to do,"
and bearing about their
pestles and mortars
and other implements
of their suspended
calling. We cannot

How can General Fleischmann's son replace his
father as the antagonist of M. Pierre Napoleon Bona-
parte? What satisfaction can M. Bonaparte derive
from murdering a man who has never injured him?
Oriental potentates, sometimes, for the offence given by
the father, will revenge themselves on the son. and the
Sepoys slaughtered children. M. Pierre Napoleon
imagine how, in their j Bonaparte would make a good Prince of Sepoys, with
present distressed con- | little but his language and complexion to distinguish him
dition, they will be from a native prince. Bully Bonaparte exhibits in
able to raise the money i himself a pretty specimen of European civilisation. An
wherewith to pay the fine of two guineas imposed on them, for compulsory ordinary duellist is rather a curios>'ty of that kind; but
registration, by the new Medical Act. , Bully Bonaparte is a perfect monster.

MECHI THE MOURNEB.

The musing Mechi stood upon a turbid river's brink ;

NO PLACE FOR LADIES.

The Aberdeen Press narrates a scene of considerable absurdity,
which occurred the other day at a Scotch Episcopal Svnod held at
A fat soil might that stream have made, but was not fat to drink: \ Aberdeen The Bish0p who presided, observing some ladies present,
Ihe willows sighed in concert with the melancholy swam, desired them to withdraw. Here are two strange circumstances in

Whust thus, impressed with chemic lore, he sang a mourntul strain. conjunction 0n the one handi the ladies could have had uo business at

The phosphates they are going, they are going to the sea, JJjf Svnod and on the other they could have found little pleasure there.

Oh, if I had them on my land; how happy I should be ! j Theological discussion could have had no charms for them and it is

Those wasteful waves are bearing them to Ocean's barren breast
Those phosphates, my poor acres that so richly might have drest

Oh watery waste !—but if thou wert a watery waste alone,
I should not grieve for riches to the raging billows thrown;
I should not wildly wring my hands and beat my brow and weep,

improbable that the Bishop had any himself. On the other hand, they
were surely doing no harm where they were, and it seems to have been
rather ungallant of the Bishop to try and turn them out. This, how-
ever, was not so easily done. The ladies would not stir, and the Bishop
had to repeat his injunction three times, and to threaten the adjourn-
ment of the Synod, before they would move. Nor did they go even

To see all that wealth go to swell the treasures of the deep. | then, but remained until the Bishop was as good as his word, and did

adjourn the Synod. This seems rather strange behaviour, both on the

Ammonia, sweetest—as thou art of all things flowing there,
Thou from those waves art flying off to scent the thankless air;
How gladly would I see thee to a proper acid wed,
And, light one, then my fallow fields should form thy bridal bed.

Ye matters odoriferous, all born of mother Earth,
Alas ! ye never will return to her who gave ye birth ;
A barren mother she will be, and cease at length to teem,
Because unthinking citizens have cast you on their stream.

I know we must dispose of you, and in such wise dispose,
That you shall not too forcibly affect the tender nose.
But oh! our aqueous system has not proved a water-cure,
And ah! while we had cesspools, we had you, we had manure.

THE FIDDLE IN THE FIELD.

part of the Bishop and the ladies, though the latter were not to blame
if they believed they had a right to be present. Why should the
Bishop have deprived them of any gratification they might have expe-
rienced in listening to what they could not have understood, if anybody
else could have understood it. Besides, it is just, possible that they
merely wanted to show themselves.

What sort of conversation do ecclesiastics hold in a Synod, that they
find it necessary to bid ladies retire ? Such a proceeding is calculated
to raise a suspicion that a Scotch Episcopalian Synod is of the nature
of a free-and-easy, at which the Bishop presides in an arm-chair over a
bowl of whisky-toddy, and calls on the constituents of the assembly
to sing songs, which are not exactly anthems. Still, if the free-and-
easy were at all respectable, the presence of ladies might be tole-
rated in a gallery, either with or without a screen, according to their
own ideas of what is proper, unless the prelate and his pot-companions
desired that there should be one, to keep the fair visitors out of their
sight, in order that their too susceptible minds might have nothing to

Clerical Boredom.

The band of the 47th was sent to the Crystal Palace the other day j distract their attention from their tobacco and whisky-toddy,
to play popular music, in order that the public might judge of its
excellence. No military band can have a fair chance with people
accustomed to a complete orchestra, owing to the want of violins.
Why should this want exist ? A rifle-bullet would no more effectually
silence a fiddle than it would a bagpipe, and a cannon-shot would ' The Abbe Domenech, in his record of priestly experiences in Texas,
respect the former instrument as much as a trumpet. We can under-! describes how he drove his errant congregation from his garden into
stand why the piano should not be included in a military band, unless j his church by letting a wild boar loose in the garden. Our incum-
the band were that of a regiment of horse artillery, and could have one ; bents too often prefer the opposite course, and drive their congregations
mounted on wheels; but we cannot account for the exclusion of the j from the church into the garden, by letting loose a tame bore in the
violin, which, if made of metal, might serve the performer for a shield, | church,
whilst the stick, pointed at the end, would answer Ziie purpose of a

8Pear. _ It is asked, whether some honours should not be conferred, in cele-

j bration of the laying down the Atlantic Cable ? Wiscount Williams
The Real Milky Way.—The projected telegraph line from Al- I says that the fittest memorial of the achievement would be the giving
derney to Cowes. I a Peerage to Alderman Wire.