DOI issue:
August 21, 1858
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16622#0087
so
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 21, 1858.
WHAT TO DO WITH THE LEVIATHAN.
Many ingenious contrivances have been sugsested, but
we like our own recommendation the best. We propose
that she be maintained as a kind of sewer-vessel, for the
purification of the Metropolis. Let the whole of the
sewage of this dirty London be emptied into her many
holds ; and, when all of them are full, let her sail with the
cargo right out to sea, and discharge it iu the middle of the
ocean, where no human nostrils are likely to be offended
with it. This might be done once or twice a-week, and
would triumphantly bridge over the difficulty of deciding
as to what particular point of the river the metropolitan
sewers are to favour witli their fragrance. The Leviathan
is so far stuck for finances, that her works, for the mo-
ment, are at a complete stand-still. Being commercially in
rather low water, it would not take much to bail her out.
We fancy the vessel might be had almost dirt-cheap; so
that, as a speculation, it would promise to pay more than
(s)centper (s)cent. Besides, it would effectually sink all
the disputes now raging as to the best system of drainage •
and thus a sweet little gain would be effected of some
dozen millions of pounds, that we are seemingly eager to
throw into the gutter in the construction of drains, that
no one seems to know how, or where, they are likely to
turn out. In our opinion, the Leviathan would make a
first-rate floating sewer; and, supposing economists ob-
jected to flinging so much wealth into the sea, means
might easily be taken to turn it to profitable account for
agricultural purposes. It would only be a graceful com-
pliment to appoint Mr. Mechi commander.
Young Practitioner. " H'm, vert odd—I must have made some Mistake; there's
nothing the matter with THIS tooth. never mind, try again ! "
Punchius Sum, non (Edipus.
The real Sphynx would certainly have dashed out its
brains in puzzledom at the following Kiddle. Mr. Punch
was "seized" last week in Paris, in consequence of his
presenting a magnificent engraving of his Imperial Majesty
as the Erench Sphynx. Then, after twenty-four hours,
Mr. Punch was released. The riddle is : Why was he
seized, if he was to be let go again ? He offers a complete
set of his works to any one who will solve this profound
mystery.
LAUNCH OF A NEW CRINOLINE.
A Lady of Eashiou launched a new Crinoline last week in Kensing-
ton Gardens. The attempt was perfectly successful, several little
boys, who had been attracted by the novelty of the sight, doing honour
to the occasion by cheering lustily. A policeman looked on, but dis-
played, in addition to a new cape, his wisdom by not interfering.
The Crinoline in question was built at the celebrated establishment of
Mesdames Elounce and Furbelough, in Bond Street, on the second
floor, though, we believe, the bold design and general contour of its
fine sweeping proportions emanated in the first instance from the
accomplished scissors of Mademoiselle Eanni Smith, (the leading
architect of the firm, and German cousin of the first lady,) who studied,
if we are not misinformed, for several years under some of the most
talented mistresses of the divine art, in some of the most inspired
ateliers in Paris. The boldness of the coupure is such that Michael
Angelo himself, had Necessity driven him to work for a milliner, would
not have been ashamed to have owned it for his handicraft. Tne work-
manship is of the most exquisite nature, double silk having been used
all throughout the building. It occupied six apprentices incessantly
for five days, though they worked in their ardour of the cause not less
than fourteen hours every dav, and on one occasion, nervously anxious
to sustain the reputation of the house that had guaranteed to send
home the dress the following morning, they never went to bed at all!
The high finish of the execution reflects the greatest credit on all con-
cerned. It is^ a truly noble specimen of milliner's architecture, there
not being a slip (we forget how many there are between the heel and
The new Crinoline is Paris-rigged. Its colours are chocolat an lait
on a ricti bread-and-butter ground. The pennant flying at her head is
a small marabout feather. The cost of its construction, with its fittings
up and all, was little short of £42; a very insignificant sum, when we
take into consideration the immensity of the dimensions, which are
unquestionably the largest of any Crinoline that ever left the slips of
a milliner's building-yard. A companion exactly similar was instantly
put on the stocks of the establishment, and will be ready in ten days,
if not sooner, the fair craft having received orders to cruise without
loss of time in the Scarborough channel.
Notwithstanding her bulky build, the new Crinoline sails very
lightly, doing easily, without pitching or rolling, her two or three
knots an hour. She answers readily, too, when civilly spoken to.
The Crinoline started off capitally, though a momentary delay was
occasioned by a tremendous hulk of a Newfoundland Dog coming in
collision with the train that was beginning to spread out, with every bit
of moire antique being stretched to its last stitch, behind, and so causing
her to pull up a little too taut. She soon steadied, however, and,,
hoisting a Honit.on veil, went off at a rattling pace, which she main-
tained with flying parasol for full two hours and a half.
Later in the afternoon she put into Grange's, and took in provisions,
in the shape of an ice and a wafer biscuit; and afterwards, on her way
home, scudding gaily through the Hyde Park roads, spoke with a Life
Guardsman [Knightsbridge, A 1, entered at Almack's), with whom she
exchanged signals of distress, lest she should be late for dinner.
The success of the Launch was the theme of ecstatic congratulation
amongst the fair owner's young friends who happened to run in durinar
the hip) but what is a perfect hit. j the evening. One young lady went so far as to pronounce it " a duck
The following proportions will give some idea of the enormous size I °* tiie first water"
cf this new Crinoline :-
ft. in.
Extreme Length.......8 7
Length on the pavement . . . ' . . . 2 5
How to Make a Free Park.
Put a toll-bridge on each side of it. This is literally the case with
^V^°tet^moMhoZ' *?• ,j • • • 3 7 Battersea Park. At one end there is Battersea Bridge, and at the
ixtreSe breads round the" base 18 8 ctuer tlie new Suspension Bridge, and you are stopped for toll at each.
Breadths let in afterwards . . . ' . . . 5 7
Ue?th of flounces.......j
By these protecting means your Park is perfectly free to those who can
afford to pay a penny for admission to it. Moreover, it keeps the Park
Burden in pounds, 92 :5-20tu. ! select and genteel, and effectually frightens away children.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[August 21, 1858.
WHAT TO DO WITH THE LEVIATHAN.
Many ingenious contrivances have been sugsested, but
we like our own recommendation the best. We propose
that she be maintained as a kind of sewer-vessel, for the
purification of the Metropolis. Let the whole of the
sewage of this dirty London be emptied into her many
holds ; and, when all of them are full, let her sail with the
cargo right out to sea, and discharge it iu the middle of the
ocean, where no human nostrils are likely to be offended
with it. This might be done once or twice a-week, and
would triumphantly bridge over the difficulty of deciding
as to what particular point of the river the metropolitan
sewers are to favour witli their fragrance. The Leviathan
is so far stuck for finances, that her works, for the mo-
ment, are at a complete stand-still. Being commercially in
rather low water, it would not take much to bail her out.
We fancy the vessel might be had almost dirt-cheap; so
that, as a speculation, it would promise to pay more than
(s)centper (s)cent. Besides, it would effectually sink all
the disputes now raging as to the best system of drainage •
and thus a sweet little gain would be effected of some
dozen millions of pounds, that we are seemingly eager to
throw into the gutter in the construction of drains, that
no one seems to know how, or where, they are likely to
turn out. In our opinion, the Leviathan would make a
first-rate floating sewer; and, supposing economists ob-
jected to flinging so much wealth into the sea, means
might easily be taken to turn it to profitable account for
agricultural purposes. It would only be a graceful com-
pliment to appoint Mr. Mechi commander.
Young Practitioner. " H'm, vert odd—I must have made some Mistake; there's
nothing the matter with THIS tooth. never mind, try again ! "
Punchius Sum, non (Edipus.
The real Sphynx would certainly have dashed out its
brains in puzzledom at the following Kiddle. Mr. Punch
was "seized" last week in Paris, in consequence of his
presenting a magnificent engraving of his Imperial Majesty
as the Erench Sphynx. Then, after twenty-four hours,
Mr. Punch was released. The riddle is : Why was he
seized, if he was to be let go again ? He offers a complete
set of his works to any one who will solve this profound
mystery.
LAUNCH OF A NEW CRINOLINE.
A Lady of Eashiou launched a new Crinoline last week in Kensing-
ton Gardens. The attempt was perfectly successful, several little
boys, who had been attracted by the novelty of the sight, doing honour
to the occasion by cheering lustily. A policeman looked on, but dis-
played, in addition to a new cape, his wisdom by not interfering.
The Crinoline in question was built at the celebrated establishment of
Mesdames Elounce and Furbelough, in Bond Street, on the second
floor, though, we believe, the bold design and general contour of its
fine sweeping proportions emanated in the first instance from the
accomplished scissors of Mademoiselle Eanni Smith, (the leading
architect of the firm, and German cousin of the first lady,) who studied,
if we are not misinformed, for several years under some of the most
talented mistresses of the divine art, in some of the most inspired
ateliers in Paris. The boldness of the coupure is such that Michael
Angelo himself, had Necessity driven him to work for a milliner, would
not have been ashamed to have owned it for his handicraft. Tne work-
manship is of the most exquisite nature, double silk having been used
all throughout the building. It occupied six apprentices incessantly
for five days, though they worked in their ardour of the cause not less
than fourteen hours every dav, and on one occasion, nervously anxious
to sustain the reputation of the house that had guaranteed to send
home the dress the following morning, they never went to bed at all!
The high finish of the execution reflects the greatest credit on all con-
cerned. It is^ a truly noble specimen of milliner's architecture, there
not being a slip (we forget how many there are between the heel and
The new Crinoline is Paris-rigged. Its colours are chocolat an lait
on a ricti bread-and-butter ground. The pennant flying at her head is
a small marabout feather. The cost of its construction, with its fittings
up and all, was little short of £42; a very insignificant sum, when we
take into consideration the immensity of the dimensions, which are
unquestionably the largest of any Crinoline that ever left the slips of
a milliner's building-yard. A companion exactly similar was instantly
put on the stocks of the establishment, and will be ready in ten days,
if not sooner, the fair craft having received orders to cruise without
loss of time in the Scarborough channel.
Notwithstanding her bulky build, the new Crinoline sails very
lightly, doing easily, without pitching or rolling, her two or three
knots an hour. She answers readily, too, when civilly spoken to.
The Crinoline started off capitally, though a momentary delay was
occasioned by a tremendous hulk of a Newfoundland Dog coming in
collision with the train that was beginning to spread out, with every bit
of moire antique being stretched to its last stitch, behind, and so causing
her to pull up a little too taut. She soon steadied, however, and,,
hoisting a Honit.on veil, went off at a rattling pace, which she main-
tained with flying parasol for full two hours and a half.
Later in the afternoon she put into Grange's, and took in provisions,
in the shape of an ice and a wafer biscuit; and afterwards, on her way
home, scudding gaily through the Hyde Park roads, spoke with a Life
Guardsman [Knightsbridge, A 1, entered at Almack's), with whom she
exchanged signals of distress, lest she should be late for dinner.
The success of the Launch was the theme of ecstatic congratulation
amongst the fair owner's young friends who happened to run in durinar
the hip) but what is a perfect hit. j the evening. One young lady went so far as to pronounce it " a duck
The following proportions will give some idea of the enormous size I °* tiie first water"
cf this new Crinoline :-
ft. in.
Extreme Length.......8 7
Length on the pavement . . . ' . . . 2 5
How to Make a Free Park.
Put a toll-bridge on each side of it. This is literally the case with
^V^°tet^moMhoZ' *?• ,j • • • 3 7 Battersea Park. At one end there is Battersea Bridge, and at the
ixtreSe breads round the" base 18 8 ctuer tlie new Suspension Bridge, and you are stopped for toll at each.
Breadths let in afterwards . . . ' . . . 5 7
Ue?th of flounces.......j
By these protecting means your Park is perfectly free to those who can
afford to pay a penny for admission to it. Moreover, it keeps the Park
Burden in pounds, 92 :5-20tu. ! select and genteel, and effectually frightens away children.