Punch (35.1858)

252

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CITARTVATU.

[December 18, 1858

Irate Proctor. " Sir, I sent you back to your College oxly five minutes

ago, to invest yourself in your academical costume !"

Fast Freshman {with affability). " Yes ? and Here we are again ! Isn't it Odd ?''

A CANZONET UPON CONTENTMENT.

By a Poet with a decent Balance at his Banker's.

Happy the man who, free from care,
] Loldeth no joiut-stock bubble share •
To place his cash, whom it contents,
Securely in the Three per Cents.

Happy, whom fate propitious grants
An income certain as his wants :
And, blest with common sense, is found
Within his means those wants to bound.

Him, by no anxious thoughts distrest,
No maddeuing dreams dtpive of rest ;
No duns disturb his waking hours,
No gloomy bailiff near him lours.

Him no ambition e'er annoys,
Nor greed of Wealth's vain gewgaw toys :
A house, a horse, good wine, good friends—
And there his love of lucre ends.

For pomp and state he never sighs,
Nor seeks by Hymen's aid to rise;
Content he makes a frugal marriage,
Nor envies Dives in his carriage.

Turtle and venison he'll enjoy,
If no black care the feast alloy ;
Else to him vainly they are sent,—
Give him cold mutton and content!

Him neither bulls nor bears can hurt;
With him Miss-Fortune ne'er will flirt;
Not all the Stags of Capel Court
Can from his income take a nought.

Sweet to the soul, on gain intent,
Is the usurious Ten per Cent.;
But sweeter is the mind that's free,
Solutus omnifamore.

stand that sort of thing : and we trust that the truly worthy Mayor
THE CIVIC CROWN OF SOUTHAMPTON. of Southampton will soon invite Her Majesty's Ministers to dine;

.... , , not forgetting to send round the Loving Cup.

Southampton has long been known to be a rising town, but some
people may not be aware of the height to which it has risen. It has
always possessed a Bar which is greatly superior to Temple Bar, and

it now also rejoices in a Mayor, who for oratorical ability may be COMMERCIAL SLANG AND SEN1IMENT.

backed against any Lord Mayor of London. Here is some eloquence A ld b fch fi SQ does t stolidit

which he Mayor op Southampton displayed the other day in the | d h ff f wit Th subjofned' le of tbis propositi™ ha*

SSoJ^^ffioSS^ 1U PreSeDUD* " addreSS fr°m \ feaP2"-S ^ some time immediately under the " Deaths" in the

" It was at Lncknow that the deeds of daring and noble triumphs winch yon had ! « Sanctity of the Gkavk cmbined with Economy- of Charge.—The London
previously achieved were surpassed in that patient, endurance and forbearance Necropolis or Woking Cemetery, is situate within an easy distance from town by
which, assisted by your noble wife—(cheers)—and which has likewise celebrated her ! South Western Railway, starting from the Company's private station in Westminster
—you then manifested, and it is not at all an unlikely thing that a great aeal of that ! j^-idga Road "

courage and devotion you evinced was attributable in a great measure to the devo- _ ... -j i

tionofawoman—(continued cheering)—who stimulated you m yL.ur zeal." If wit Consists in the apt association of incongruous ideas, the

tvt<- u ri i tt i • c i n ir i advertised combination of" economy of charge" with "sanctity of the

Not a all an unlikely thins,your ATorship. Spoken like a Mayor, | „ WQuld indeed be tme wifc 'if meant for wifc and wit as the

Sir; ay, like a Lord Mayor. His Worship proceeded:- | of it would say> of a supRrior description. Probably, however,

" We, as Englishmen, can understand thaf, sort of thing. We are asocial people
and we are in the enjoyment of all the benefits resulting from that social position.
Our wives insensibly exercise a very powerful influence on the whole state of
society, and no doubt, Sir, that in your case you were enabled patiently to endure a
siege of s7 days in consequence ot the assistance you derived from your wife, and
from the high feelings of integrity by which you were moved. (Cheers ) "

For breadth of generality, intellectual depth, and enthusiasm of j ruinous expense,
moral sentiment and domestic feeling, the foregoing remarks will bear

h comparison with any that were ever uttered at Guildhall or the A CANINE CURIOSITY.

Mansion-House by the brightest ornament of the civic throne. m . • , ,• i ■ i - ■ A • +1,1 7i;,„„t m„4 u

Southampton ought to be proud of her Mayor, embodied in whose lllE anTal raentl0fed m the subJoined notlce in the Tmes mUat be
person her municipal dignity now rivals that of the Metropolis. It \ an fcxfraordlIiary creature :—

remains for her to appreciate her position. Let her commission her ' ] )OG.—-Found, a Blue Skye Terrier. The owner can have the
principal sculptor to execute Statues of bevis and ASCAPART which1 above by stating full particulars and paying all expenses.

shall exhibit a proper analogy to Go& and Magog. She must also ! Of all fancy dogs, a blue Skye terrier must, one would think, be the
institute an annual Mayor's Show; and her future chief magistrates first; all that fancy painted it, like a young lady who, however, was
must count hobnails and chop sticks to afford the requisite security J one Alice Gray—not blue. If the blue Skye is also sky-blue, it must
for their possession of that intelligence of which the present capital I be quite a celestial pet. Perhaps it turns red at day-break, though at
Mayor has, m the observations above quoted, displayed so brilliant an j all times, notwithstanding its azure tint, it may be described as the pink
example. We, as Englishmen, and, we will add, as citizens, can under-1 of terriers.

the party that composed the above saw no incongruity between those
two subjects in point of seriousness, and considered the pecuniary
one not the less serious. If the combination alluded to is really a fact,
we shall be glad to give it every possible publicity; for the sanctity in
question is generally profaned by absurd pageantry, combined with