Punch (35.1858)

254 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. j December 25, 1858.

Rival Achievements.—Captain Parry
g'ot round MeJville Island, but Sergeant

Mrs. Jones sets up a Page, but finds he does not add much to her Dignity. | PaRRY cleared Guernsey.

"AUNT SALLY."

(Vide Times, Lawkeport, Dec. 13.)

Op all the games for Peers to play,
There's none that beats " Aunt Sally ,"

Although 'tis fitter, some may say,
For small boys in an alley.

You say vou do not know the game ?

Then Pit describe it, shall I ?
The Times has lately spread her fame.

The Courts have known " Aunt Sally."

" Aunt, Sally " is a doll, like one
Of those which ragmen hang up :

The nobs pronouuce her "rawther fun,"
The snobs declare she's " bang up ! "

Between ber lips a pipe is set,

Stout sticks are thrown to break it;

The game is slightly vulgar, yet
E'en Dukes their pastime make it.

'Tis sweet to note the simple taste

OF our superior classes;
No idle ft^ar of losing caste

Across their mind e'er passes.

'Tis sweet to see Peers condescend

With 'prentices to rally,
And Dukes their lordly leisure spend

A-playiug of "Aunt Sally!"

" AB 0V0 USQUE AD MALA."

cadly's lament over the lime •watered eggs.

Oh dear, 1 really fancied, spite of this here 'dulteration—

Though they puts red lead in 'chovies, and coffin-dust in coffee,

Daff in lollipops to pison the rising generation,

And 'Evins above alone knows what in gingerbread and tolly—

I really did imagine—poor hinnocent you may call me—

Do what they would with groceries, and sassengers, and wittles,

That heggs was heggs,—but now, I don't know what will befall me,
I hears hegg-sarsepans isn't safe, a bit more than tea-kittles.

For in the Times this morning—I thought I should have fainted—
I reads how most they calls " fresh laid" and charges tuppence
each for.

Has been "pickled"—that's lime-watered—to prevent their bein'
tainted.

(What 'ave we all hour Sunday schools and Bagged schools to
teach for ?)

Wich this " picklin' " (so the Times say) makes 'em look quite white
and fresh like,

But, they cracks, with nasty gasses, when popped in bilin' water,
And outside they feels quite damp, and clammy, and dead-flesh like,
And don't give 'alf the nourishment they ought—no, not a quarter.

Well, I really think it's time to leave this wale of t ears and trouble,
^ (Wich it's likea'bus with little else but pick-pockets for passengers) ;
New-laid heggs I did believe in, but they've busted like a bubble,
And are no more what they ought to be than saveloys or sassengers.

QUEBIES FOR SHAKSPEABIANS.

" Potations pottle deep." Were pottles used as drinking-cups in
Shakspeare's time; and if so, were they made of twisted shavings, as
those in Covent Garden are ? What was the average depth of a
potation pottle ?

Is there evidence for believing Shakspeare to have been educated
at the Blue Coat School, seeing that he turns Maivolio to ridicule by
making him put on a pair of yellow stockings ?

" It were unmannerly to take thee out,
And not to buss thee !"

May we accept this as a proof that omnibuses were extant in the
reign of Henry the Eighth, and that it was then customary for the
King to ride m them?

A WOBD TO JOHN BBIGHT ON A SLIGHT CONFUSION

IN TERMS.

My hear John Bright,

You talked at Edinburgh of " the thousands and scores of
thousands who assemble,"—when you address a public meeting at
Birmingham, Manchester, Glasgow, or elsewhere,—" to express their
opinions on the subject of Reform." Allow me to point out to you
the difference between people meeting to express their opinions, and
meeting to hear you express yours. The latter is a pleasure so
great, that I am sure I only wish many thousands and scores of
thousands of your countrymen may long enjoy it. What the former
is, we saw in 1S32. It was very awful, my dear John, and by no
means pleasant.

That we now find the "thousands and scores of thousands" listening
to your opinions, instead of expressing their own, is the best proof
that three-fourths of what you say to them so strenuously and fluently
is,—you will excuse the word, my dear John, for the sake of its
brevity,—Bosh.

Yours, very sincerely, PEU^iCE^,

PRETTY THINGS IN A PIGSTYE.

This is pretty :—

" Yesterday the gold medal pen of pigs was denuded of oneof its finest specimens,
one of those most extraordinary animals having expired from its obesity during tne
previous night. There were other demises from apoplexy amongst the porcine
fraternity during the show."

The foregoing is part of a report contributed to some of our daily
contemporaries, and it is really a very elegant specimen of penny-a-
lining ; certainly the best that we have seen since the paragraph
announcing that the elephant had departed this life. It is suggestive:
it brings the pig-pen not only before our eyes, but under our noses;
and causes us, whilst in fancy we behold its corpulent occupants,
decorated with garlands and neck-bows of pink and light blue ribbon,
to be sensible in like manner of the odour ascending from their flowery
garniture mingled with the perfume of the eau de Cologne which the
swine have been sprinkled with.

The Magic or Reform.—Even talking about it does wonders.
Bright becomes obscure; Low takes high ground; Newdegate
talks downright radicalism: and Milner Gibson confesses that he
knows nothing.