Punch: Punch (69.1875)

128

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI.

[October 2, 1876.

NUPTIAL REFORM.

Too much praise cannot be given to Mrs. Jones, and
to Mrs. Jones's relations, if she have any, for the readi-
ness with which they entered into Mb. Jones's views
with regard to hymeneal ostentation. She is doubtless a
sensible woman, and may be expected to make a wise
man as happy as any husband can_be who has to work
for his living.

The subject of funeral reform has lately undergone
much appropriate discussion in the dead season; but that
of nuptial reform is equally suitable. Indeed, as a
philosopher pleasantly remarked at a wedding breakfast,
the marriage list in the newspapers, involving that of
the births, represents the conditions necessary to those
of the obituary.

ceremony the happy pair
adjourned to a public-
house, and after 'partaking
of some refreshment,' they
departed—the bride to her
new home, and Jones to his
work at the gas factory."

How glad many youn g
men of the middle and

even higher class, meditating matrimony, would be to be enabled to contract it
with as little ceremony as what attended the nuptials of Me. and Mrs. Jones !
Of course, their customary morning dress including a coat, they would not come
to Church from their employment in their mere shirt-sleeves, and if they
adjourned from the altar to a public-house, it would be such an one as a decent
restaurant or hotel. Thence the bridegroom, going like Mr. Jones about his
business, would go, after having partaken of a moderate refreshment, sober of
course, and there would be nobody to remain behind drinking intoxicating
liquors. The bride, satisfied to go home and wait there for her husband, would
spare him all the expense of a wedding tour.

he Pall Mall Gazette
records a marriage in
humble life, transacted
with an exemplary
simplicity. The bride-
groom, a Mr. Jones,
employed at the Old
Brentford Gasworks,
had to be sent for
thereto from Church, to
which he came from his
work coatless, with
tucked-up shirt-sleeves,
and smoking a pipe :—

"There being nobody
present but the bride and
another woman, Jones was
asked who was to give the
bride away, when, turning
to the sexton, he replied,

with much feeling, 'You B."««!™«3 ™ "av«

can do that Guv'nor ' beeri mon8ter guns, and may well be imagined to have
On the conclusion of the resembled the 81-ton gun thus described in the

Times:—

MONSTERS AND BOGIES.

Artillery, Mr. Milton tells us in Paradise Lost, was
originally employed by a certain Generalissimo of Legions,
one of which, considered to be under his special com-
mand, is that of the Inns of Court Volunteers. The
original cannon appear, from Mr. M.'s account, to have

"The gun is mounted for proof on a sleigh or carriage com-
posed mainly of iron—portions of the cheeks only being of wood
—and carried on two six-wheeled bogie trucks. The bogies are
pivoted under the sleigh by centre-pins working in square iron
blocks, having springs fore and aft of each block."

The ordnance wherewithal the military Old Gentleman
or Veteran, ex-Archangel, and Commander of the Rebel
Hosts, assailed the Loyal troops under Major-General
St. Michael, was invented by a Bogy, and constructed,
as well as carried, by Bogies. It is natural to suppose
that the Bogies introduced their own forms into the
design of their field-pieces for ornament, like the dragons
which decorate the now comparatively little, but formerly
enormous, mortar in St. James's Park. A good sense of
congruity and keeping was displayed in mounting the
81-ton gun on bogies. We trust that the bogy-borne
gun will play Old Bogy with all at whom aggression may
compel us to fire it.

GENEEOSITY AND GRAMMAR SCHOOL.

According to a letter in the Times, by Mr. J. Ha.rdca.stle, the

test against the mismanagement of the School by the Matron and
the House Steward. The Trustees perhaps took time to consider
their reply. But Mr. Grignon could not wait longer than till
April, when he wrote a circular to the parents and guardians of the

That was bad enough—in the eyes of the indignant Trustees.
But Mr. Grignon was not content with that. About the same time

Trustees of Felsted Grammar School, Essex, and the Visitor, the k; s 'disclaiming responsibility for the state of the School, and
Bishop oe Rochesteb have been behaving in a most generous and \ apprising them of tia protest and its faiiure t
gentlemanlike manner to the Rev. W. S. Grignon, Head Master of
the School for nineteen years up to last June, when the Trustees

and the Bishop summarily sent him about his business. be actually applied to the Charity Commissioners for an inquiry into

It is true Mr. Grignon may pretend to have done the School: tbe gtate 0f School and its Trust Ir
some little service. He raised the number of boys from sixty-eight I Accordingly, on the 6th of June last, the five Trustees-who
to two hundred and sixteen. Many of them have gamed University I ht b the scheme of the gcbool to be ele but bave omitted
and College distinctions. One of his pupils was last year s Senior to m vacancies-met, and passed a resolution, subject to the
Wrangler. When first Mr. Grignon came to Felsted School, it! approbation of tbe Bishop oe Rochester, cashiering Mr. Grignon.
was in a bad way. Under the clever management of a House ! The Bish approved of this noble and righteous resolution. It was
Steward it had fallen into debt eight hundred pounds, for which 1 communicated to Mr. Grignon six days afterwards, when he was
the Trustees were personally responsible.. Me. Grignon, at their ^ tbe midst of a scbool examination.

request, took the House-Stewardship on himself, paid off the debt,
reduced the School expenses twenty per cent., and put an end to
complaints of long standing about the diet. But then, finding
double work too much for his strength, he gave the Stewardship up,
so that his self-sacrifice was not entire. The Trustees hereupon
appointed their own Clerk Steward. He was seventy years old, and
lived six miles off. So he visited the School once a week, and. his
duties were almost wholly entrusted to, and equally neglected by,
the Matron.

But, of course, no complaints from parents or guardians were
made to the Trustees. Mr. Veley, their Steward, was also their
Clerk. Complaints as to the Steward's department would have had
to be carried to them through the Clerk, Mr. Velet would have
had to complain of Mr. Velet. Mr. Veley is no Essex calf.

Mr. Grignon did not follow Mr. Velet's wise example.

In August last year diarrhoea and sore throat broke out in the
School. In February last, scarlet fever. The drains, among other
little matters, had been neglected. One boy, who sickened of
scarlatina, was placed by the Steward or the Matron in the ward-
robe-room, whence clothes were distributed to all the boys—certainly
a slight mistake. All this may not have been quite the thing; but
was there any occasion to make a fuss about it ?

Nevertheless, in March, Mr. Grignon sent the Trustees in a pro-

Mr. Grignon immediately forwarded a protest to the Bishop oe
Rochester. Dr. Clatjghton took no notice of it. Mr. Grignon,
in a fortnight, wrote to Dr. Clatjghton again. Dr. Clatjghton
answered him through Messrs. Day and Hassard. Prompt and
polite.

Mr. Hardcastle says that Mr. Grignon is fifty-two years old,
received only £500 a-year, "is thrown on his own resources, and
dismissed with a quarter's salary, with as little compunction as if
he had been a drunken butler or a poaching gamekeeper." But had
he not committed high treason against the majesty of the Trustees ?
Had he not been guilty of flat blasphemy in murmuring against
their inscrutable ways ? So, apparently, thought Bishop Clatjgh-
ton. It is difficult to say which is the more admirable in this busi-
ness—as told by Mr. Hardcastle—the magnanimity, considerate-
ness, and courtesy of the Trustees of Felsted School, or the behaviour
of the Bishop oe Rochester. The Trustees, however, did perhaps
only what might have been expected of them; but the conduct
ascribed to the Bishop must be acknowledged to exceed everything
that could have been imagined. It is, indeed, lovely if true.

In-Solent Behaviour.—Getting too near the Royal Yacht.