Punch (75.1878)

August 17, 1878.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

61

THE LEGAL ROPE BROKEN.

;\ \ \ \ \ i //,'/// 'v" y he Church oncemore

\\ \ , ' A / '/////- ',' rides triumphant

XX " \ / \ / /■y^-/''' over ^e Courts.

/\ §• \> l / -^ne ^T*^ea's Bench

\ x\ / ^C^sS^ —hy two Judges to

f\ / ^-^^^-^^ one—an^ the two

A '^J-^—" including' Chief'

1,1 ---~— Justice Cockbtjrn

' / - _______ —has cut the rope

/ V .. with which Lord

■\\ Penzance, as Chief

- g ^O- Judge of the Court

rpiy^^^. of Arches, had sus

i_ v f{r^C\ li pended the recal-

citrant "priest" of
St. Alban's, Mr.
Mackonochie, for
disobedience to the
monition of the
Privy Council.

So new Mother
Church laughs at
old Father Antic,
the Law; and Lush
stands at judicial
daggers drawn
with Cockbtjrn
andMELLOE; while
Chief Justice gives
a slap in |the face
to Lord Chancellor
and Privy Council.
It is a very pretty
kettle of hsh —
Legal and Eccle-

i ft )^^^^^^^^^^_'_~~I^r^^^^^^^^=-^ bewilderment.
'- ■11 —_JpB^g^_-__.-:_.. When doctors

differ, who shall
decide ? A Chief

Justice, and a Lord Chancellor " shooting in each other's mouth," is
a startling spectacle. Themis may well stand aghast at the cross-
lights shown from the two highest peaks of her domain!

What Cockbtjrn thinks of Cairns's law his judgment proclaims ;
what Cairns thinks of Cockbtjrn's, perhaps he will find an oppor-
tunity of letting us know even before the end of the Session; what
Mackonochie thinks of both we need not inquire. Punch can
hardly doubt that his uppermost feeling must be that let the Law
give him never so much rope, he can't hang himself ; and so he is
free to snap his fingers at Common Law, and Statute Book, at Chief
Justice, and Lord Chancellor, at Privy Council, Court of Arches,
and Queen's Bench, with larger impartiality of contempt, andpriestlier
pride of defiance than ever.

BETSY PRIG AND THE MUSE OP HISTOEY.

" The Muse of History, who has a good many reasons to favour the great
Citv of London, arranged the order of events so happily that the magnificent
majority which has endorsed the policy of Her Majesty's Ministers was ob-
tained and hailed through the length and breadth of the land just in time to
render the civic banquet a commemoration as well as a compliment."—Daily
Telegraph.

So I writ in my moment of joy, when my buzzum with wictory
burned,

And I thought, like my Benjy's Philippic, 'twas pinted and pootily
turned.

Then I nodded and napped o'er my nip, and a sort of confugion
come o'er me,

And Clio 'erself—that's the Muse!—stood in propry persony
afore me.

She were much more sewere in 'er looks than I'd always been led
to suppose,

A"trifle more tight in the lips, and a leetle more red in the nose,
She didn't look werry elated, nor eager to bust into werse,
And no more like the party i"'d pictered than Mars to a old monthly
nurse.

" 'Ow d 'ye do. Mum ? " I sez, " which I'm proud to receive sech a

werry old friend!
Take a cheer ! If so be you 're dispoged for a drop-" (here my

'air stood on hend,

For she gave me, oh, Lor! sech a look ! 'twas as sharp and as

straight as an arrer,
Wich it seemed to go in at my buzzum, and frizzle me slap to the

rnarrer.)

" Betsy Prig," she observes, orful'orty, "my name you've been
takin' in wain "

(I can't ketch her style, not exactly)," I beg you'll not do it again.
You 're a fulsome and foolish old woman, which that I can freely
excuse,

But you stick to your own gushing cackle, and don't interfere with
the Muse."

I felt myself bilin' with wrath, and a-shiver with fear all at once.
" Well," I sez, " this 'ere's 'ardly perlite, Mum ; you 're settin' me

down as a dunce ! •
Which the triumph of Ben and them big City feeds was ewents, I

did think,

As was worthy your finest gold pen and your werry best wiolent
ink."

"Betsy; Prig," she replies, "you presoom! I prefer to choose

themes for myself.
What you fancy the chicest of chaney to me may seem commonest

delf.

If you think I shall follow your lead or consult your great City's
desire,

You are awfully out in your views of what Clio's high functions
require."

I sez, "You '11 excuge me, I 'ope, but my Bengy now! ain't he an
'ero?

His fame is at glory-pint now, while his rival's is right clown to zero.
(All along o' not taking my tip ! Wot a obstnit himidge it is !)
Now you don't mean to say you'll begrudge a big page in your
record to Diz ? "

" Not at all, Betsy Prig," she replies, " but my werdict may often
rewerse

The noisy awards of to-day, and applaud where the mob may
asperse.

The chords your Bex touched have responded, those struck by his
rival seem mute ;

But which would have made noblest music is open at least to
dispute."

" But," I sez, " ain't it lovely to see 'ow Britannia's improved 'er
position,

Since Benty ' picked up the dropt threads of Old England's imperial
tradition' ?

She 'as wrote with the pint of 'er sword on the bleak Balkan

ranges—oh, Lor ! "
Here I stopped, for she give me a glance as confuged me and filled

me with hor.

" Fine phrases and flatulent figures," sez she, " are the charlatan's
tools ;

But the wise are not duped by sham watchwords which rally the
legions of fools.

Imperial ? Many-sensed word that makes music in many long ears !
The Muse is not fired by its sound. Better wait till its meaning
appears! "

She said it that scornful and cold, I was riled, and felt game for a
row,

But somethink as quite shet me hup seemed to shine from 'er ragiant
brow.

Then she wanished like smoke, and I woke—or leastways I suppoge
'tivas a snooze.

But if that there cool party was Clio, I do not think much of the
Muse!

Drummed Out.

Mr. Yeaman, who misrepresents Dundee, as Ginx's Baby repre-
sents that Liberal borough, has been struck off the Liberal List by
the Opposition Whip. He has gone so often into the wrong lobby,
that it is felt he had better stay there. In fact, his "Yea" has
been " Nay," and his "Nay " "Yea " on so many critical divisions,
that many think his name ought to be changed from Yea man to
Nayman, as well as his party label from Liberal to Conservative.

a parallel.
{For the last week of the Session.)

Why is the House of Commons unlike the Eurydice.
Because it will soon be pumped out.

vol. lxxv. <j