Punch (75.1878)

August 24, 1878.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

73

WHEN THE SBILL COMES IN.

a ballad foe john bull.
Am—" When the Tide comes in."

eh rode away,
alert and gay;
The outlook
seemed most fair ;
heard the Jingos'
hoarse hooray
Rise on the Sum-
mer air.
Friend John," he
cried, "keep up
your pride.
I'm off to far
Berlin! "
joined the shout;
but feel some
doubt,
As the Bill comes
lengthening in.

_ Fresh claims I see,
they crowd on

r \ ~ - • .. me,

Like flocks of
hungry birds.
My heart sinks low, cooled down from glow

Of Beaconseield's big .words.
" Oh, Ben," I sigh, " canst tell me why

I'm bled of all this tin ? "
" The ' why ' you '11 know, and the ' wherefore,' too,
By the time the Bill comes in."

Ben winks so sly, while piling high

New burdens on my back,
With that fine smile of winning guile

Of which he has the knack,
I scarce dare groan, so bland his tone,

Yet midst the Jingos' din,
I feel each cheer will have cost me dear—

By the time the Bill comes in!

EE GIN A V. HE GIN A.

{Everybody intervening; or, the next Case on the List.)

This was a case of some interest arising out of an application on
the part of the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council to the final
Court of Appeal, to restrain the Queen's Bench Division of the High
Court from issuing prohibitions against their monitions. The Parties
appeared in person.

The Lord President commenced his opening statement by saying he
knew a prejudice existed against a plaintiff who insisted on conducting
his own case ; but as he wished particularly to test his own judicial
status, about which so many highly unpleasant things had been
already said, he was determined at least to find out " who he was."

The Lord Ultimate Justice interposing, said he hoped there would
not be any attempt at elucidation of any status introduced into the
argument. The question before the Court was '' who on earth are
the Judicial Committee of the Privy Council? "—That at least was
the only issue to which he could direct his attention.

The Lord President.—I think, my Lord, it would be just as well
if you were to direct your attention to the limits of your own juris-
diction. We shall certainly raise that question at a later stage.

The Lord Ultimate Justice.—That is a very candid announcement,
my Lord President; and though I and my learned brother constitute, I
believe, the highest Court of Appeal in the kingdom, I have no hesi-
tation in saying that I am disposed to join issue with him on every
possible aspect of this amusing and confusing case. What, I should
like to know, is the value of a judgment passed by such a tribunal as
what used to be called the Court of Queen's Bench ?

The Lord Chief Justice submitted that that was not the question
before the Court. The Court of Queen's Bench had rather a
more respectable foundation, he hoped, than the Court of Arches.
[Laughter.)

The Lord Ultimate Justice.—Or, as no doubt the defendants in
this cause would add, the House of Lords. [Renewed laughter.)

The Lord President then proceeded with his case. He said that,
after all, the question submitted to the Court was a very simple one.
It might be broadly stated as follows : Ought a set of Judges, who are
handsomely paid in order that by their precept and example they
may exalt the dignity of Justice, to descend to what he must term

"procedure by practical joking?'' It was too bad. He and his
learned colleagues regarded the late action of two of the Justices
of the Queen's Bench Divisiou as nothing short, at least, of this.
He coidd only say, on behalf of the Judicial Committee of the Privy
Council, that if the Court to which they now appealed could give
them no remedy, and they were to be held up as a laughing-stock
without any sort of redress, they should know how to take their
revenge. The Exchequer Division had had far too quiet a time of
it lately ; and he woxdd like to know, for one, what was the present
market value of a decision of the Lord Chief Baron.

The Lord Chief Justice objected. If this sort of sifting were to go
on, they shoidd soon get a definite view of their respective jurisdic-
tions, and he appealed to the Court to say whether this would be
likely to add to the solemn mystery of justice, or to exalt the public
respect for that complicated procedure which was, if not its brightest,
at least its most costly jewel.

The Lord Supreme Baron here interrupted. He said: I think
it right, upon hearing that statement, to mention that I have, during
the progress of this case, been indulging in some considerable scruples
as to my own position in this Court. I shall, therefore, now refuse
to grant any application until I am assured as to the nature of my
jurisdiction. The rule must be refused.

The Lord Ultimate Justice.—Nonsense. I don't concur for an
instant. I am only too happy to add to the confusion of this cause.
You may take a rule—or two, if you like.

The Lord President. — Yes, my Lord, if we can find them.
[Great laughter.)

The proceedings then terminated.

THE ARMS OE CYPRUS.

" It is interesting to note that the arms of Cyprus are borne on one_ of
the shields on Queen Elizabeth's tomb in Westminster Abbey, viz.,
Barry of ten arg. and az., over all a lion rampant gu., croivncd or."—
Alhenccum.

Where good Queen Bess's honoured bones

Sleep in the Abbey's gloom,
The Arms of Cyprus grace the stones

Of her emblazoned tomb.
In argent fair and azure bright

Barry of ten behold ;
O'er all, a lion rampant, dight

In gules, and crowned with gold.

Fair emblem of the happy fate

That now on Cyprus shines,
And in our rich ProtectorateJ

Re-opes her long-closed mines.
And what if British Lion's gules

Be toned to a dun-brown ?
Besides the crown upon Ms head,

His purse holds many a crown.

Sharp Cypriotes, who Jews can squeeze,

Armenians confound,
That Lion of his crowns to ease,

And eke half-crowns, are bound.
With cunning thus in coat contest,

Punch Heralds' pardon begs,
If he with deference suggest

The Isle's Arms should be Legs.

A Missing lank.

John Evans, D.C.L., &c, &c, in his Address, as President of
the Geological Section of the British Association at Dublin, refers to
one member of the group of quaternary Mammalia, as " far more
abundant in Ireland, than in England or Europe—the Megaceros
—which has rightly received the appellation of LLibernicusP It
is strange that Mr. Evans should have omitted to notice another
distinguished member of the same group, which ought to be far
more abundant in Ireland than in any other part of the world, the
peculiar family of the Bos Taurus which has also won world-wide
fame under the epithet Llibernicus.

If the Irish Elk be so common in a fossil state, surely fossil speci-
mens of the Irish Bull ought to be forthcoming, if sufficiently
looked for. _

Greece Asking for More.

Greece has a past; who denies or defames it ?
Greece has a future, 'tis Lord B. proclaims it.
But besides past and future, Greece asks for a present,
Epirus, Crete, Thessaly ! Isn't she unpleasant ?

vol. lxxv.