Punch (75.1878)

August 3, 1878.]

PUNCH, OE THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

37

PUNCH'S ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

onday, July 22 {Lords.)
Complaints from Lord
Granville of the
ventilation of their
Lordships' House.
The Lord Chancel-
lor admitted it
wanted improvement ,
and promised to do
what he could. Punch
offers him his plan.
Put up Lord Strath-
eden to speak. But
if Noble Lords will
call names, and bandy
imputations, and let
official cats out of hags
in: the House, for
other Noble Lords to
go chevying them, it
is difficult to see how
the atmosphere in
their Lordships'
House'can be otherwise than disagreeably foul,
and inconveniently heated.

Lord Napier and Ettrick called attention to
the statistics of Indian famine mortality, a horri-
ble subject, as to which it is a comfort, rather
than otherwise, to think that it is impossible to
rely on the published statements of lives lost by
starvation in Madras and Mysore. The lowest
estimates of such mortality last year are appalling,
the highest awful. Lowest or highest are such as
john Bull may well stand aghast at , as he looks
back blankly and with a blush, to the hopes very
widely entertained, or at least, very confidently
expressed here, and even in India where they
should know better, that English rule could and
would cope effectually even with Indian Famine.
Famine has beaten us, by how many lengths
it is doubtful if England will ever know, even when her official statists have done their best. If we
can do no better in future seasons of scarcity than we did last year, let us not vent such lordly scorn and
censure on the impotence of Chinese and Turkish efforts to wrestle with the starvation of a people.
The best thing Lord Cranbrook could say, was, what Punch is quite ready to believe—

" The Governors of those provinces and those under them had borne a strain of mind and anxiety which it
was almost impossible to exaggerate. Their lordships, he felt sure, would not add to that strain of anxiety. They
had done their best, he believed, to mitigate and stop the calamity. They had made great exertions. They had
been, in some respects, unfortunate ; in some cases they had failed, but there had also been great successes. And
though he could not say they had put a complete stop to the famine, this at least he could say, there was not a man
in the eountry who had not done his utmost to diminish its ravages."

There are visitations beyond even the best strength and the most strenuous good-will of even the
best of all possible Governments. But what startles Punch is to find men of Indian experience con-
tending that by the weight of our taxation, and the costliness of our rule, we are so impoverishing the
soil as to render famines more frequent, and the natives more and more unable to provide against
them. That is a horrible thought.

^Commons.)—Lord Hartington is to have next week for moving Resolutions questioning the " high
policy " which has issued in the Berlin Treaty and the Anglo-Turkish Convention. We are glad to
see that the Government is not to be reduced to Dr. Kenealy for its vindication; Mr. D. Plunkett
is a challenger more worthy to strike Lord Hartington's shield. Even he has since altered the
terms of his Amendment from a "confident" to an "earnest" hope that, under the blessing of
Providence, the arrangements made by Her Majesty's Government may result in "the preservation of
peace, the amelioration of the condition of large populations, and the maintenance of the interests
of this Empire.'' In fact, Mr. Plunkett puts Lord Beaconseield's policy under the safe shelter of
a " D.V.," to which its worst enemies can hardly object.

Col. Stanley confirms the report that some half hundred of the Indian force have been all but
poisoned at Malta by the substitution of carbolic acid for lime-juice. Ghoorkas are wiry little chaps
who can stand a good deal, but hardly the use of disinfectants for antiscorbutics. Somebody wants
wigging—if not hanging.

After a vast variety of questions, in'which Lord R.Montagu made himself pre-eminently disagreeable,
the House got to Committee on Cattle Diseases Bill, and made good way till it came to the Irish clauses,
on which, as natural, a hitch arose, and Progress was reported—according to that Parliamentary use
of the words which implies that a stop was come to.

. Tuesday {Lords).—Notice from Lord Beaconseield that the Queen was coming to Parliament for a
marriage allowance for Prince Arthur.

Lord Truro, better employed than in rabid denunciation of Vivisection, called attention to the
culpable carelessness with which gunpowder is stowed aboard merchant and passenger ships. If there
is one thing more than another for which our shipping authorities, particularly in the Thames, want
blowing up, it is for their vices of omission and commission in this very serious matter. Unluckily it
is ships ana passengers that get blown up, instead of Conservators and Board of Trade.

Lord Camperdown wanted to know what Government expected Cyprus would bring in, or rather
would take out. All that the Marquis of Salisbury would answer for was that the Porte should not
be the worse for the transfer (which Punch is quite ready to believe. Still less will the islanders).
The Government had not the least idea what the island revenue was, or was likely to be—but they hoped

for the best. It had maintained a
large population in the past. He
believed it would be capable of
doing the same in the future, and
large population meant large
revenue.

Lord Granville complained
of the secresy in which the
Anglo-Turkish Convention had
been shrouded. Punch would
merely observe that regarding
the Turk as not merely a sick,
but a dead man, shrouding seems
a natural operation in connection
with him.

Lord Granville doubted if
Cyprus be now or can ever be
made of any value as a naval
station. Even Batoum, Ave were
assured by Lord Beaconseield,
was scarce as good a harbour as
Cowes, with room for three ships
comfortably, and six by tight
packing. Yet he had heard of
its having recently accommodated
thirteen Turkish men-of-war and
a transport.

Lord Hammond gave a pungent
criticism of the probable cost and
consequences of our occupation of
Cyprus, and administered to the
Government about the sharpest
rap over the knuckles it has yet
received d propos of its "high
policy."

Lord Beaconseield said that
as to the secresy of the negotia-
tions, which ended in the occupa-
tion of Cyprus, secresy was the
policy of the Government, which
he was ready to justify at the
right time ; that as to their ignor-
ance about the island, they knew
quite enough to warrant the
assumption of British sovereignty,
and would be prepared to prove
the grounds of that knowledge
also at the right time. As to
Batoum, he had good authority
for his description of the port,
and its capacity. As to the ports
of Cyprus, of course it was easy
to pick up '' musty details from
obsolete gazetteers;" but by this
time next year he ventured to
say they would be full of British
ships. (Very probably, with a
garrison of 10,000 men to supply.)

Lord Cardwell admired the
Noble Lord's skill in answering
questions that had not been
asked, and in evading those to
which no answer could be given.
But the House was as much in
the dark as ever as to Batoum,
as to Cyprus, its revenue, its
ports, our intentions as to slavery
there, the law to be administered
in the island, as to everything,
in short, a Government ought to
have known before taking pos-
session.

The Lord Chancellor re-
torted, with some heat. The
Noble Viscount complained that
questions had not been answered,
which had never been asked.
British law will be administered
to British subjects in Cyprus or
elsewhere, Turkish to Turkish,
till altered. Slavery will be
dealt with, as in other places,
" where Her Majesty's law is ad-
ministered." (What does Lord
Cairns mean ?)

Lord Selborne complained that

vol. lxxv.