Punch (75.1878)

Januaey 4, 1879.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

301

RUMINATIONS FOR 1879.

: W^/^j^^^p!i Will Lord Beacostsfieid sur-
l^^p^^mjl;;; '! prise us with a new epigram or a
: / t&fwf^aBr new ^s^arL(i) a fresh title or a fresh
I M * IjmK treaty ?

lis $ Will a war he commenced, or

• \ 'T%1, a^N^I''^ a secre* agreement, involving
" —"~~T7^^ ||| \ | ^f&V^P'' ^ tremendous consequences, con-
~^§Sgk B§? Jift\f I ( t% eluded, without the knowledge
! w and consent of the Parliament

i * and the People; and will the

previous sanction of the Legisla-
ture still be indispensable for the abolition of ar,Turnpike Trust, or the repairs of
the Ambassador's residence at Constantinople ?

Will Mr. Gladstone return to, power and cut down abuses instead of trees;

or will he retire from public life altogether and (politically)
" cut his stick " ?

Will the Pope and the King of Italy eat their maca-
roni and smoke their cigarettes together ?

Will Cleopatra's Needle be all the better for a year's
acquaintance with the clear atmosphere and bright
blue skies of the Thames Embankment ?

Will the Right and the Left in the House of Commons
remain as they are, or will they change benches ?

Will the Liberals still start three Candidates to struggle
for one seat (against a single Tory); and will they con-
tinue to resist cohesion as a party, because they are not
all agreed about Public-houses, or Primogeniture, or
Prebendaries ?

Will the Education of poor neglected children still be
a bone of contention, to be growled and fought over by
Church and Chapel ?

Will the Opera House on the Embankment be finished ?

Will Gas Lamps be as Oil Lamps, and Electric Lamps
as Gas Lamps ?

Will there be Scientific Instruments invented, enabling
us to see our friends and relations at the Antipodes ?

Will there be a Sea Serpent on view at one of the
Aquariums ?

Will there be a good Grouse and Partridge Season ?

Will there be a General Election ?

Will there be a revival of commerce and cheerfulness,
tranquillity and trade, peace and prosperity, exports and
imports; and will there be more activity in the Home-
Office, and less in the Foreign and India ?

Will there be an immortal Poem or Novel written ?

Will there be a new out-door Game thought out, to
supersede Lawn Tennis, as Lawn Tennis has superseded
Croquet ?

Will there be anything fresh discovered about Shak-
speare ?

Will the Public be on better terms with their fish-
mongers and butchers ?

Will there be anything left of the fine old British Con-
stitution this time next year ?

Will there not be a bigger Income Tax ?

The Coquette's Motto.—" Deux jours fidele.

A GRATEFUL QUEEN TO A GRIEVING AND

SYMPATHISING PEOPLE.

England's heart has gone out towards the Queen in her great
grief; and the Queen's heart has uttered its gratitude to England,
simply and sincerely, and as if in rebuke of the bombastic over-
emphasis of Lord Beaconsfield in the House of Lords.

JANGLING CHIMES.

Mr. Punch loquitur.

Pheugh ! Bedlam in a belfry! Bless the boys!
You '11 frighten the New Year with all this noise.
Ring out, wild bells ! But, oh! not in this fashion,
Like demon tongues the clappers clang and clash on

Sans time or tune,
About your ears you '11 bring the belfry soon!
The bells all cracked, the pullers in a passion.
Stop ! Stop, my lads, take breath, and slacken rope!
You do not call this chiming, I should hope ?
'Tis but a mad and maddening Charivari,

Enough to raise Old Harry.
The cymbals of the Corybantes clashing,
Ne'er made such harsh and inharmonious crashing
As your cacophonous Carillon. Ring in
The New Year with this dismal deafening din ?—

Ah ! absit omen !
You tug, and twist, and strain, like frantic foemen,
Not a right belfry-brotherhood of ringers.
Can such wild bells be bringers
Of benediction to a listening land ?

Ben, hold that reckless hand,
And Will, pull not so wildly ; don't you see
Your crashing discords murder harmony,
And give the cue to Chaos ? Sturdy John,
All heedless of the score, may still tug on,
At the old well-worn rope. John Bull has grown
A-weary of thy mellow monotone—

Which tells of times and tunes that used to be.

His rival there is pulling strenuously :

But an alarum, or a rataplan,

Seems his sole notion of bell-music. Hush!

Confound the man!
And now there's Cockburn at it with a rush;
He should know better, so should that Penzance,

Than follow the wild dance.
And you, John Fors, and James, the Whistler smart,
Ought to know better how to play your part.
You may like different tunes ; but anyhow
There 's neither art nor harmony in Row !
Lawyer or priest, painter or critic 'cute,
Learn that a Carillon needs combination ;
If each of you scorns calm co-operation,

Eor independence harsh and absolute,

You'd better far be mute.
Stop all of you, I say, and do try whether
You cannot pull in tune and time together ;
Your mad spasmodic tuggings in blind anger,
Result in naught but a demoniac clangour,
Which deafens, not delights, shakes tower and steeple,
And sorely shocks and mystifies the people.
Start fresh, my lads! together set your bells,
And with a peal that tuneful sinks and swells

Pang in the young New Year!

Only too many Candidates for the Throne of Cabul.

Yakoob Khan, Mohamed Ibrahim, Sharif Khan, Jalaludeen
Khan, Ahmad Khan ! A mere emharras oV Ameers !

" How happy could we be with any,
Were t'other dear claimants away."

latest from the row.

We understand that Lord Lytton is now busy with a new work
on the Interior of Afghanistan. How he must regret that he cannot
use the paternal title, What Will He do With It f

vol. lxxv.

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