DOI issue:
December 28, 1878
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17733#0304
300
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 28, 1878.
PUNCH'S PRIZE CHRISTMAS ACROSTIC.
Beauty's Appeal.
A itsweb—against anxious asking1; answer in an
apt Acrostic
M ake me—merry madcap Maxim masking Mind
in Mirth's Monostich—
E xplanation entertaining, through essential
Evolution!
R attling, roaring, rushing, royst'ring, rude in
reckless Resolution !
R cad in rhythmic Rhyme the Reason Routs
and Revels rude return ;
Y es,'.and why your yelling Youngsters year by
year for Yuletide yearn!
The Sage's Answer.
C hristmas comes, Champagne-consuming, Cos-
sacks', Cards', and Crackers' cause,
H ipping Hunters (Hard-frost Haters), hanging-
Holly, Hips, and Haws,
R ich in Roast-beef, Rum-punch, Raisins, Rid-
dles, Rhymes, and Roundelays,
I nfluenzas, Indigestions, Icicles, and Ivy-
sprays,
S hootings, Squeezings, Skatings, Sneezings,
Slidings, Sludges, Snows, and Sleets,
T urkeys, Truffles, Tailors' Tottles, IVois-temps,
Tips, and toothsome Treats,
M a's Match-making, mirthful Maidens, Mistletoe,
moist Mouths that meet,
A ches and Ailments, Ale and Apples, Almonds,
Alcohol ablaze—
S uch the Season's Sweets and Sorrows'—so this
Sage serenely says!
THE NEW YEAR'S ANNUAL.
Oe, rather Perennial—esto per-
petual prays Punch—is Kelly's
Post Office Directory. There
seemed no room in it for improve-
ment, or anything else, yet im-
provements have been found, or
made, room for. The Map is more
manageable, the cross references
less cross, the trade names fuller,
the Court Guide more courteous
than ever. And if Kelly's great
Directory has a competitor for
cheapness, completeness, com-
pendiousness, and clear arrange-
ment of contents, it is Whitaker's
Almanack, which, after Punch's
own, stands as the ne plus ultra of
Almanack-making.
eailway insubance.
The London, Chatham, and
Dover Company have clapped an
additional hve per cent, on their
Season-tickets. Of course this
means a rise of five per cent, in
their servants' wages ^
Mixisteeial Reading (not ac-
cepted by the Public). — Charity
begins at—Rhodope.
THE PARSON'S GEATE.
(A Christmas {Fire) Box for all Mr. Punch's Readers.)
_ Me. Mechi has long been known as a liberal dispenser of the
light derived from his own useful experiences as a farmer, crop-
grower, stock-breeder, stock-feeder, and in many other capacities.
He now comes forward as a source of heat, as well as light, in his
enthusiastic circular of what he calls the Parson's Grate.
This grate is a long, deep, but narrow trough, with fire-brick
ends, back, and floor; the front is an iron hurdle, having from six
to ten bars of round iron 7-16ths of an inch thick, with intervals of
li inches. A trough 16 inches deep and 14 inches wide will heat a
full-sized room, containing 450 superficial feet. The interior of the
grate is only 44 inches from back to front at its base, and 5J inches
at the level of the top bar. This thin stratum of coal permits the
air, which enters only through the front bars, to circulate freely
between the coals, and thus causes perfect combustion.
Except when fitted to previous register stoves, the 'floor of the
grate is level with the floor of the room; when applied to existing
stoves, the trough is fitted into the grate.
Mr. Mechi tells us, as a proof of the discontent with our present
system of warming, falsely so called, that he has received in ten
days more than 1,000 letters, complaining of insufficient warming,
and requesting instructions for constructing the model.
_ He suggests that these grates are specially fitted for railway-sta-
tions, board-schools, and other rooms of large area. They can be inex-
ensively adapted either to the agricultural labourer's cottage or to
ouses of higher pretensions. He speaks from more than twelve
months' experience of their use. For a room 30 feet by 20, a grate
24 inches wide and 14 inches high would give, he says, a superabund-
ance of heat, and its cost including the setting, need not exceed
about £3. If required for richly furnished rooms the ornamentation
can be costly, according to desire. At present our railway-stations
are cheerless in winter. As for our living-rooms, the heat from the
common grate is carried up the chimney instead of being diffused in
the room.
The Parson's Crate dries and expands the air in the room, so that
one feels warm all over, and, under its influence, the floor is the
warmest part of the room, instead of (as at present) the coldest. _
Kettles and saucepans, he says, will boil almost as quick on trivets
in front of the Parson's Grate as on the top ; and as to toast!--
A lady friend of Mr. Mechi's said to him:—"I cannot make toast
at any one of my strong drawing register stoves, but have to go to
the Kitchen Grate." He reminds us that there are nearly Ten
Millions of Fire Grates in the United Kingdom on wrong principles.
" If so," as he naturaUy soliloquises, "what a scope for reform f"
One never comes to an end of the blessings of the Parson's Grate.
In it the fire may be left without attention for four or five hours.
In fact, it is not uncommon to find fire lit in it overnight still burning
in the morning.
It requires very little poking.
Smoke from the coal burnt in it is converted into flaming gas. In
fact, it first produces flame, then coke, and then burns the coke to
an incombustible ash. It does away with smoky chimneys, and
releases chimney-sweepers from their dirty and degrading occu-
pation.
In short, before this wonderful grate, contrived, one would say,
for poor Parsons, and so appropriately christened after them, and
Mr. Mechi ready to send instructions for its construction, if accom-
panied (as contributions to Mr. Punch should be), by a postage-
stamp, Mr. Punch can only say to the Parsons—who may be pre-
sumed to understand Latin—
"Felices nimium, sua si bona norint."
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
The Earl of Beaconsfield.—Aq. English Dictionary, with the
payes turned down at the words " Peace " and " Honour," Maps of
Asia Minor and Central India, and Keith on Fulfilled Prophecy,
with illustrations from Tancred and Vivian Grey._
Lord Salisbury.—A humble pie, of the largest size.
Sir Stafford Northcote.— A Ready Reckoner, a backboard, a set
of dumb-bells, and a pair of spectacles.
Mr. Gladstone.—A copy of the old song, "Pray, Goody, please to
moderate the rancour of your tongue," and the rules of the game of
" Follow your Leader."
The Marquis of Partington—A box of stimulant powders.
Lord Lrjtton.—A copy of The Return of the Native.
The Editor of the " Pall Mall Gazette."—A box of Bugbears.
The Ameer of Afghanistan—An invitation to spend Christmas
with the Emperor of Russia.
The Khedive of Egypt—A few more foreign Ministers and a little
less ready money.
The Sultan of Turkey.—A loan—left alone.
Mr. Edison.—Ike fervent blessings of the Gas Companies. •
The Directors of the Glasgow Bank—-Deferred until after their
trial. . .
Major O''Gorman.—A step in rank, and a charger up to tnirty
stone. , ,
The Lord Chief Justice of England.—A moderator lamp, to be
used with a reflector and midnight oil.
The Biggest of Christmas Ceackees.—To talk of the present
Season as a merry one.
;
*3T To Cobbkspondbnts.—The Editor does not hold himself bound to acknowledge, return, or pay for Contributions. In no case can these be returned unless accompanied
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 28, 1878.
PUNCH'S PRIZE CHRISTMAS ACROSTIC.
Beauty's Appeal.
A itsweb—against anxious asking1; answer in an
apt Acrostic
M ake me—merry madcap Maxim masking Mind
in Mirth's Monostich—
E xplanation entertaining, through essential
Evolution!
R attling, roaring, rushing, royst'ring, rude in
reckless Resolution !
R cad in rhythmic Rhyme the Reason Routs
and Revels rude return ;
Y es,'.and why your yelling Youngsters year by
year for Yuletide yearn!
The Sage's Answer.
C hristmas comes, Champagne-consuming, Cos-
sacks', Cards', and Crackers' cause,
H ipping Hunters (Hard-frost Haters), hanging-
Holly, Hips, and Haws,
R ich in Roast-beef, Rum-punch, Raisins, Rid-
dles, Rhymes, and Roundelays,
I nfluenzas, Indigestions, Icicles, and Ivy-
sprays,
S hootings, Squeezings, Skatings, Sneezings,
Slidings, Sludges, Snows, and Sleets,
T urkeys, Truffles, Tailors' Tottles, IVois-temps,
Tips, and toothsome Treats,
M a's Match-making, mirthful Maidens, Mistletoe,
moist Mouths that meet,
A ches and Ailments, Ale and Apples, Almonds,
Alcohol ablaze—
S uch the Season's Sweets and Sorrows'—so this
Sage serenely says!
THE NEW YEAR'S ANNUAL.
Oe, rather Perennial—esto per-
petual prays Punch—is Kelly's
Post Office Directory. There
seemed no room in it for improve-
ment, or anything else, yet im-
provements have been found, or
made, room for. The Map is more
manageable, the cross references
less cross, the trade names fuller,
the Court Guide more courteous
than ever. And if Kelly's great
Directory has a competitor for
cheapness, completeness, com-
pendiousness, and clear arrange-
ment of contents, it is Whitaker's
Almanack, which, after Punch's
own, stands as the ne plus ultra of
Almanack-making.
eailway insubance.
The London, Chatham, and
Dover Company have clapped an
additional hve per cent, on their
Season-tickets. Of course this
means a rise of five per cent, in
their servants' wages ^
Mixisteeial Reading (not ac-
cepted by the Public). — Charity
begins at—Rhodope.
THE PARSON'S GEATE.
(A Christmas {Fire) Box for all Mr. Punch's Readers.)
_ Me. Mechi has long been known as a liberal dispenser of the
light derived from his own useful experiences as a farmer, crop-
grower, stock-breeder, stock-feeder, and in many other capacities.
He now comes forward as a source of heat, as well as light, in his
enthusiastic circular of what he calls the Parson's Grate.
This grate is a long, deep, but narrow trough, with fire-brick
ends, back, and floor; the front is an iron hurdle, having from six
to ten bars of round iron 7-16ths of an inch thick, with intervals of
li inches. A trough 16 inches deep and 14 inches wide will heat a
full-sized room, containing 450 superficial feet. The interior of the
grate is only 44 inches from back to front at its base, and 5J inches
at the level of the top bar. This thin stratum of coal permits the
air, which enters only through the front bars, to circulate freely
between the coals, and thus causes perfect combustion.
Except when fitted to previous register stoves, the 'floor of the
grate is level with the floor of the room; when applied to existing
stoves, the trough is fitted into the grate.
Mr. Mechi tells us, as a proof of the discontent with our present
system of warming, falsely so called, that he has received in ten
days more than 1,000 letters, complaining of insufficient warming,
and requesting instructions for constructing the model.
_ He suggests that these grates are specially fitted for railway-sta-
tions, board-schools, and other rooms of large area. They can be inex-
ensively adapted either to the agricultural labourer's cottage or to
ouses of higher pretensions. He speaks from more than twelve
months' experience of their use. For a room 30 feet by 20, a grate
24 inches wide and 14 inches high would give, he says, a superabund-
ance of heat, and its cost including the setting, need not exceed
about £3. If required for richly furnished rooms the ornamentation
can be costly, according to desire. At present our railway-stations
are cheerless in winter. As for our living-rooms, the heat from the
common grate is carried up the chimney instead of being diffused in
the room.
The Parson's Crate dries and expands the air in the room, so that
one feels warm all over, and, under its influence, the floor is the
warmest part of the room, instead of (as at present) the coldest. _
Kettles and saucepans, he says, will boil almost as quick on trivets
in front of the Parson's Grate as on the top ; and as to toast!--
A lady friend of Mr. Mechi's said to him:—"I cannot make toast
at any one of my strong drawing register stoves, but have to go to
the Kitchen Grate." He reminds us that there are nearly Ten
Millions of Fire Grates in the United Kingdom on wrong principles.
" If so," as he naturaUy soliloquises, "what a scope for reform f"
One never comes to an end of the blessings of the Parson's Grate.
In it the fire may be left without attention for four or five hours.
In fact, it is not uncommon to find fire lit in it overnight still burning
in the morning.
It requires very little poking.
Smoke from the coal burnt in it is converted into flaming gas. In
fact, it first produces flame, then coke, and then burns the coke to
an incombustible ash. It does away with smoky chimneys, and
releases chimney-sweepers from their dirty and degrading occu-
pation.
In short, before this wonderful grate, contrived, one would say,
for poor Parsons, and so appropriately christened after them, and
Mr. Mechi ready to send instructions for its construction, if accom-
panied (as contributions to Mr. Punch should be), by a postage-
stamp, Mr. Punch can only say to the Parsons—who may be pre-
sumed to understand Latin—
"Felices nimium, sua si bona norint."
CHRISTMAS PRESENTS.
The Earl of Beaconsfield.—Aq. English Dictionary, with the
payes turned down at the words " Peace " and " Honour," Maps of
Asia Minor and Central India, and Keith on Fulfilled Prophecy,
with illustrations from Tancred and Vivian Grey._
Lord Salisbury.—A humble pie, of the largest size.
Sir Stafford Northcote.— A Ready Reckoner, a backboard, a set
of dumb-bells, and a pair of spectacles.
Mr. Gladstone.—A copy of the old song, "Pray, Goody, please to
moderate the rancour of your tongue," and the rules of the game of
" Follow your Leader."
The Marquis of Partington—A box of stimulant powders.
Lord Lrjtton.—A copy of The Return of the Native.
The Editor of the " Pall Mall Gazette."—A box of Bugbears.
The Ameer of Afghanistan—An invitation to spend Christmas
with the Emperor of Russia.
The Khedive of Egypt—A few more foreign Ministers and a little
less ready money.
The Sultan of Turkey.—A loan—left alone.
Mr. Edison.—Ike fervent blessings of the Gas Companies. •
The Directors of the Glasgow Bank—-Deferred until after their
trial. . .
Major O''Gorman.—A step in rank, and a charger up to tnirty
stone. , ,
The Lord Chief Justice of England.—A moderator lamp, to be
used with a reflector and midnight oil.
The Biggest of Christmas Ceackees.—To talk of the present
Season as a merry one.
;
*3T To Cobbkspondbnts.—The Editor does not hold himself bound to acknowledge, return, or pay for Contributions. In no case can these be returned unless accompanied