Punch: Punch (75.1878)

108

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[September 7, 1878.

AT IT AGAIN!

ravo, Victor Hugo, or rather—as
you were invited and only sent a
letter—Victor Hu-didrC t-go! But
a letter you sent! Thank you very
. for the private copy with which we
been favoured, and which evidently
you is the genuine article before it
was corrected for the Ears of
your Unionist Delegates and
the Eyes of the World:—

Eictor Nog-o to the Trades
Union Delegates from every-
where generally assembled in
the Chateau d'Fau 'Theatre.

My dear European COUN-
trymen,

I cannot at this mo-
ment, to my great regret, come
and preside over you. Ob-
serve, I say "at this moment."
"This" moment is not next
moment, not that moment, nor
any moment but this moment.
You did not ask me for this
moment. That is where I am
evasive. Who was the Englishman I have always respected P
Walker ! My young men from the country ! Hear me. I demand
what you demand. I want what you want. I wish I may get it.
I wish you may get it. I mean what you mean. " Unity " is to be
joined together. I am with you in heart and soul. Not in body.
Every Dog has his day. These days are the Dogs' in Paris. Thus
is it I prefer Guernsey to Paris. Let us be cool. As I am. Here !
Without us Governments attempt something. They all do it. Who
leads, fails. To follow is to succeed. Look on without uneasiness,
always gay, sometimes free! Continue to march, labour, and
think I I, your brother, your friend, will sit, eat, and drink ! You
are a single people. I am a singular person. The hrst person sin-
gular. You, a single people, want a peace, a big peace, a noble
peace. A peace for one ! I, a singular person, command a peace for
two. That satisfies. That is enough. Behold me! Here! On
velvet! In flannel! In a jersey! In Guernsey !

Your friend,

FlCTOR INc-go.

P.S.—Chateau d\Eau ! I salute you. Place of Assembly, hence-
forth historic. Cold water is a cure for most maladies. For the
fanatic, the intemperate, the irascible, the violent—au Chateau
cVEau! alien!

A BELIE YER IN DARWIN.

From a speech delivered by Professor Hackee of Jena, at a
dinner given to him a few days since in Paris by some French
savants, it appears that Science is essentially much more like Faith
than people commonly suppose ; science, that is, as professed by
Professor Hackee. According to a telegram whence extracts
follow—

'' In Ms speech, as reported in the Temps, he expressed gratification at the
progress of evolutionist ideas among French men of science, and remarked
that professors and preachers who ridiculed man's descent from the ape un-
wittingly furnished the hest proof of it, their pride and childish vanity heing
foibles which might have been bequeathed by the ape."

The best proof of man's descent from the ape being, by Professor
Hackee's own showing, far short of demonstration, he, Professor
Hackee, nevertheless believes it, and that firmly enough to be
capable of accusing scoffers at it of childish vanity and pride. What
is the difference between such science as that and the faith of any
the most dogmatic clergyman ?

" Man, however, did not descend from any known anthropoid, but was a
branch of catarhine monkeys of the Old World."

How does Professor Hackee know that ? From scientific proof, or
scientific inspiration ?

"The continuity of nature was daily becoming more evident, and super-
stition, mysticism, and teleology would give way to reason, causality, and
mechanism."

Is Professor Hackee also among the Prophets ?

" Among philosophical minds, at least, the believers in final causes of the
universe, immutability of species, sterility of (hybrids ?), geological cataclysms,
successive creations, and the late appearance of man were dying out. The
primitive life-organisms were formed chemically by spontaneous generation
at the bottom of the sea like saline crystals in water. Nohow else could the

origin of life be explained. Lamarck and Darwin had struck the last
blow at the doctrine of final causes, and modern morphology was irreconcil-
able not only with the dogma of the Creation, but with that of Providence or
the vague idealistic pantheism of Hegel, Schopenhauer, and Hartmann."

In spite of the well-known experiments of Professor Tyneale,
tending, as far as they go, to disprove "spontaneous generation,"
Professor Hackee firmly believes in it—as firmly, perhaps, as the
Archbishop of Canterbury does in the dogmas of Creation and of
Providence, notwithstanding modern "morphology."

"The transformation of living organisms under the influence of adaptation,
hereditary selection, and struggle for existence, could not, indeed, be mathe-
matically demonstrated, but its existence could not be doubted any more than
psychology or social science."

Well; but are there not diversities of opinion concerning social
science ? and as to psychology, are not its questions as vexed as those
of theology ? Nevertheless, Professor Hackee is as sure about social
science and psychology, together with evolution, development, and
all the rest of it, Darwinism to wit, as M. Veuileot is of the cer-
tainty of all the propositions of the late Pope's Syllabus. The
articles of our Professor's scientific creed cannot, certainly, be
"mathematically demonstrated;" no, but, as M. Yeuieeot might
say, "prcestat fides supplementum ; " and fides and scientia—Pro-
fessor Hackee's scientia—do seem very much indeed like one another,
especially scientia.

A PASTORAL SYMPHONY.

[Mr. Cross, Lord Sandon, and Colonel Stanley have lately been
optimising at Liverpool.]

Scene—The Lancashire Arcadia.
Performers—Certain Shepherds, piping.

First Shepherd. The libretto and music our leader hath set us

Both savour most sweetly of pastoral calm !
Second Shepherd. Aye, dulcet as honey from classic Hymettus,

The strain and the theme to all bosoms bring balm !
Third Shepherd. Since Creation was in its Arcadian nonage

So peaceful a moment has never been known !
First Shepherd. Let us pipe of our power, our prestige, and our
tonnage,

Which under our fostering care have so grown !
Second Shepherd. The nightmare of War which so long had op-
pressed us,

Has passed, and we 're free of all friends and all foes !
Third Shepherd. The country has flattered, and praised, and
caressed us,
Oh, everything's lovely and couleur-de-rose !
First Shepherd. As to War, oh! it's really too shocking to
mention—

I humbly beg pardon for using its name !

Second Shepherd. Universal content has extinguished contention.
We 're all at the height of our well-deserved fame!

Third Shepherd. Our wicked opponents—their leader sophistic-
All vanished like dim allegorical ghosts !

First Shepherd. What eloquence ornate, sublime, optimistic
Enough for expressing our jubilant boasts ?

Second Shepherd. But great though the present our glory still
waxes,

The future shall be one big blaze of success !
Third Shepherd. We '11 annex all the world, and abolish all taxes,

The sons of our sons shall brave Beaconsfieee bless !
A Voice. Yes, that sounds very nice, and no doubt he's a hero,
But isn't yours rather a rickety Peace ?
Taxation at present is not down to zero,
And how about Bosnia, Batoum, and Greece ?
Shepherds {together). Hush, hush, noisy sceptic ! A vaunt, rash
intruder !

Cacophonous creature ! inopportune bore !
Our Concert you 'd mar with harsh discords ? Proh pudor I
The themes you refer to are not in our Score !

[Left piping.

logic eor legislators.
According to a great living Philosopher, people in this country at
least are "mostly fools." Query, therefore: What is the greatest
happiness of the greatest number P A Fool's Paradise.

note on ree noses.

A surgeon has published a treatise on a method of curing " Port-
wine Marks."^ In many cases probably port-wine marks could be
effectually got rid of by simply leaving off,port-wme.

To 003E1SP0JTOBHTS.—77ie Editor does not hold himself bound to acknowledge, return, or pay for Contributions. In no ease can these be returned unless accompanied hy a

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