Punch: Punch (75.1878)

162

[October 12, 1878.

HOW TO KILL TIME AT THE SEA-SIDE.

Hire Bath-Chairs, put the Bath-Chairmen inside, and drag them as fast as You can up and down the Parade.

THE OPPRESSED IN EXCELSIS;

OE, ALMOST ENOUGH OF IT ?

The Executive Committee of the Very Green Island Chained,
Gagged, Stifled, and Strangled Patriots' Society met again 5Testerday
for the further discussion of public business.

After a little preliminary window-breaking, and a free fight or
two in the body of the hall as the best method of opening the pro-
ceedings, the Chairman, who took his seat amid a shower of oaths
and inkstands, said—they had been summoned together on the
present occasion for the purpose of taking into immediate considera-
tion the attitude that their great, glorious, and giant-strengthened
Society ought to assume in the face of the yawning gulf that he was
happy to think was now opening visibly under the feet of the surly
and cowardly British beast—{cheers)—who for eight-and-twenty
centuries had been growling at them from the other side of St.
George's Channel. [Tremendous cheering.) It was an important
moment. Though so stifled, as all the generous and civilised world
knew it to be, was the whispering voice of liberty in the mouth of
the very green islander that he could now only shout out what the
brutal and bloodthirsty oppressor called " treason" in the miserable
and ineffective shape of as much newspaper fine writing as he could
possibly turn out;—though his limbs were so chafed with the iron
shackles of a grim and despotic executive that he had not yet been
able even to blow the Tower of London bodily into the Thames, or
to tear the Crown and Constitution into shreds on St. Stephen's
Green;—though the sweet lady-like spirit of the beauteous nation
was so utterly collapsed in a perfect heap over her battered, mangled,
and stringless harp that it had become impossible to raise to the
memory of the glorious martyrs of '71, '74, '83, '85, '98, '2, '10, '15,
'37, '39, '47, '56, '62, '65, '70, '72, and '76 more than a couple of
colossal monuments all round every six months ;—though, in a word,
the brightest, tbe liveliest, the most intellectual, and, on the whole,
the cleanest people in the world, had been so outraged, downtrodden,
neglected, choked, that they now scarcely knew what it was they
really wanted—{loud and prolonged cheering)—yes, though things
had come to this pitiable and awful pass, still, a golden, gleaming,
and streaming blaze of breaking sunrise was already gilding with

glittering jewels the riven roots of the green sea and gem-washed
island! {A voice—"More power to you!") Yes; for when the
dastard ensign that was dragged by fraud and fear up the easy
slopes of the Alma and through the pleasant shades of Inkerman,—
the hated flag is about at last to be trampled low under the august
and holy feet of the very green Islanders' personal and admirable
friend, the enlightened potentate who, from St. Petersburg, directs

the progress of European liberty-

But here the speech of the Chairman was suddenly brought to an
abrupt conclusion by the quite unexpected appearance of Mr.
Punch who, at the head of a large following of real Irish boys,"
ready and eager for the welcome work, cleared the hall of what they
called " all thim foreign varmin," and put an end to the proceedings
without even the formal sham of an " adjournment sine die"

FROM THE GAZETTE.
Most Extraordinary—Paris Edition.

Lord Gladstone to take the title of Duke Reechmon-ill, and be
invested with the grand cordon of the Order of le " Star-Garter."

Sir Bright to be summoned to the Ouse-of-Peers as le Baron
Cromwell-Road, and accept the Colonelcy of Her Majesty's Gen-

tlciH6H~*iilcl.6rS tit -A TTT1S

Le General 6'Gorman to be Prince de Chypre, and be nominated
honorary lieutenant of Les Cents Chflternes.

Count Derby to resume his ancient title of Le Grand Due Hep-
somme, and accept the Postmastership of the Windsor Stag-Ounds.

Mr. Secretary Ices-Beach to be raised to the Knighthood with
the title of Sir-MiCHAEL, and be appointed hereditary Lor Maire-
Elect; and

Lord Beaconsfield to take the further appellation of Viscount
Garmozle and Earl Tairns.

Indian Relish.—One among the Condiments for which India is
famous was named after the King of Oude. But the King of Oude s
Sauce is nothing to the Ameer of Afghanistan's.