Punch: Punch (75.1878)

October 26, 1878.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

185

what such an audience will enjoy in the way of—Heaven save the
mark ! — amusement. I pass over the Japonorevelrie, with its
untidy-looking boys, shrill-voiced, singing infant phenomenon, and
over-rouged dancers, who skipped neatly—this being the best part
of the performance, though a trifle stale by now ; and of what pre-
ceded this wearisome stuff I am ignorant, but it was followed by
some comic songs from the Oxford favourite, Mr. Arthur Roberts—
I beg his pardon, there is no " Mister " on the bills—he is familiarly
known as "Arthur Roberts"—who is undoubtedly clever in his
line, but who, at this moment, except a topical song (words by a
namesake of the Archbishop of York), with the refrain " More or
less," has little much worth', hearing; and then, after the Brothers
Huline had tried to amuse us by gymnastic fiddling not at all new,
and had really surprised us by their marvellous adroitness in hat-
catching, the feature of the evening was announced, namely,
" Leona-Dare, Queen of the Antilles."

I do not know what " The Antilles " are doing in the absence of
their Queen, or whether Her Majesty, having been deposed from
that high position—(she could, I fancy, be deposed from any high
position, and bet three to one on her coming down safely—like a
cat)—is now reduced to earning an honest livelihood by showing
what an Ex-Sovereign can do, when she is not fettered by the strict
ceremonial and rigidly formal etiquette of a Court. The '' Queen of
the Antilles" has evidently discarded her regal robes, unless the
acrobatic costume in which she appears is the Court-dress of the
Mantilles. She enters, first of all, in a sort of thin wrapper, strikes
an attitude—perhaps as "Queen of the Antilles" receiving the
Antillesian nobility—and then dashes aside the flimsy robe, as
though it were a bathing-dress, and she were going to take a plunge.

How do the nobility and courtiers of the Antilles act on such a
trying occasion ? Do they put their hands up to their faces and
turn away ? or do they at once hand her the trapeze, or the rope,
or the bar, or whatever it may be ? I fancy so, as Her Majesty is
accompanied by a small wiry man, attired similarly to herself, who
seems to know what Her Majesty likes, and what she wants. And
what is this poor man's reward. ? Why, after he has served her
faithfully for over a qixarter of an hour, throwing her ropes, tighten-
ing cords, seeing that
everything is right, and
finally devoting himself,
recklessly, to her service,
by loyally flinging himself
from a giddy height, and
joining her on a trapeze-
bar, where they sit to-
gether,—she dignified as
a Queen of the Antilles
should be, he proud as a
subject might well be at
being raised to such an
eminence by his own
merits and by the com-
mand of his Royal mis-
tress, and willing to obey
her lightest word—he is
suddenly deposed — poor
favourite, and with a ring
in his waistband that is
linked to a ring which
Her Majesty, now in a
down - flying attitude,
holds in her mouth, be-
tween her teeth—and
thus this poor unhappy
Prime Minister (or what-
ever he is) is suspended
from his office by the
Queen of the Antilles.

Then she slaps him,
slaps him hard and fre-
quently, and he being
thus suspended, is sent
round spinning like a
whipping - top, until so
fast and furious are his
gyrations, that I could
not tell what he had
become—a man or a crab, a human being or a shapeless dummy.

At last that merciless, capricious Queen of the Antilles releases
her victim, and once more allows him to resume his seat on the bar,
where he appears dazed, bewildered, while she looks cruelly and
maliciously riante. (By the way, this was good acting on the part
of both performers, and looked uncommonly real.)
What was this man—her courtier, her slave, her servant ?
From his connection with the bar, perhaps a Q.C.—a Queen's
Counsel—of the Antilles. Not a Judge, surely }

But suppose he were found to be the Lord Chamberlain at the
Court of the Antilles, on a tour through Europe with the Queen ?
On a tour, and taking several " turns" nightly.

If so, would it not be well if, out of mere fraternal feeling, our
Lord Chamberlain, or his Representative, were just to drop in to
the Oxford, and see this performance ? There is nothing^to save this
man from coming crash smash on to the Oxford stage. No net. The
net is there at an earlier part of the show, but is withdrawn before
the Queen takes it into her head to give her Prime Minister (or what-
ever he may be) an extra turn.

And what attraction has this entertainment for the respectable
stall-audience I have already mentioned ? Why, I honestly believe,
simply, its peril, nothing else.

Why not have a strong swinging net beneath, during the whole
performance; so that, come what come may, nothing more serious
than a shaking can occur ?

The Queen of the Antilles is a fine, handsome, graceful Lady, and
her subjects would be really grieved if anything were to happen to
her. But what can she expect, when she herself patronises her
Prime Minister, or favourite Courtier, and makes him a helpless
Revolutionist ?

After this I left. Perhaps, not being an Oxford man myself, I
have no great sympathy with their special amusements. But is this
really the way they go on in the Sheldonian ? I trust not. If so,
they manage these things better at Cambridge. I should recom-
mend Our Censor to pay a visit to the American Bar at the tavern
dedicated to the Horse Shoe (from the custom here of paying "on
the nail"), and getting someone to treat him to an " Eye Opener."

The other evening I went to see La Jolie Parfumense. For a piece
got up in a hurry, because there was that disappointment about
Niniche, it was very creditably put on the stage. Mr. H. J. Byron
did a version some time ago for the Alhambra, and I fancy I recog-
nised some of his fun in the Third Act of this version, which is
announced as by Charles Lamb Kenny. Perhaps in the hurry
the two versions have got mixed. Miss Santlet sings the song
of the Second Act (I forget its name) capitally, and wins the
encore! But, beyond this, there is not much in it. There teas
a good deal in it at the Bouffes, where I first saw it, and Daubrat
and Theo were very funny. But it is peculiarly Parisian, and
wants both the Parisian acting and the Parisian audience. There is
little for anyone to do except the Low Comedian.

By the way, what a pretty little house the Royalty is now. What
a difference from the old uncomfortable dingy theatre, when all the
brightness was on the stage. Oddly enough, as long as that theatre
was dingy and uncomfortable, it was generally crowded, and cer-
tainly during that time of grubbiness it made its biggest successes.
Miss Pretty Seeusan-Oliver will pardon me if I remind her that it
was grubby.

But directly it was " done up "—it was done up, with a vengeance,
and took a long time to recover itself, and get accustomed to its new
dress. It's as pretty and pleasant a little house for a light enter-
tainment as any in London, and, with careful management, ought
to have "the old times revived." Soit! How about the Electric
Light here ? Just to show the way ?

At the Strand, Our Club, which begins at seven and ends at nine,
is capitally played all round, and the author may say this much and
be thankful, and Mr. Farnie's Nemesis, which begins at 9*15, and
plays till eleven, is, with Messrs. Marius and Cox, clever Miss
Lottie Venn, and the new attraction, Miss Yiolet Cameron, as
amusing as ever it was in the principal situations, though Mr.
Loredan is scarcely an equivalent for Mr. Edward Terry, being
too much of the regular tenor, and too little of the low comedian.

The piece has yet to be seen by a new set of playgoers, who are at
least four years older than when it was first produced, and four
years do make a considerable difference to some very young folks.

Tantalus, at the Folly, is a new version of a farcical French piece
(Une Boite a Bibi) produced at this theatre last Christmas. The
present cast is an improvement on the previous one; and Miss Lydia
Thompson has a part in it, with which she can do something more
than it was even in her power to do with her role in Stars and
Garters.

So much for the "Looks in." We are to '' look out" for Mr. Irving
at the Lyceum, with Miss Ellen Terry for Ophelia ; for Mr.
Phelps, as Cardinal Wolseyx at Drury Lane; for the reopening of
the St. James's, for the revivification of Sadler's Wells by Manageress
Mrs. Bateman, who despises the old proverb about " Leaving Wells
alone "—and unless Mr. J. L. Toole is made President of the Royal
Academy, or Mr. Chatterton Archbishop of Canterbury, vice l)r.
Tait, resigned, I am not aware that there is anything else for you to
hear from Your Representative.

Nasty Particular.—One of the Liverpool Music-Hails displays
this notice at the Box entrance:—" Young Ladies without shoes and
stockings are not allowed into the Boxes."