DOI issue:
November 30, 1878
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17733#0253
November 30, 1878.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
249
A STRONG-HEADED HERO.
F
jeince Bismarck,
by the account of
his Bozzy, Dr.
BusCH,is distinguished
not only by general
but also by particular
strength of head. His
brains are capable of
standing almost any
amount of liquor, like
those of Socrates and
Mynheer Van Dunk
—and some one else
whom modesty forbids
Punch to name. His
Highness once drank
a pot of champagne
and porter mixed, and
was none the worse.
He brags of having
beaten topers in beer-
houses. So confident
is he in the potency of
his potting, that he will
back himself to drink
against the world.
" He can hold forth
by the hour upon wine;
and on a dire occasion, spirits becoming scarce in the tents, caused a desperate
appeal to be telegraphed home as to the strong need of a supply of gin
incontinently."
He is powerfully impressed with religious convictions, and pro-
fesses himself a decidedly Evangelical Christian. Thus the Prince
appears to be in a double sense a spiritually-minded man, as being
at once a fervent believer in " gin and true religion," and liking
both, according to the revelations vouchsafed to I)r. Btjsch, of the
strongest.
JUST THE MAN EOB HAED TIMES.
Mr. Punch—Sir,
Ix do a man's eart good as is used to that nastiest, aggrawa-
tingest, and extravagantest of all uman creturs, the British Porper,
to know that in these ere days of sentimentle umbug about umanity
and sech like rubbidge, there is still Bords of guardians as knows
their dooty and ere and there a Chairman as is fit to teche em of it if
they didn't. Wich I have not read anythink for yeers and yeers so
truly refreshin to my feelins as a porochial officer owin a dooty
to the ratepayers as the report in the Warrington Examiner of a
late weekly meeting of the Board of Guardians for that borough—to
potions of which I ask your leeve to dror the attenshon it deserve:—■
" One Robert Evans, fitter, in the employ of Mr. Kitchen, Scotland
Road Foundry for eighteen years up to last February, when he was discharged
in consequence of duluess of trade, appeared before the Board asking for work.
In answer to Mr. Bleckly, the applicant said he had been breaking stones
at the Workhouse for Is. 6d. per day. He had tried for a long time to get
work, but could not do so. He was very lame, as he had lost his right foot.
He paid 4s. 6d. a week for rent, had a wife and two boys to keep. One boy
was going to school, and the other was earning 3s. per week. His wife could
not get work regularly. He had been minding the boiler and engine at the
"Workhouse, but gave the work up and went back to stone-breaking.
" Mr. Bleckly : Yes, that is just the way. I suppose you would not mind
the boiler because you thought you did not get enough money ?
" Applicant, showing his footless leg, said the reason he gave it up was
because he had to go up and down a ladder, and with such a leg as he had he
could scarcely do it.
" Mr. Mackey, master of the Workhouse, said the ladder in question was
an iron one, and it certainly was difficult for the man to go up and down it.
" Mr. Bleckly : Ah, yes ; but I suppose if we had offered you more money
you would have managed the ladder easily enough ?
" Applicant : Well, I would have tried.
" Mr. Bleckly : Exactly ; and I think you should have the offer of the
boiler at Is. 6d. per day, and nothing more. I certainly think 9s. a week is
too much to give to a man who has an able-bodied wife, and only one boy to
keep. Tou must not expect we are going to give you money to enable you to
pay 4s. 6d. a week in rent. It is perfectly scandalous that you should come
here expecting such things."
Which well you may say " skandalus," Mr. Bleckly. And if
there wasn't men like you to give sech shameless wretches the lang-
widge they deserve, I should like to know where ratepayers
would be ?
Ere's another werry aggrawating offender, who gets what, if I
wur not a porochial hofficer, who knows what a fine nutrishus food
gruel is, I should call his gruel, from this ere upright-minded Chair-
man :—
" Martin Healey, a decent-looking labourer, next applied for work.
" Mr. Bleckly : And why don't you get work ? What is the good of coming
here ?
" Applicant : I have tried all I can to get work. I have walked about
for weeks, and have been to Liverpool, Garston, Manchester, and other places,
but cannot get work.
" Mr. Bleckly : But you can get work, and have no business coming here.
" Applicant : I have' been fifteen years in Warrington, and have never
troubled the Board before, and all I ask for now is work.
" Mr. Bleckly : And you ought not to have come now. What family
have you ?
Applicant : A wife and seven children.
Mr. Bleckly : The idea of a man with seven children saying he cannot
get work! "
Pediklus, indeed!
" Applicant : Well, I have tried long enough, and am willing to do any-
thing that may be offered.
" Mr. Bleckly : You could have found plenty of work if you had been an
industrious steady man."
Hot a doubt on it, I should say.
" Applicant : Well, Mr. Fogg (relieving officer) has my character, and I
don't think he can say anything against my character. A man with a wife
and seven children and labourer's wages has not much money left to be
unsteady with."
Sech imperence! But Blecely was down on him.
" Mr. Bleckly : I have no doubt Mr. Fogg will tell me you have been
loafing about the streets smoking your pipe.
" Applicant : I have nine of a family to keep, and if I could find any work
I would not come here, I can assure you.
" Mr. Bleckly : And what does your wife do ?
" Applicant : Well, she cannot do much even if she could get the work.
" Mr. Taylor : I think it will take the wife all her time to look after the
husband.
_" The Applicant having retired from the room for the Guardians to consider
his case,
" Mr. Bleckly said : I don't know what we can do with such a man. He
seems to be of no use except for getting children for Her Majesty. {Laughter,
in which nearly all the Guardians joined.}
" It was resolved to give him Is. 6d. a day ; and just as the man was called
in, Mr. H. Taylor said he would give him 2s. a day if he would work on his
farm for it.
" Applicant (with apparent thankfulness) said he would gladly accept
the work, and left the room evidently pleased at the idea of getting more
money and more cheerful work than stone-breaking."
That ere Taylor, Mr. Punch, is'evidently one of your umanity-
mongers, which one on 'em is enough to spile a nabour'ood, and
pison poor men's minds in spite of all a ridgment of Blecklys and
such like true benefactors of their specieses can say or do to bring
'em to a sense of their situations.
Ere's another of this precious lot, as can't get wurk. Kitch
em a gittin it as long as they can git out of its way !—
" Roger Cotter was the next applicant for work.
" Mr. Bleckly : What do you want ?
" Applicant : Work, Sir.
" Mr. Bleckly ; Then why don't you get it ?
"Applicant: Because I can't. I have worked at Burtonwood for some
time for Widow Kilshall.
" Mr. Bleckly : And why have you left ?
" Applicant ; Because they had no work for me.
" Mr. Bleckly : But there are other people who want workmen. I sup-
pose it is because you are a bad workman that they could not find you work.
What does your wife do ?
" Applicant : Nothing, Sir.
" Mr. Bleckly : But there is plenty of work for women.
" Mr. Bleckly : How many children have you.—Two. A boy going to
school, and a girl aged 18.
" Mr. Bleckly : And what is the girl doing ?
" Applicant : Nothing at present, Sir.
" Mr. Bleckly : But what has she been doing all her life ?
" Applicant : She has only been fit for work for this last two years, and
she has worked in the fields when she could.
" Mr. Bleckly : Well, I think you are a lazy set, What money did Mrs.
Kilshall give you ?
" Applicant : 18s. per week.
" Mr. W. Pennington : I '11 just tell you what my opinion is. No doubt
he has left Kilshall's because they wanted to drop his wages.
" Applicant : No Sir; that is not the reason. There was no work for me.
" Mr. W. Pennington : Oh, yes ; that's your tale.
" Mr. Bleckly' : It is a sin and a shame that he should confess his girl has
been brought up in idleness.
" Mr. Winstanley : But he did not say so. He says she worked in the
fields.
" After the applicant had been subjected to considerable further badgering,
Mr. J. Pennington offered him 2 s. per day to work on his farm at Win wick,
and this the applicant gladly accepted."
The next case is werry instructive, as showin the revolooshunary
249
A STRONG-HEADED HERO.
F
jeince Bismarck,
by the account of
his Bozzy, Dr.
BusCH,is distinguished
not only by general
but also by particular
strength of head. His
brains are capable of
standing almost any
amount of liquor, like
those of Socrates and
Mynheer Van Dunk
—and some one else
whom modesty forbids
Punch to name. His
Highness once drank
a pot of champagne
and porter mixed, and
was none the worse.
He brags of having
beaten topers in beer-
houses. So confident
is he in the potency of
his potting, that he will
back himself to drink
against the world.
" He can hold forth
by the hour upon wine;
and on a dire occasion, spirits becoming scarce in the tents, caused a desperate
appeal to be telegraphed home as to the strong need of a supply of gin
incontinently."
He is powerfully impressed with religious convictions, and pro-
fesses himself a decidedly Evangelical Christian. Thus the Prince
appears to be in a double sense a spiritually-minded man, as being
at once a fervent believer in " gin and true religion," and liking
both, according to the revelations vouchsafed to I)r. Btjsch, of the
strongest.
JUST THE MAN EOB HAED TIMES.
Mr. Punch—Sir,
Ix do a man's eart good as is used to that nastiest, aggrawa-
tingest, and extravagantest of all uman creturs, the British Porper,
to know that in these ere days of sentimentle umbug about umanity
and sech like rubbidge, there is still Bords of guardians as knows
their dooty and ere and there a Chairman as is fit to teche em of it if
they didn't. Wich I have not read anythink for yeers and yeers so
truly refreshin to my feelins as a porochial officer owin a dooty
to the ratepayers as the report in the Warrington Examiner of a
late weekly meeting of the Board of Guardians for that borough—to
potions of which I ask your leeve to dror the attenshon it deserve:—■
" One Robert Evans, fitter, in the employ of Mr. Kitchen, Scotland
Road Foundry for eighteen years up to last February, when he was discharged
in consequence of duluess of trade, appeared before the Board asking for work.
In answer to Mr. Bleckly, the applicant said he had been breaking stones
at the Workhouse for Is. 6d. per day. He had tried for a long time to get
work, but could not do so. He was very lame, as he had lost his right foot.
He paid 4s. 6d. a week for rent, had a wife and two boys to keep. One boy
was going to school, and the other was earning 3s. per week. His wife could
not get work regularly. He had been minding the boiler and engine at the
"Workhouse, but gave the work up and went back to stone-breaking.
" Mr. Bleckly : Yes, that is just the way. I suppose you would not mind
the boiler because you thought you did not get enough money ?
" Applicant, showing his footless leg, said the reason he gave it up was
because he had to go up and down a ladder, and with such a leg as he had he
could scarcely do it.
" Mr. Mackey, master of the Workhouse, said the ladder in question was
an iron one, and it certainly was difficult for the man to go up and down it.
" Mr. Bleckly : Ah, yes ; but I suppose if we had offered you more money
you would have managed the ladder easily enough ?
" Applicant : Well, I would have tried.
" Mr. Bleckly : Exactly ; and I think you should have the offer of the
boiler at Is. 6d. per day, and nothing more. I certainly think 9s. a week is
too much to give to a man who has an able-bodied wife, and only one boy to
keep. Tou must not expect we are going to give you money to enable you to
pay 4s. 6d. a week in rent. It is perfectly scandalous that you should come
here expecting such things."
Which well you may say " skandalus," Mr. Bleckly. And if
there wasn't men like you to give sech shameless wretches the lang-
widge they deserve, I should like to know where ratepayers
would be ?
Ere's another werry aggrawating offender, who gets what, if I
wur not a porochial hofficer, who knows what a fine nutrishus food
gruel is, I should call his gruel, from this ere upright-minded Chair-
man :—
" Martin Healey, a decent-looking labourer, next applied for work.
" Mr. Bleckly : And why don't you get work ? What is the good of coming
here ?
" Applicant : I have tried all I can to get work. I have walked about
for weeks, and have been to Liverpool, Garston, Manchester, and other places,
but cannot get work.
" Mr. Bleckly : But you can get work, and have no business coming here.
" Applicant : I have' been fifteen years in Warrington, and have never
troubled the Board before, and all I ask for now is work.
" Mr. Bleckly : And you ought not to have come now. What family
have you ?
Applicant : A wife and seven children.
Mr. Bleckly : The idea of a man with seven children saying he cannot
get work! "
Pediklus, indeed!
" Applicant : Well, I have tried long enough, and am willing to do any-
thing that may be offered.
" Mr. Bleckly : You could have found plenty of work if you had been an
industrious steady man."
Hot a doubt on it, I should say.
" Applicant : Well, Mr. Fogg (relieving officer) has my character, and I
don't think he can say anything against my character. A man with a wife
and seven children and labourer's wages has not much money left to be
unsteady with."
Sech imperence! But Blecely was down on him.
" Mr. Bleckly : I have no doubt Mr. Fogg will tell me you have been
loafing about the streets smoking your pipe.
" Applicant : I have nine of a family to keep, and if I could find any work
I would not come here, I can assure you.
" Mr. Bleckly : And what does your wife do ?
" Applicant : Well, she cannot do much even if she could get the work.
" Mr. Taylor : I think it will take the wife all her time to look after the
husband.
_" The Applicant having retired from the room for the Guardians to consider
his case,
" Mr. Bleckly said : I don't know what we can do with such a man. He
seems to be of no use except for getting children for Her Majesty. {Laughter,
in which nearly all the Guardians joined.}
" It was resolved to give him Is. 6d. a day ; and just as the man was called
in, Mr. H. Taylor said he would give him 2s. a day if he would work on his
farm for it.
" Applicant (with apparent thankfulness) said he would gladly accept
the work, and left the room evidently pleased at the idea of getting more
money and more cheerful work than stone-breaking."
That ere Taylor, Mr. Punch, is'evidently one of your umanity-
mongers, which one on 'em is enough to spile a nabour'ood, and
pison poor men's minds in spite of all a ridgment of Blecklys and
such like true benefactors of their specieses can say or do to bring
'em to a sense of their situations.
Ere's another of this precious lot, as can't get wurk. Kitch
em a gittin it as long as they can git out of its way !—
" Roger Cotter was the next applicant for work.
" Mr. Bleckly : What do you want ?
" Applicant : Work, Sir.
" Mr. Bleckly ; Then why don't you get it ?
"Applicant: Because I can't. I have worked at Burtonwood for some
time for Widow Kilshall.
" Mr. Bleckly : And why have you left ?
" Applicant ; Because they had no work for me.
" Mr. Bleckly : But there are other people who want workmen. I sup-
pose it is because you are a bad workman that they could not find you work.
What does your wife do ?
" Applicant : Nothing, Sir.
" Mr. Bleckly : But there is plenty of work for women.
" Mr. Bleckly : How many children have you.—Two. A boy going to
school, and a girl aged 18.
" Mr. Bleckly : And what is the girl doing ?
" Applicant : Nothing at present, Sir.
" Mr. Bleckly : But what has she been doing all her life ?
" Applicant : She has only been fit for work for this last two years, and
she has worked in the fields when she could.
" Mr. Bleckly : Well, I think you are a lazy set, What money did Mrs.
Kilshall give you ?
" Applicant : 18s. per week.
" Mr. W. Pennington : I '11 just tell you what my opinion is. No doubt
he has left Kilshall's because they wanted to drop his wages.
" Applicant : No Sir; that is not the reason. There was no work for me.
" Mr. W. Pennington : Oh, yes ; that's your tale.
" Mr. Bleckly' : It is a sin and a shame that he should confess his girl has
been brought up in idleness.
" Mr. Winstanley : But he did not say so. He says she worked in the
fields.
" After the applicant had been subjected to considerable further badgering,
Mr. J. Pennington offered him 2 s. per day to work on his farm at Win wick,
and this the applicant gladly accepted."
The next case is werry instructive, as showin the revolooshunary